Lily Pilgrim vs Their World
by ApellaZant
Summary: Lily Pilgrim is your typical 18 year old girl. She's also the daughter of the best fighter in the province, Scott Pilgrim and the American Ninja Delivery Girl Ramona Flowers. Their story is over, but will it come back to haunt Lily?
1. Prologue: The Formative Years

Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim series or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to persons, living or dead, is completely coincidental.

A/N: This is my first ever fan fiction. So obviously, feedback is a wonderful thing!

Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World

Prologue

Toronto , Canada .

2 years have passed since Scott Pilgrim **(Our Intrepid Hero)** defeated Gideon Graves at the Chaos Theater and reunited with his love, Ramona Flowers. The two moved back to Scott's Toronto apartment **(which he also shared with longtime friend Kim Pine)**, and all was well. They even got married, and had Link and Zelda as their cake toppers **(because Scott insisted that, whenever he had seen Ramona towards the beginning of their relationship, he had heard the soundtrack to the Legend of Zelda)**. Kim moved out, because, as she put it, she would rather die than continue living in their happy little hellhole. She said it while smiling though, so Scott's pretty sure she was joking. Pretty sure.

Life was good. Scott worked his way up to main prep chef at the Happy Avocado. Ramona continued her job as an Amazon delivery girl, though she continuously looked for new employment to keep from skating through Scott's dreams. The two were happy until one fateful night…

**ONCE UPON A TIME...**

A nice, quiet neighborhood was slowly being buried by drifting snow. However, one of the buildings was not seeming to suffer any ill effects from the weather. Snow still banked in the yard, but even now, flowers were springing up amidst the white. The sidewalk leading to the door stayed inexplicably clear. A pair of roller blades were leaned against the building right next to the door.

Inside, Scott Pilgrim (**Age: 26, Rating: Even More Awesome than Before)** walked around the small apartment he shared with his wife, Ramona Flowers-Pilgrim. Although the apartment was small, it didn't seem so. Between Scott's minimalist **(read: mostly broke)** dispositions and Ramona's interior design, the room was less "small" and more "cozy." A tan couch adorned one side of the room, while nearby, a matching arm chair **(Note: Chair? The thing is MASSIVE!)** completed the room. The main source of light for the room? A single standing lamp, which gave the room a nice, non-florescent glow.

Of course, Scott's mind wasn't on the interior design of the room **(Note: It never really was…)**. He was looking for something… something that was incredibly important to his life. Something that he wasn't entirely sure he could live the next few minutes without. Something he needed to find right now, or risk dying a slow, agonizing death directly related to its absence.

"Rammy! Have you seen my DS!" Scott yelled in the living room. "I was gonna try and beat that next guy before your parents get here!"

The sound of his voice echoed into the bathroom where Ramona Flowers-Pilgrim (**Age: 27, Emotion: Scared to Death)** was standing wide eyed, looking at herself in the mirror. It had been years since her head had glowed, but she was convinced, if it still could, it would have been blinding now.

"Ramona? Did you hear me?" Scott said as he walked into the bathroom behind her. She started suddenly at the closeness of his voice and whipped around, hiding something behind her back.

"Umm… yeah! I did. Didn't you leave it in the car?" she stammered. "After the whole 'you can't play while driving' argument?"

Scott's face was blank for a moment, but then smiling recognition came back.

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that," he said as he started to leave.

"Wait! Honey," Ramona grabbed out for him. Scott immediately turned around. That caused Ramona to stumble a little bit for the next set of words she needed to say. "Umm… I think… we need to… talk."

_What? Did I do something wrong? Is she going to leave me? I thought we were doing so well at this married thing…_

"Scott, you're talking out loud," Ramona said, not able to conceal her rolling eyes. "I've told you honey… you're not good at the whole 'inner monologue' thing."

"So what do we need to talk about?" Scott asked after a momentary pause. Ramona looked down at the ground, steeling her courage, took a deep breath, and brought out what she'd been hiding… a small white stick. "So… a stick?"

"It's a pregnancy test, Scott."

"So who's pregnant? Kim? Lisa? STACEY? If Neil did something, so help me…" Scott started as he clinched his fists.

"NO SCOTT!" Ramona dropped the test and grabbed Scott by the shirt. She took a short moment to recollect herself before continuing. "Seriously… Kim's not here, we haven't seen Lisa since the wedding, and Stacey… well…" Ramona paused. "I don't actually know if she and Neil are that serious yet," she lied.

"So who's pregnant?" asked Scott again, calming down.

"Me. I'm pregnant, Scott," Ramona said as her eyes teared up.

Scott stood there for a very long time, his expression blank. Then, a smile slowly crept onto his face.

"That's… that's AWESOME!" he exclaimed, hugging a thoroughly confused Ramona. "I promise you… we're gonna be the best parents EVER!"

Ramona closed her eyes and hugged Scott back. "Yeah honey. We will be."

**SOME TIME LATER...**

"So… Scott Pilgrim's gonna be a dad," said Kim Pine as she sat on the end of the Pilgrim couch **(Note: This was actually Ramona's couch. Scott never owned the couch.) **"I gotta say I was pretty scared of the idea of Scott reproducing, but seeing as how it's you, Rammy… I think the kid won't be half bad."

The whole gang had gathered in the Pilgrim living room as Scott and Ramona broke the news. Neil and Stacey sat together on the couch with Kim, while Stephen Stills had elected to stand, nervous at what they were going to be told. Scott and Ramona sat on the huge chair **(Note: Seriously... big enough for the two of them. Just LOOK AT IT! It's practically a love seat!)**, hands entwined as they waited for everyone else's response.

"A kid huh? That's pretty heavy," said Stephen Stills as he half leaned, half collapsed against the wall. "You guys sure you're ready?"

"Well, with Scott being the new prep chef at the Avocado, we're definitely financially ready," Ramona chimed in. She'd been oddly silent almost the entire time, letting Scott try and infuse his excitement in everyone. "As for everything else… only one way to find out, right?"

All of the sudden, Ramona's phone signaled a text message. With everyone watching, she took it out and flipped it open.

"Scott… it's for you. Wallace," she said, annoyed as Scott took the phone. "We seriously need to get you your own phone."

Scott read the message:

**Hey buddy! Congrats on the little Pilgrim! I'll be sure and tell your mom. –Wallace :-D**

"How the heck did he know? We haven't told anyone," asked Scott as he looked around the room. He spotted Stacey slowly putting her phone away.

"What? Street goes both ways little brother," Stacey said with a smile.

"So what are you going to name it?" said Neil.

"We haven't really thought about it. I mean, it'll help once we know if it's a boy or a girl," answered Ramona, starting to smile at the thought.

"I was thinking, if it's a girl, we need to name her 'Ramona Jr," said Scott.

Everyone stopped and looked at Scott.

"Umm… honey… I hate to burst your bubble, but that's not a good idea," said Ramona, trying to deflect any glares at her husband.

"Why not? It's perfect!" exclaimed Scott.

"Scott, are you TRYING to be an idiot?" asked Kim, her left eye slightly twitching.

"What do you mean?"

"And there's the answer to my question," she muttered as she sat back on the couch.

"Well… I mean… I guess we COULD name her 'Kim," said Scott after a moment of thought. Kim's eyes shot wide open and her fists clinched yet again.

"You know… that's not such a bad idea," started Ramona. "Kim? If you don't mind, I think that would be sweet. You know? Naming our daughter after our mutual best friend."

"Scott… Ramona… do NOT name your daughter 'Kim.' Please," Kim said through her teeth.

"But it would be…" Scott began.

"SCOTT PILGRIM DON'T YOU DARE NAME YOUR CHILD KIM!" Kim yelled as she pointed at Scott.

"Okay… okay…" Scott said as he lowered his head, defeated.

Stephen Stills was the next to speak. "What about a flower name? I mean… I'm assuming she'll have the last name Pilgrim, so what about if she had that from Scott, and a name of a flower from Ramona? It'd be kind of poetic." **(Stephen Stills: Awesome songwriter for that very reason!)**

"A flower name? I like it," said Ramona as she slowly nodded her head in approval.

**JUST DRIVE!**

"SCOTT! WHAT DID WE SAY ABOUT PLAYING VIDEO GAMES WHILE DRIVING!" Ramona yelled from the passenger seat of their car. **(Ramona V. Flowers, Status: IN HORRIFYING PAIN!)**

Scott jumped, dropping his DS in the process. He immediately put his hands at 10 and 2 on the steering wheel. "But we're at a red light!"

"Another thing… WHY ARE WE STOPPED AT A RED LIGHT! GO!"

Scott punched the gas and the small car roared through the intersection, expertly dodging traffic. All those hours of GTA playing paid off as Scott sped down the road toward the hospital.

**WAITING...**

Scott sat nervously in the hospital waiting room. Ramona had been taken immediately to the maternity ward, but he was told he couldn't come back with her. Something about doctors and germs and zombies… he wasn't really paying attention. So now, he waited.

…and waited…

He looked around the room. There were about half a dozen other men sitting around in various stages of worried. Then, the world started to haze out as Scott turned his DS on and started playing again.

…some more time went by…

"Video games, Scott? I should have known. The most important day of your life and you're STILL playing that damn thing."

Scott's head snapped up and he saw Kim Pine, along with Stephen Stills and Neil Nordegraf.

"C'mon… I figured a bunch of white coated doctors wouldn't be able to keep the great Scott Pilgrim away from his wife. Not when 7 douche bags couldn't do it," said Kim with a faint hint of a smile.

"Where's Stacey?" asked Scott as he looked around the room.

"She's trying to get your parents here, and of course, keeping your gay former roommate abreast of the situation," answered Kim. "Now c'mon… I figure if any experience is going to make you grow up, watching your child be born will do it."

Kim grabbed Scott by the collar of the shirt and pulled him to his feet and through the doors to the maternity ward with Stephen Stills and Neil quickly following behind.

**THE BIRTH OF A HEROINE...**

Scott sat next to Ramona in the hospital room as the doctors rushed to clean their baby. Ramona lay back on her pillows, exhausted, as Scott took her hand. The two just sat there with their friends looking on from the window **(Note: the doctors had allowed Scott, but after actually standing up to the anger of Kim Pine, they forced everyone else outside)**. Scott noticed a few vases on the counter. A small bunch of flowers marked from Knives Chau. A much bigger bouquet from Lisa Miller. And an even bigger one from…

"Mr. and Mrs. Pilgrim?" a nurse started as she walked up.

"Flowers-Pilgrim," breathed Ramona, not even lifting her head.

"Right. Umm… are you ready to see your daughter?"

Scott's eyes flew open. "Daughter?"

"Yes sir. We told you when she was born, but you looked a little busy," the nurse answered. Scott and Ramona nodded their heads and the nurse walked away, returning just a moment later with a baby girl **(Name: Lily Kimberly Pilgrim. Age: Less than one hour. Fun Fact: Cuter than bunnies and baby chickens PUT TOGETHER! Other Fun Fact: Kim doesn't know what her middle name is… and hopefully never will…)**.

"Oh my God…" sighed Ramona as the nurse put Lily into her arms.

Scott Pilgrim looked at his wife and daughter for a long moment, a light shining in his eyes. He placed a hand on his daughter's head.

"You will make my strength your own. You will see my life through your eyes, as your life will be seen through mine. The daughter becomes the…"

"Scott… don't be a geek," Ramona said with a weak roll of her eyes.

**BEDTIME STORIES...**

4 year old Lily Pilgrim sat on her bed, absolutely enthralled. It was bedtime story time, and as always, the man telling her the story was getting excited, jumping about the room as he always did when he told stories.

"And then… I jumped in your mom's bag, and fell through to subspace! And there he was. He had your mother and was holding her captive, but I rushed forward and head butted him as hard as I could," Scott Pilgrim **(Age: 31, Rating: Best Dad EVER!)** said as he jumped up and pantomimed giving a head butt.

"Then what happened, daddy!" Lily's eyes were wide with fear, but she couldn't resist knowing the rest of the story.

"Then… your mom broke free from her chain, and there were suddenly thousands of her. She was EVERYWHERE. And she was like 'Get out of my head!" Scott said, acting as though he were looking around at the Ramona's he spoke of at that moment.

"Honey… if you tell her that story, she's never going to go to sleep," said Ramona **(Age: 32, Rating: Still hot as ever)** as she walked into the room. Her hair was longer than it had been in her 20's, and it no longer sported any color but her own, a dark brown.

"But Mom! I've gotta know what happened to Gidon!" Lily pleaded as Ramona stepped past Scott and started to tuck her back into her bed. Lily looked almost exactly like Ramona, save the longer hair. She insisted on keeping it at a length that more closely matched Scott's.

"I think you mean Gideon, honey. And don't worry… your father will tell you these stories all your life if you let him. Just be thankful. When I first met him, he didn't know ANY stories," Ramona said with a playful smirk over her shoulder.

"I hadn't met the most interesting woman ever!" Scott retorted.

Ramona just shook her head as she kissed Lily on the forehead and turned out her light. "Good night, Lily," she said as she stood back up and walked out of the room. Scott lingered for a moment more before also kissing Lily and leaving.

Lily Pilgrim laid there for a while, her head still buzzing with the stories of Gideon and his epic battle with her father. She wondered if, one day, she would fight as bravely and as well as her father had…

**SUBSPACE...**

"The most important thing to remember is that you can control what goes on in here."

Lily Pilgrim (**Age: 9, Rating: Pretty freaked out)** was standing in the middle of a desert wasteland with her mother, Ramona. Around them, there was nothing but sand and a lone cactus that cast a long shadow on the ground. While Lily was trying to pay attention to Ramona's instructions, she was also still trying to figure out how they had gotten in the middle of a desert by going through a door in downtown Toronto .

"This, Lily, is subspace. It'll help you travel faster, and if you're ever in trouble, you can come in here to try and escape," Ramona continued, placing a reaffirming hand on Lily's shoulder.

"So… Dad wasn't just making it up?" asked Lily.

"No, honey. Subspace is real. I know they don't tell you about it in school, but believe it or not, it's common knowledge in America where I'm from," Ramona said. She then skated forward a bit on her roller blades, a seemingly impossible task on sand. "Now… follow me."

Lily tentatively pushed off. She wasn't wearing the clunky roller blades her mother had on, but instead was wearing simple tennis shoes that sprouted roller skate wheels for faster movement. Another American marvel, her mother had said. Lily expected to meet resistance from the sand under the wheels, but there was none. In fact, it was almost easier than ice skating. Lily pushed off again, harder this time, and sailed past her mother. Ramona caught up to her in no time though, and they were flying. The wind whipped past them, making Lily understand why her mother had insisted on her wearing goggles for this trip.

"Anything is possible in subspace," said Ramona as she began to pull ahead of Lily. "All you need to remember is to be careful, because your father…"

Lily didn't hear the rest of the sentence, as she suddenly tripped over something in her path and tumbled to the ground. Thankfully, the sand was much softer than it looked, and Lily rolled over to see none other than her father, Scott Pilgrim, shaking his head in bewilderment. He was dressed in a strange outfit, a sort of green and red patchwork tunic. Definitely not something she'd seen before.

"Dad?" asked Lily.

"Oh!" exclaimed Scott. "Subspace lesson, I guess?" He rubbed his head as Ramona skated over to help him up. Lily was shocked to find that he was shorter than she was, and appeared to have round, stubby limbs. He looked… like a comic book character. A badly drawn comic book character.

"Sorry honey… I should have told her before we started going," Ramona said as Scott dusted himself off.

"Oh it's fine. So I guess I DID, in fact, fall asleep," said Scott as he looked around. "I was hoping I wouldn't, but now that I'm here, might as well get the nap while I can."

"Okay… we'll be back in a little while, honey," Ramona said as she kissed mini-Scott. Lily was still baffled by what she was seeing, and couldn't keep her mouth from gaping. "And you," Ramona said as she turned to her daughter, "need to remember that the subspace highway goes directly through your father's head, so you'll need to be careful."

"Yes… ma'am," said Lily in a small voice…

**THE STORY BEGINS...**

And so the story of Lily Pilgrim began. She continued to learn from her parents Scott and Ramona **(with the occasional visit from Aunt Kim, whom she was strictly forbidden from mentioning her middle name to)**, and grew into a marginally cool high schooler in a band. She still idolized her father, and while she kept up the teenage appearance of indifference, she still loved to hear his stories about the 7 evil exes that he had fought for her mother's hand **(even if she didn't REALLY believe it was all true)**. As she turned 18, it seemed like everything was going swimmingly.

But then… things got turned upside down!


	2. Chapter 1: Patel

Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim series or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to persons, living or dead, is completely coincidental. No tanookis (seriously… did anyone ever know what the heck a "tanooki" was? What the heck, Nintendo?) were harmed in the writing of this fan fiction.

A/N: Thanks to all who read my little prologue to this story. Now, we get into the meat of the project… the actual story of Lily Pilgrim. Sit back and be ready to be amazed… or confused. That was the response my wife had. Yeah… okay… I'm gonna stop talking now…

**Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World**

**Chapter One: **

**Patel**

Lily Pilgrim **(Age: 4, Status: Amazed) **sat on her bed, no longer even trying to put up the pretense of being sleepy. That was because her father, Scott Pilgrim **(Age: 31, Rating: Awesome Storyteller)** was recounting one of his adventures to her as a bedtime story.

"So we played this awesome song that Stephen Stills wrote and just as we were about to go into the second verse… BOOM!" Scott jumped into the air and landed hard on the corner of the bed, bouncing a giggling Lily into the air for effect. Then, he quickly slicked his hair down in front of his face, and pointed at Lily, who still couldn't help but smile.

"Mr. Pilgrim! Consider our fight… BEGUN!" he said in a strange voice which made Lily giggle even harder.

"So then, he was flying at me, ready to take me out, but at the last second I threw my guitar to your uncle Neil, blocked the punch he threw and reversed it with a sock right to his jaw!" Scott said as he jumped up and pantomimed everything he was saying.

"Who was he, Daddy?" Lily exclaimed, wanting to know more.

"I'm getting to that," said Scott with a smile. "We fought and fought, and finally, I asked him who he was."

Again, Scott slicked his hair down in front of his face and struck an odd pose, which made Lily laugh even harder. "My name… is MATTHEW PATEL! And I am Ramona's FIRST… evil… ex… boyfriend."

The mention of her mother's name stopped Lily's giggles, and she was wide eyed once again. "Mom was there?" she asked.

"Of course Mom was there," said Ramona Flowers-Pilgrim as she walked into the room. **(Age: 32, Occupation: American Ninja Delivery Supervisor) **"Your father didn't have many adventures before I showed up. Or at least none we can tell you about right now."

"Was it cool?" Lily asked, her attention now squarely on her mother, who walked up and put an arm around Scott.

"It was most definitely cool," Ramona said, smiling at Scott. "Scared the daylights out of me, but it was cool."

"So what happened next?" Lily pressed.

"Well… we fought for a while, and then suddenly, he flew up in the air and called forth his demon hipster chicks!" Scott said as he pointed to the sky.

"Demon hipster chicks?" exclaimed Lily.

"Yeah! Demon hipster chicks that could throw fireballs and everything!" Scott said, obviously getting more excited as the story reached its climax. "There were hundreds of them!"

Ramona's expression dropped for a moment. "Honey, I'm pretty sure there were only four," she said in a monotone.

"Four… hundreds… what's the difference?" said Scott with a shrug. "Anyway, they threw their fireballs at me, but I flipped out of the way! And then all of the sudden, Kim and Stephen were beside me, and Stacey and Wallace jumped in front of me. Neil even threw my guitar away and joined us!"

"Everyone was there?"

"Yep… it was very weird. They struck some strange pose," said Ramona, shaking her head at the memory.

"That's right. We used the power of friendship to stun Matthew and his demon hipster chicks," said Scott. Then he crouched down and acted like he was going to give a massive uppercut. "Then, I jumped up to where Matthew was, and BOOM! Knocked him out with one big punch to the jaw!"

"Wow…" said Lily, still wide eyed in amazement. "Then what happened?"

"Well, that's when me and your mom got on the bus back home, and she agreed to date me. Only if I defeated her seven evil ex-boyfriends, of course," Scott said.

"Exes, but let's not get into that," said Ramona as she walked towards the bed. "Anyway… time for bed, Lily. I know you're excited, but you've got to get some sleep."

"Awww Mom… can't I hear just one more story?" Lily whined as Ramona tucked her back in bed.

"Not tonight. Maybe your father will tell you the story of the skateboarding actor tomorrow night… or maybe he'll finally remember something about the time he dated your aunt Kim in high school," Ramona said with a bit of a smile.

"YOU DATED AUNT KIM! Did you kiss her! Did ya'll get married!" Lily almost jumped out of the bed, but the covers had been tucked and she was fairly restrained.

"Well obviously we didn't get married… do we have to talk about this?" Scott said with a worried look on his face.

"No Lily… your father only married me. Now get some sleep," Ramona said as she tried to soothe her daughter with a kiss on the forehead.

"Good night, Lily," Scott said as he walked with Ramona out of the room and turned out the light.

Lily laid in bed for a long time, thinking of Matthew Patel and his demon hipster chicks. She also thought of how much her dad reminded her of Prince Charming, slaying the dragon for the hand of the princess. She didn't know about that kind of love, but she really hoped there would be someone that would do that for her one day…

**IN THE BAND…**

It was a beautiful day in Toronto, Canada. The sun peeked out from behind some small clouds, shining on the bustling city. It shined on the skyscrapers of downtown. It shined on the mossy walls of Casa Loma. Finally, it shined on a house across the street from what looked like a military bunker.

The lawn was still covered in snow, though the sidewalk leading to the door was clear. The house had a tower like structure to the side, giving it the interesting appearance of a fairy tale castle mixed with suburban Toronto .

Inside, Scott Pilgrim **(Age: 45, Status: Concentrating… Leave him alone!) **was hunched over his DS, frantically pushing buttons even as Ramona Flowers-Pilgrim **(Age: 46, Status: Annoyed but Loving)** put a plate of toast in front of him.

"Honey… I don't know why you're still playing that thing," Ramona said as she walked over and set another plate of toast on the table. "Didn't Neil get you a new system for Christmas?"

"Yeah, but I can't get started on that one till I beat the original!" said Scott, still looking at the DS screen.

Ramona sighed as she set down a third plate of toast and sat down to eat. She was happy with her family, though at this point, it seemed one of them was a little late getting out of bed…

"I don't have time to stay for breakfast… I'm late!" said Lily Pilgrim **(Age: 18, Status: Late… but still cooler than both her parents) **as she zinged down the stairs. She was dressed in her Loretto College uniform, a dark blue sweater and a plaid skirt, her hair somehow unkempt looking and neat at the same time, with a pink streak down the side **(Note: You WISH you had her stylist)**. Before Ramona could even open her mouth, Lily rushed into the kitchen, grabbed her piece of toast and Subspace purse, and was headed out the door. "Me and the guys are playing Lunchapalooza today and we wanna go over the set list one more time."

Scott looked up from his DS. "You know… me and…"

"I know, Dad! You and Aunt Kim and Aunt Lisa played Lunchapalooza when you went to St. Joel's!" Lily yelled as she ran out the door.

The sound of the door slamming echoed through the apartment as both Ramona and Scott looked at each other in mild confusion. Then Scott saw his toast, began eating and tuned everything out yet again.

**TANOOKI DREAM…**

Lily let the final cymbal crash echo through the empty auditorium for a moment, letting her band mates soak in just how awesome they had just sounded. The auditorium was obviously very old, just as Lily had suspected.

"That sucked," said the skinny dark haired kid playing the guitar. **(Name: John Jacobs, Fun Fact: Writes All of the Songs for Tanooki Dream). **He nervously looked down at his guitar as he continued strumming nonsense notes.

"Oh shut up, John. It sounded great and you know it," hissed a brunette girl with a black sweater over her school uniform **(Name: Kayla Simson, Fun Fact: Lead Singer for Tanooki Dream, Other Fun Fact: Doesn't care what John thinks… most of the time). **

"Yeah… I thought it sounded really cool. Echo-y too," said the small black haired Asian kid standing next to Lily's drum set **(Name: Little C, Real Name: No one knows, Occupation: Bass player of Tanooki Dream). **

Lily just smiled. Of course, she thought they had sounded great, but she didn't really need to jump into this particular argument about the quality of Tanooki Dream's sound. She just enjoyed playing music, period.

"Well Lily… let's go again. Count us in!" said John as he stomped the distortion pedal for his guitar…

**LUNCHAPALOOZA…**

_That's why I just have to come out and say… _

_You never ever ever really loved me anyway! _

Again, Lily let the final cymbal crash ride throughout the auditorium, but this time, it was accompanied by loud cheers and whistling as the student body of Loretto College poured out their adoration! Then, Lily remembered her Aunt Kim had asked her to do something. She raised her drumsticks high in the air.

"WE WERE TANOOKI DREAM! THANK YOU!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. It wasn't actually as easy as Aunt Kim had made it sound, but she was out of breath from the adrenaline anyway.

Later on, the students were milling around in the old auditorium while Lily and Kayla packed up the equipment. Suddenly, John ran up onto the stage in a fit of excitement.

"You guys will never guess what just happened!" he exclaimed.

"Canada just launched a hostile invasion of the U.S?" said Lily, barely concealing her smile.

"Aliens have arrived and want to take Tanooki Dream to play opening night at the Chaos Theater on Mars?" Kayla added, not turning her head away from packing up Little C's bass guitar.

"What? No!" said John. "I just got done talking to Lindsey Pam! She's having a party tonight and apparently the band she had scheduled broke up at lunch yesterday and she needs a replacement and she asked if we would want to do it!" John had not paused to take a breath.

"Whoa man… slow down," Lily said as she put out a hand to try and calm John down. Meanwhile, Kayla became very angry with her packing of Little C's guitar, throwing the pick and distortion pedal into the case with seeming malice.

"So what do we think?" John asked as he looked over his shoulder. A blonde girl in the St. Joel's uniform waved at him with a smile **(Name: Lindsey Pam, Fun Fact: She has TWO first names! Not So Fun Fact: Kayla hates her)**.

"I mean… I'm up for it. What about you, Kayla?"

Kayla slammed the guitar case closed and picked it up. "Nice to see that if I think we're awesome, nobody cares, but if that skank thinks we're good, everything's all sunshine and rainbows!" she yelled as she walked away.

John looked after her in confusion. Lily, in an effort to defuse the situation, jumped in. "I'd say that's a yes… or at least as close to a yes as we're gonna get from her."

"Okay. Same set list okay?" John said with a smile. "Gotta stick to what got us the gig."

"Right."

**MR. LEE'S CLASS…**

"So we're really gonna play at a Lindsey Pam party?" whispered Little C.

Lily shushed him. They may have been at the back of the classroom, but if Mr. Lee heard them talking about anything besides Canadian History, there would be trouble. "Yeah… same set list as this afternoon. You can make it, right?"

"Of COURSE I can!" replied Little C, just a touch too loudly for Lily's detention hating tastes. "But what did Kayla say? I thought she hated Lindsey."

"She seemed okay with it," Lily said **(No she didn't). **"Maybe she's over the whole thing now." **(No she isn't) **

_AHEM! _

Lily flinched as she turned and looked at Mr. Lee. He was a skinny Asian man with wire frame glasses and black hair in a bowl cut. It wasn't his physical stature she was afraid of, but his abilities with a pen and a detention slip.

"Miss Pilgrim? I DID enjoy your performance today at Lunchapalooza. However, could you please keep your discussions on the topic of French colonial Canada at this particular time?" he asked.

"Yes sir," Lily said as she sank down in her chair, for once trying to avoid the eyes of everyone around her.

**READY TO PARTY!**

"So how did your Lunchapalooza go?" asked Ramona.

Lily looked up from her homework and smiled. "It went great! So great even that we've got another gig! Tanooki Dream is going to be playing tonight at Lindsey Pam's party!"

Scott walked into the room and sat down next to Lily at the dining room table. "Sounds like you're getting pretty big!" he exclaimed. "Mind if we come watch you guys? You know… 'former band member critiquing new band' type thing?"

"You guys at a party?" Lily asked, a touch of sarcasm in her voice. "Yeah… that'll go over well."

"I wouldn't say that… we used to party all the time with Julie. Just as long as there isn't any drinking at this party," said Ramona, trying to put on her best motherly face.

"Mom… Dad's told me lots of stories about how you guys used to drink all the time at Sneaky Dee's. You even gave alcohol to Aunt Knives when she was, like… 17."

Ramona turned to Scott, her face a shade of annoyed. "Oh he did, did he?" Scott suddenly became very interested in his DS again.

"Yeah. Trust me though Mom… no drinking at this party. Besides… we can't play drunk," said Lily.

"Any experience trying?" asked Ramona, raising an eyebrow.

"No Mom gee look at the time I gotta go get ready see ya!" said Lily as she rose from the table and ran upstairs. In what seemed like a matter of seconds she was down the stairs again dressed in a t-shirt and jeans and out the door.

She was immediately met by Little C, who was dressed in pretty much the same way with a Maple Leafs baseball cap on his head. "Are you ready, Lily?"  
"Do I look ready? I am SO ready," Lily responded as the two started to walk down the street toward Lindsey Pam's house.

"I mean really… this is the big time. This girl's parties are so epic, a few of them have been on MTV," said Little C.

"The cable network?"

"No. The public access channel. One even showed up on Channel 10 news."

Lily started to see more and more cars parked on the side of the road as they approached the house. Then, they turned a corner and saw it… the biggest house she had ever seen, with the most people she had ever seen milling around it. There was even a stage set up to the side where she could see the tiny figures of Kayla and John getting ready for the show.

"Like I said… the girl throws epic parties," said a wide eyed Little C.

Lily just gulped.

**HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF…**

A few minutes later, she was putting the finishing touches on setting up her drum set. John and Little C had gone off to find Lindsey, and so it was just Lily and Kayla finishing up the set up.

"This is pretty crazy, isn't it Kay?" asked Lily as she looked once again at the gigantic house they were set up in front of. There were literally people everywhere. There was NO WAY Lindsey Pam knew this many people.

"Pretty crazy as in I wanna throw up. How ridiculous is this? We're just like these other sheep. Lindsey Pam snaps her fingers and we jump to do whatever she wants," muttered Kayla as she finished plugging in the microphone.

"Hey… like Uncle Stephen says… a gig is a gig is a gig," Lily said, looking at Kayla for a shared laugh. None came. Kayla was glaring off in the distance at something. Lily turned and immediately saw it.

Lindsey and John walking together.

_Lindsey with her arm around John! _

Lily quickly turned back to where Kayla was, but she was already gone. With John and Lindsey approaching, Lily just bit her lip and tried to smile.

"Hey… where's Kayla running off to?" asked John as they approached the drum set.

"Oh you know… girl stuff," Lily lied, trying to cover for her friend.

"Well… good thing to get that out of the way before show time, right?" John said as he glanced back at Little C, who was coming out of the crowd. He took one look at John and Lindsey and then immediately searched for Kayla.

"I'm gonna go make sure the guests are doing okay," smiled Lindsey. "I can't wait to see you guys perform again. Ya'll are gonna make this the best party ever. Maybe we'll even be on the REAL MTV this time," she said as she walked off the stage.

Little C inched closer to Lily. "Where's Kayla?" he asked.

"You know where she is," she replied.

"Does she know we go on soon?" John interjected himself into the conversation.

"Of course I do, Jacobs," Kayla suddenly appeared at her keyboard. "Now let's get this over with before that girl puts me in a diabetic coma. Lily?"

Lily smiled for a moment, and then remembered… her Aunt Kim had said to do the whole screaming thing BEFORE they played. So, still grinning ear to ear as the guys rushed to pick up their instruments, she raised her sticks to the heavens.

"WE ARE TANOOKI DREAM! ONE TWO THREE FOUR!"

Suddenly, a jet of fire shot up from in the middle of the bustling crowd! Everyone backed away from a woman standing in the middle of a ring of fire as John, Little C, Kayla and Lily froze on stage.

"MISS PILGRIM!" the woman yelled.

"Huh?" Lily gasped. The crowd continued to back away from the mysterious woman even as the flames died out. She started to walk towards the stage as men and women practically dove out of her way. There was something familiar about this entire sequence of events, but Lily couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"Who the hell are you?" yelled Kayla over the crowd, vocalizing the question that was on Lily's mind.

"My name… is SANDRA PATEL!"

_Sandra Patel? PATEL! _

Lily found her voice as she stood up from the drum set. "Patel? What do you want?"

"You know what I want, little girl," growled Sandra. As she approached, Lily could make out more about her. She was wearing a tan jacket over a reddish shirt. She had long, flowing black hair, which covered half of her menacing face. "It's time you pay for the sins of your father."

"Sins of my father? What are you talking about! He's the manager of the Happy Avocado! He never did anything EVIL!" Lily screamed as she hopped over her drum set to get a better position.

"Your father killed my dear third cousin at the Rockit 22 years ago!" Sandra screamed.

"Wait," Lily stood up straight, cocking her head to the side. "Your _third cousin?_"

Sandra stopped for a moment. "Yes… Matthew was my third cousin… once removed… NOW YOU'LL PAY!"

Sandra jumped up into the air and sailed towards Lily with blinding speed. Amazingly though, Lily blocked the kick, spun around, and nailed Sandra with a kick of her own, throwing her into the ground so hard it kicked up a dust plume! Suddenly, the crowd that had backed away from Sandra began cheering, although conditions were becoming like a mosh pit quickly, churning up the perfect lawn.

"Hmm… so you're not a pushover. This makes things more interesting," said Sandra as she pulled herself out of the ground and began circling.

"I still don't know what you're talking about. My father didn't kill your third cousin! It was just some bedtime story! It wasn't REAL!" Lily screamed, still freaked out.

"Bedtime story? I'll show you just how real it was!" Sandra yelled as she again rushed the stage. This time though, as she got close to Lily, she was suddenly slammed in the face with a bass guitar! Again, Sandra flew off the stage and landed on the ground. Lily looked around, confused, as Little C, Kayla and John all took fighting stances around her.

"Hey pirate skank!" yelled Kayla. "You want to mess with Lily Pilgrim, you're gonna have to go through Tanooki Dream!"

"Fine!" Sandra jumped to her feet and suddenly flew into the air **(Note: The crowd thinks this is already the most awesome party on the planet… and now there's a flying pirate chick!). **Lily, remembering the story **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Was it really a story?), **knew what was coming next. She shoved all of her friends to different directions as fireballs rained down on the stage! Again, the crowd went insane!

"How does THAT suit you?" yelled Sandra from her position above the crowd. She blew a kiss toward Lily, which erupted into more fireballs, forcing her to cartwheel away to the edge of the stage.

"Fireballs: check. What's next? Gonna call your demon hipster chicks on me!" Lily said through her teeth.

Sandra paused. "Demon hipster chicks? What are you talking about?"

"My dad told me the story, and he said Matthew Patel called forth his demon hipster chicks," Lily said, wondering why SHE would know more about the whole thing than Matthew's alleged third cousin **(Sandra Patel Note: Once Removed). **

"I don't know anything about that… I only knew about the mystical powers… but maybe…" Sandra appeared lost in thought. Then, she clinched her fists and scrunched her face tightly. It looked like she was about to explode when suddenly… *POP*! A small, grayish imp-like creature dressed in a tight shirt and pants appeared over her shoulder. Sandra looked at it in wonder. "I… I don't believe it… my first demon hipster chick!"

"_So _happy for you," said Lily sarcastically as she suddenly appeared next to Sandra in the air.

"HOW DID YOU- -"

Lily began punching Sandra left and right, over and over again before winding up for one huge final punch…

Which Sandra blocked…

And countered with one of her own!

Lily hit the ground hard as someone in the crowd yelled "Combo Breaker!" Sandra and the mini hipster chick landed right in front of her.

"I've waited 22 years for this… now, I will kill you, daughter of Scott Pilgrim!" she screamed as she prepared to throw a fireball at the defenseless Lily!

"NOOOOOOOO!"

Suddenly, there was a blue sword protruding from Sandra's chest! The sword flickered, looking almost more like a 16-bit graphic than a real sword, but its effect on Sandra Patel was definitely real. She fell to her knees, revealing a man with shoulder length brown hair and a pair of glasses **(Name: Unknown, Hotness Factor: Off the Charts). **

"What?" Sandra asked as she looked down at the sword. The mini hipster chick poofed out of existence as the unknown man pulled the sword, still clean, from Sandra. She turned her head to see her attacker, and her voice was suddenly pitiful and sad. "You… but… you…"

_**POOM!**_

Lily looked on in utter shock as Sandra exploded into a pile of shimmering coins. The crowd stood in stunned silence. In fact, the only person to say anything at all was the mysterious man.

"Hey," he said as he stretched out a hand to help Lily to her feet. "You okay?"

"I… I guess," Lily stammered. "Who are you?"

The sword drew back into his hand until it was merely a small metallic ball. He put it in his pocket and adjusted his glasses. "Name's Sean."** (NEW INFO UNLOCKED! Name: Sean, Hotness Factor: Even MORE off the charts.) **

Lily just stared at him, but was suddenly brought back into reality by the sound of Lindsey Pam. "What… happened… to… our LAWN!" Lily looked. The places where Sandra had landed during their battle had deep trenches. Dirt was everywhere. Lindsey started to run from rut to rut, trying to kick the dirt back in. "My parents are going to KILL ME! You guys are SO gone!"

Kayla quickly appeared next to Lily, who was still gazing at Sean. "Well, as much as I love how we just ruined that tramp's party, we might wanna get out of here. Lily… c'mon Lily!" she said as she pulled Lily away from Sean.

"My name's Lily Pilgrim!" Lily yelled back to Sean as she finally remembered her name.

"I know. Don't worry… I'll find you again, Lily Pilgrim!" Sean called back.

**IT WASN'T A DREAM…**

"So what was that all about?" asked Little C, as soon as they were safely away from the party and back in the Pilgrim basement.

"Waffle?" said Lily, still lost in thought.

"She's gone," Kayla said with a smile. "All swept up in Mr. White Knight with the Blue Sword."

Little C looked down at the floor, shuffling his feet off the couch. John, meanwhile, was pacing the floor. "That was an absolute disaster! We didn't even get to play a song! What happened!"

"Weren't you there? Pirate chick showed up. Big fight. Oooo… ahhh…" said Kayla, obviously still bitter at having to spend the afternoon at Lindsey Pam's house.

"Lily… what was that woman talking about? Did your dad do something?" asked Little C softly.

Lily paused for a moment. She had believed that her dad's stories were nothing but elaborate yarns meant to entertain a young child. It had never crossed her mind that they might, in fact, be real. And if Sandra Patel had tracked her down through the years to try and make her pay for the "sins of her father," **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Whatever the hell that means) **then could it be possible that others would follow? How many would she have to defend herself against?

She noticed abruptly that everyone was looking at her, obviously expecting an answer.

"All I know is… if those stories were real… maybe I need a refresher course."

_**TO BE CONTINUED…**_

What will happen next to Lily Pilgrim and her awesome high school band, Tanooki Dream? Will the past of Scott Pilgrim and Ramona Flowers-Pilgrim continue to haunt their daughter? What strange relationship will the next attacker have to an ex? And who is the mysterious **(Lily Pilgrim Note: And hot!) **stranger, Sean? Find out in the next installment of "Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World!"


	3. Chapter 2: Lee

Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim series or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to persons, living or dead, is completely coincidental. Also kids, remember that swords are dangerous. It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who read and liked the first little bit of this story. We're continuing with a different format, since there's so much stuff I have to cram into each chapter, so don't expect an "ex" to be defeated at the end of every chapter. It might start taking Lily 2 or even 3 chapters to get the job done. Dang kids and their attention spans...

Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World

Chapter 2

Lee

"Wow," breathed Lily Pilgrim **(Age: 7, Emotion: Wonder)** as she walked up the stairs next to her father, Scott Pilgrim **(Age: 34, Status: Loving Watching His Daughter's Reactions)**. They were headed to one of the most beautiful and famous sites in Toronto: Casa Loma. "What IS this place?" she asked, looking up at the towers.

"This is Casa Loma," said Scott **(Random Casa Loma Note: Has 98 rooms that you can tour AND secret passages. Seriously. Real live secret passages)**.

"Didn't you fight one of mom's exes here?" Lily couldn't take her eyes off the beautiful castle. It was something unlike anything she'd seen before.

The two reached the top of the stairs and sat on a bench, taking in the site and watching as a wedding party off in the distance was taking pictures with the castle in the background.

"This is where I fought Lucas Lee, yeah," Scott said, contemplating.

"Tell me the story again," Lily pleaded, now focusing her attention on her father.

"Well… me and your mother were out on a date. Our second date, actually," Scott began. Lily closed her eyes, imagining her parents walking on the snow of a Toronto evening. Her father continued. "It was pretty cold, but we were out walking. And we came here, to Casa Loma, because your uncle Wallace was here, stalking Lucas Lee, his favorite actor."

"And then you fought Lucas Lee?" asked Lily.

"Well… not really. I was kind of star stuck. I mean… famous person! Not only in the area, but TALKING to ME! Pretty exciting stuff," Scott smiled as he remembered. "Of course, he wasn't star struck, so he walked over and just punched me right in the face!"

"But I thought Aunt Kim said he was one of the nice ones…" Lily said as she stared at the ground. She didn't think anyone who punched her father could be TOO nice… but she trusted her Aunt's assessment.

"Kim? Kim wasn't even there…" Scott said, a confused look on his face. "No… it was just me, Wallace and Ramona. And Lee, of course. After he punched me, he grabbed my feet and threw me into the tower. See?" Scott pointed at the main tower of Casa Loma, where the bricks were a slightly different color. "That's where I hit. And I fell all the way down onto some bags of cement!"

Lily was no longer asking questions. As always seemed to be the case with her father's stories, she was now completely taken in. In fact, she could almost see the action in front of her eyes. Lucas Lee, tall and dressed in black, stalking towards her father, who jumped up from the cement as though nothing had happened.

"He walked up and caught me off guard… punched me in the face again!" Scott said, wincing. "Then he started to walk off, but I grabbed him from behind… only to find it was his stunt double!"

"That cheater!" Lily exclaimed.

"There was a whole TEAM of them, so I had to fight them off, and they hit me with their skateboards and stuff, but eventually I beat them, and faced off with Lucas again," Scott said as he stood up. He knew he could wrap this story up in dramatic fashion with another location to tell the ending, and he took Lily's hand to lead her away from the benches to an even longer staircase. "We fought for a bit longer, but he had me beat. He was just too strong."

"Too strong for you, Dad? I don't think so!" Lily said.

"Yeah… too strong for me. But I was smarter," Scott said with a smile. "So I tricked him. I asked him to show me a… a… 'grindy thingy' on this rail."

Lily looked at the rail. It wasn't a continuous rail, but rather one that turned every 20 steps or so. She could imagine it in winter time. On this side of the mountain, away from the afternoon sun, the rail would have been covered in ice and snow. She couldn't imagine anyone doing a grind down this rail. She couldn't even imagine walking down the stairs and being able to use it as a steady handrail.

"I've gotta hand it to him. He was good. He managed to do his thingy all the way down the rail," Scott said as he peered down the stairs. "Problem was… he was going too fast. He tried to show off a bit too much, so he couldn't pull out of it in time, and he crashed into the sidewalk WAY down there."

"So… the moral of the story is 'don't show off?" Lily ventured.

"Moral? Honey, I'm sure your mom will tell you… my stories don't have morals. They're just cool," Scott said with a wink…

**TIME TO THINK**

Lily Pilgrim **(Age: 18, Status: Freaked Out)** skated as fast as she could through the barren desert. She knew she ran the risk of her father and his evening nap, but she didn't care. She had to ask someone a question, and the quickest and safest way to get there was through subspace.

Not only that, but she needed time to think.

Lily had just faced off with Sandra Patel, apparently the third cousin **(Dead Sandra Patel Note: Once Removed)** of one of her mother's evil exes. This led Lily to wonder what of the other stories were true. Were all of them true? She had to know, especially if it was going to result in random people showing up and making her life difficult. But she refused to bother her parents, she thought as she wiped some of the sand off of her goggles. They would worry, and she couldn't stand when they worried about her. So she would go to the next best person.

Lily saw the Subspace door just up ahead, its star glinting brightly in the desert sun…

**THE TRUE STORY**

Lily stood in front of a small house in an isolate neighborhood. It was a nice, cozy looking home, but not overly decorated. The lawn was well kept, but Lily knew that was just Jason Kim still trying to atone for whatever he'd done. Lily allowed herself to wonder for just a moment what exactly he could have done in the past to warrant cutting someone else's lawn as much as he did, but she decided it probably wasn't her business anyway.

She walked up the sidewalk to the front door and rang the doorbell. There were noises from inside, and in a moment, a red haired woman opened the door with a somewhat tight looking smile.

"Lily Pilgrim… my favorite niece," said Kim Pine **(Age: One month younger than Scott Pilgrim… do the freakin' math. Relationship Status: None of your business, really)**. "So tell me… what has your father done now?"

Lily beamed back at her aunt. Granted, she knew that her only REAL aunt was Aunt Stacey, but Scott's friends were enough of his family to warrant being her family. And Kim was her favorite. Kim represented everything Lily wanted to be: independent, self-assured and intelligent **(Lily Pilgrim Note: And the best drum player EVER!).**

The smile faded though as Lily remembered why she had come to her aunt's house to begin with. "Not anything Dad's done… recently anyway," she said as her face drooped a little.

A worried expression flashed onto Kim's face before she narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "Recently? How far past 'recently' are we talking?" she said as she stepped aside, inviting Lily in **(Lily Pilgrim Curfew Countdown: 20 minutes)**.

"How much do you know about the evil exes?" Lily asked as she walked in, not wanting to dance around the subject in case she didn't have a lot of time.

Kim sat down on a brown leather arm chair in the living room, her eyes a little wider than usual. "I don't remember a lot. I mean… I was only there for a few of the fights." (**Fun Fact: Kim Pine had at least some interaction with all the exes except Roxie and Gideon)**.

"Well… I think they might be coming back or controlling people from beyond the grave or something," Lily said, looking at Kim's face to try and determine if that really sounded as crazy as it did in her head.

"What do you mean?" Kim asked.

"Well… this afternoon, Tanooki Dream played at Lindsey Pam's party," From there, Lily recounted the entire story to Kim, even down to the sudden appearance of Sean **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Who only gets hotter with each retelling)** and Sandra's sudden transformation into a pile of coins. After she had told the story, Kim sat back in the arm chair.

"Yep… sounds like evil ex stuff. I always knew that stuff would come back to bite your father in the butt," Kim said, shaking her head. "Never expected it to have anything to do with you though."

"So… the stories WERE true?" Lily asked.

"Of course they were true. Your father is many things. An idiot, a hopeless romantic, an occasional clown, but he's not really a liar," Kim said. "The exes were real. I had the displeasure of meeting a few of them… 5 and 6 in particular," she remembered with a shudder. Lily couldn't remember 5 and 6 offhand, but she got the feeling that Kim didn't want to relive it, so she didn't ask about it.

"Well… in that case… if they're coming after me in order, then Lucas Lee should be next," Lily said with a hint of doom in her voice.

"Well you should be fine then… he was one of the nicer ones," Kim said, getting up and heading to the kitchen.

"That doesn't make sense though," Lily said as she turned around on the couch to face the kitchen, where Kim was. "Dad told me that Lucas Lee had all these stuntmen that attacked him, and then they fought and he beat him by tricking him into grinding down the handrail to the back stairs."

Kim walked out of the kitchen with two sodas. She handed one to Lily and then leaned against the wall with hers. "Obviously, your father is leaving it up to the rest of us to tell the true story. He gives the 'action movie' version."

"So what REALLY happened?" Lily asked **(Lily Pilgrim Curfew Countdown: 10 Minutes)**.

"I wasn't there for the whole thing. I was actually at work, but Wallace called me and told me Scott was in trouble, and needed backup," Kim said. "I got there, and found him out cold with Lucas Lee standing over him, so obviously, I suspected the worst. Lee was cool though. He actually helped Scott get up and brought us crackers and fruit from his trailer."

"So… they didn't fight?" Lily asked **(Lily Pilgrim: World Turning Upside Down)**.

"Oh they fought… and Lee kicked your father's butt," Kim said, not able to suppress the flicker of a smile on her lips. "He would have again, but then, Scott really DID trick him into doing that idiotic stunt. I STILL don't know how he pulled that off…"

"So if I see Lucas Lee, I need to just trick him into skating into a wall or something?" Lily said, half jokingly **(Half praying it would be that easy… -ly)**.

"I doubt it. The first one who attacked you wasn't Matthew Patel… it was his third cousin **(Dead Sandra Patel Note: O…)**… once removed." **(Kim Pine Note: I was GETTING TO IT!)**

"Great," Lily said, letting her shoulders drop. "So with my luck, I'll fight Lee's sister or something."

Kim walked over and put a hand on her shoulder. "Hey… you'll be fine. I mean, c'mon… you're Lily Pilgrim," she said with a smile.

**THIS PRETTY GOOD ACTOR**

Lily Pilgrim felt a little better, having seen her aunt Kim. She loved her parents and all, but it helped sometimes to know that her parents weren't the only ones watching out for her. Aunt Kim and Uncle Stephen **(Scott Pilgrim Note: …Stills)** were just a quick trip through subspace away. And while she hadn't seen them in quite awhile, she knew Aunt Knives and Aunt Lisa were always there to support her too.

She was so caught up thinking about her family that she didn't see the blonde haired woman slicing through the night behind her.

Lily finally reached the subspace door she would use to get home. She pulled on her goggles, adjusting them for vision, and tapped her shoes together, making them sprout the wheels she used to skate through subspace. She reached for the door handle…

And then the door was sliced in half, blowing apart and sending Lily flying into a bush!

She scrambled to get her bearings, and as her gaze settled on the destroyed subspace door, she noticed a blonde woman wearing a black outfit and holding **(Lily Pilgrim Note: *gulp*)** a sword!

"Oh great… now what!" Lily asked herself, not really expecting an answer.

The blonde gave her one anyway.

"My name is Winifred Hailey. Your father killed my co-star. Prepare to die!"

**THE CAR CHASE SCENE… ON SKATES**

"Are you freaking kidding me!" Lily asked as she stood up. "Why in the world would you seek revenge because your co-star was killed! Did you two have a thing or something!"

"When Lucas Lee died, so did my career!" Hailey yelled **(Lily Pilgrim: figured her career died because her name was Winifred)**. "That movie with Lucas was going to be my breakout role, the one that finally made everyone take me seriously! And then, your father had to go and muck it up!"

"Well, your little vendetta is going to end up getting me grounded!" Lily yelled back **(Lily Pilgrim Curfew Countdown: 5 Minutes)**. "Besides, you really think it's fair to come at me with a sword!"

"Life isn't FAIR!" Hailey screamed as she ran towards Lily, her sword glinting in the night air. Lily stood frozen, like a deer in headlights, but at the last second, amidst a blue glow, Sean appeared **(Note: Most info still unknown, but hotness meter steadily rising)** and stopped Hailey's sword with his own!

"Run Lily… RUN!" Sean yelled as he strained against Hailey. Lily stood shocked **(And awed)** for a moment, but as Hailey backhanded Sean and sent him rolling to the ground, she turned and started skating as hard as she could.

Lily tore down the streets, trying to remember any other subspace doors she could use. Her mother had tried to drill a few into her head for emergencies **(Though she never said anything about disgruntled sword-wielding former actresses!)**, and Lily tried desperately to remember any in this area of town. Meanwhile, she could hear Hailey's screams of anger, along with what she could imagine was the sword cutting through various things she was weaving around.

_I heard Ramona sing… and I heard everything…_

Lily cursed to herself. This wasn't going to be her night after all. She didn't even have to look at the caller ID as she flipped open her cell phone, still weaving around mailboxes and lampposts.

"Hello?"

"Lily Kimberly Pilgrim… where are you!" The sound of her mother's voice was both comforting and grating at the same time. "Your curfew was 4 minutes ago!" **(Fun Fact: The clocks in the Pilgrim household are set 4 minutes fast, due to Scott constantly being late for events, Not So Fun Fact: Ramona forgets this more often than not)**

"Mom… I'm on my way home!" Lily said as she jumped over a small dog running across the road. She hoped Hailey wouldn't do anything to it. "I was just at Aunt Kim's house. Hey Mom… do you know of any subspace doors around here?"

"Subspace doors? What about the one two houses down?" Ramona asked.

"Yeah… any others?" Lily said as she bit her lip. That door was obviously gone.

"There's one in the back of the Second Cup annex they just built out there,"

"Thanks Mom. Love you!" Lily said as she did a power slide to turn the corner and head to the Second Cup.

"Wait… why are you…" Lily hung up the phone before Ramona could continue her question.

"Time to see if this card thingy really works," Lily said to herself as she sped up her strides. She could tell from the sound that Hailey was right behind her and possibly even closing. She skated around the front of the Second Cup, baiting Hailey in before grabbing a lamppost and literally swinging around a corner to an alley behind the building. She knew it wouldn't throw Hailey for long, so Lily almost immediately jumped toward the door, hoping the card worked…

Lily hit sand.

She had never been so happy to look up and see the desolate wasteland of subspace. She even took out the quick access card and kissed it.

"That was a close one, huh?" said a voice from behind her.

Lily scrambled to her feet **(An impressive feat in roller skates)** and whipped around to see Sean, once again smiling confidently.

"You really know how to get yourself into trouble, don't you, Lily Pilgrim?"

What a turn of events! Lily chased down by a crazed Winifred Hailey, only to be saved once again by the mysterious Sean. But how in the world did Sean follow Lily into subspace! What can Lily do to defeat Hailey and continue on her quest for a normal life? And what kind of lawn mower does Jason Kim use when doing Kim's yard work? **(Kim Pine Note: Better be a damn good one, that's all I'm saying…)** The answers to these questions and more **(Well… maybe not all of them…)** in the next installment of "Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World!"


	4. Chapter 3: Hailey

Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim series or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to persons, living or dead, is completely coincidental. Please remember that, in no way do the opinions and actions expressed in this fan fiction reflect that of the great nation of Canada.

A/N: So I'm back. Sorry this chapter is about a day late... my editing team actually came up with a few things for me to address, so I needed to fix it. Why? Because I only want to provide you people with the best quality work that I can. Or at least some reasonable facsimile. In any case, I hope you enjoy this latest chapter. The next ones will be posted next weekend (since, as my profile has stated, I do most of my writing on Saturday and Sunday).

Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World

Chapter 3

Hailey

"How did you… but… where did you come from!" Lily stuttered as she tried to regain her composure. Being followed into subspace when she had only seen her mother and father in there before was nerve rattling enough. Being followed by the hottest guy you'd ever seen was a different matter entirely.

Sean reached out a hand to calm Lily down. "Whoa… it's alright. I'm from America , so I know about subspace."

"From America ?"

"Just like your mom, Lily."

Lily froze for a second. "How do you know my mom?"

Sean smiled. "How could I NOT know your mom? Lily, you may not know this, but down in America , the story of Scott Pilgrim and Ramona Flowers is an inspiration to millions,"** (I forget the actual numbers…)** he said as he began to inch closer to Lily. "I personally didn't think they were real until I came up here and met you."

"So… so… why are you following me?" stammered Lily.

"I'm trying to help you. I know what's going on Lily… I know that there are seemingly random people attacking you because of what your father did to the League of Evil Exes years ago," Sean continued to walk toward Lily, and she was finding it difficult to keep inching herself away. "I'm here to help."

_I heard Ramona Sing… And I heard everything…_

"Oh **XXXX**!" Lily cursed as she looked at her phone. "My curfew… Mom's gonna kill me."

Sean looked momentarily confused. "How did you just do that with your mouth?"

"Huh? Oh… just a trick one of Dad's friends taught me when I was 3," Lily explained as she started to skate away. "Mom didn't think it was funny."

"Wait! Don't you want to know who that girl was?" Sean said, reaching up to stop Lily.

"I'd love to, but if I don't go home right now, she won't have anyone left to kill. My mom will have done it for her," Lily yelled back as she started to create more distance.

In a few moments, she was standing at another subspace door, this one that she knew would take her to the sidewalk in front of her house. She took a deep breath and stepped through, finding herself in the middle of her front yard and face to face with her mother **(Name: Ramona V. Flowers-Pilgrim, Status: VERY UPSET WITH YOU, YOUNG LADY!)**

"Where have you been!" Ramona demanded.

"I told you Mom… I went to Aunt Kim's house," Lily replied, her head bowed.

"We just talked to Kim. You left her house almost 15 minutes ago. Using subspace, you should have been home in plenty of time!" Ramona continued to glare at her daughter.

"I…" Lily started. She didn't want to tell her mom about the evil exes possibly coming back and trying to kill her. "I… ran into a problem."

"I'll say," Ramona snapped. "And I believe you've run into another one right here."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Flowers-Pilgrim." Suddenly, Sean appeared behind Lily. Ramona's attention immediately snapped to his face, while Lily's eyes widened. **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Oh my God what is he doing?)**

"And who are you?" Ramona inquired.

"I'm Sean… Sean Williams, ma'am," he replied **(NEW INFO UNLOCKED: Name: Sean Williams). **"I'm a friend of Lily's from school."

Lily couldn't bear to look at her mom's face, but the voice that she heard next was much too sweet to be an angry Ramona. "Well… I'll let her slide this time, but remember Sean… her curfew is there for a reason, and we expect her to abide by it." Lily's head shot up at her mother.

"I understand ma'am. And I promise… it won't happen again," Sean said before turning to Lily. "See you tomorrow at school." With that, he turned and walked back to the street, turning to the right and waving at Lily, who weakly waved back.

**INTERROGATION**

Lily trudged up the stairs and through the front door, her mother following after. As she heard the door click close, she started up the stairs to her room, but Ramona stopped her.

"So… who was that? And how long have you been dating?" Ramona said, trying hard to conceal a smile.

"Dating?" Lily blinked a few times at the thought of it **(Lily Pilgrim Note: The GLORIOUS thought of it…)**. "We're not dating… he's… a friend."

"Uh huh… honey, I've seen that look on myself far more times than I care to admit," Ramona said knowingly. "I've also used that line before. Just remember to be careful. What you feel now isn't always what you'll feel later."

Lily nodded slowly, but she was too tired to be having this conversation. Plus, her now silenced phone was buzzing, she was sure with a call from Kayla if nothing else. "Okay Mom," she said as she started up the stairs again.

"And Lily?"

"Yes."

"You're SO grounded."

When Lily reached her room, she checked her phone. Yep… 3 missed calls. One from John, one from Kayla and one from Little C. She decided to spill the romantic beans first **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Thanks Mom for putting the idea in there… even though it was there to begin with)**, which meant she needed to start with Kayla. She dialed the number and hit SEND.

"Lily!"

"Hey Kayla… sorry I missed your call. I wanted to tell you that I'm okay, and I saw Se…"

"We were so worried that you would get attacked after the show by another psycho! I've got everyone here… so I'll put you on speaker!" Kayla said.

"Wait… no Kay…"

"Hi Lily!" said John **(Interesting Fact: This is John's first time to actually be in Kayla's room. Fun Fact: It's actually why she's so cheerful)**.

"Hey Lily!" said Little C **(Little C Status: Wishes Lily was there)**.

"Hey guys…" Lily trailed off.

"So anyway," started Kayla again. "What were you going to say?"

"Umm… I DID get attacked."

"WHAT!" all three gasped.

So Lily recounted the entire story again, about how she had gone to her aunt Kim's house, nearly been killed by an exploding subspace door and Winifred Hailey, and then had barely escaped with the help of Sean Williams. After she finished her story, there was a long silence.

"So… you're grounded! Man! That sucks! What if we get another show?" John exclaimed.

"Out of that entire story THAT'S what you pulled out," said Kayla (**Status: Wishes she didn't have John and Little C in the room so she could hear the details about Sean)**.

"So he knows how to use subspace…" Little C intoned, sounding incredibly hurt.

"Yeah… on to that… he SERIOUSLY introduced himself to your mother?" Kayla picked up the conversation and ran. "And your mom thinks you should be dating him?"

"My mom thinks I AM dating him," said Lily. For some reason, talking with all three of them, the idea was sounding more annoying than fanciful.

"Well… no reason to disappoint her, right?" said Kayla.

"Could we talk about something else? Like who is this Winifred Hailey girl that tried to kill you, Lily?" Little C interjected.

"I don't know, but Sean seemed to know something. I might ask him."

"Of course he knows something," muttered Little C. "Wouldn't be surprised if he's behind all this…" **(Little C: Currently acting more like Kayla than Kayla is)**.

"Sounds to me like an excuse to see him again," Kayla said. Lily could hear the smile over the phone.

"Yeah… anyway guys, I gotta go. Time for bed. See you tomorrow!"

**SUBSPACE MEETING**

Lily wondered around in the wasteland. While she usually knew where she was going and what she was doing, this particular time in subspace, it appeared that she was just… wandering. She couldn't even put a rhyme or reason to it in her own head. Suddenly, she saw figures on the horizon. Lily found herself suddenly desperate for contact, and couldn't stop herself from skating towards them as fast as she could.

As she approached, the light shimmering around each of the figures dissipated, and she was left face to face with 6 of the 7 evil exes! Matthew Patel, Lucas Lee, Todd Ingram, Ken and Kyle Katayanagi and finally Gideon Graves slowly formed an arc, trying to close her in. She panicked and whirled around, wanting nothing more than to skate the other way. Blocking her path though were Scott and Ramona, but there was something… off about them. They both had glowing red eyes, and somehow looked… younger, but washed out. As though someone drawing them had simply forgotten to add color. Lily screamed as they opened their mouths to reveal razor sharp teeth before lunging toward her…

"AHHH!" Lily awoke with a start. As she looked around though, the scene confused her even more than the dream had. She was looking around at her Canadian History classroom, complete with Mr. Lee standing at the front.

"Miss Pilgrim, I thank you for your enthusiasm. Now, would you kindly tell the class what important document was signed in 1763 to cede colonial Canada to the British?"

"Umm… what?" Lily stammered. **(This is a dream, right?)**

"Very well then. Would anyone like to help Miss Pilgrim?" **(Obviously not.)**

Little C raised his hand. "In 1763, the Treaty of Paris was signed, ending the Seven Years' War and handing over the French colonies in Canada to the British." **(Source: What? You doubt Little C? How dare you?)**

"Very good. And Miss Pilgrim? Please pay attention next time."

"Yes sir," Lily said as she sunk down in her seat.

After class, Little C and Lily walked down the hallway amidst the crowd of students happy to be leaving school for the day.

"Lily… what's wrong?" asked Little C, a concerned look on his face.

"I don't know. I just keep worrying that this is gonna be something I can't deal with," replied Lily as they reached her locker. She absentmindedly began punching in the combination, not even looking. "I mean, my dad did, but my dad was the best fighter in the province. Me? I'm a drummer… not a fighter."

Little C did his best to stifle a laugh at Lily's unintentional humor. Meanwhile, Lily finished punching in the code to her locker and opened it. She immediately froze at what she saw, which prompted Little C to peer into the locker as well. Inside was a note, folded over itself. Lily took it out and read it.

**Hey,**

**Will be in subspace after school. Come talk to me about our mutual "friend" Winifred Hailey.**

**-Sean**

"Wow. I guess I should get going then," Lily said as she folded the note back over again.

"Seriously? You're going to trust this guy! He carries around a sword, for goodness sakes," Little C complained.

"So does Winifred Hailey, so I guess I'm safer with him than I am alone. And if he has any information for me on how I can beat her, I need to see what he has to say," Lily replied, not sure why she was being defensive.

"Yeah… like that's the only reason you're going to see him," Little C shot back before walking away.

**SLIP OF THE TONGUE**

"So what's her story?" Lily asked as she skated up to Sean.

Sean smiled and stood up. "Good to see you again. Also good to see your mother didn't tear you to bits like you thought she would," he said with a bit of a smile. Lily was finding it difficult to concentrate, but luckily, Sean offered her a seat on the bench. As she took that seat, he began his story. "Winifred Hailey, as you know, was an actress in the years leading up to your dad's defeat of Lucas Lee. She was 16, and had basically been in fluff movies to that point, but her film with Lucas was set to be her biggest one yet, her first 'blockbuster."

"Until Dad showed up and tricked Lucas Lee into killing himself," Lily added.

"Exactly. After that, the studio wouldn't dare cast another actor in his place. They'd shot too much footage. And Winifred became known as a cursed woman, the 'co-star of Lucas Lee on that movie where he died' type of thing," Sean said. "After that, she kind of fell off the radar, but there were rumors… reports that she was spotted in this dojo or that gym, learning martial arts. Apparently, she's gotten pretty good," he lamented as he touched his lip.

"So how do I beat her?" Lily asked.

"You're a Pilgrim. You can either fight her, or outsmart her, though I don't think she's going to do any tricks on a skateboard for you."

Lily was lost in thought for a moment, even as the winds of subspace whipped around her.

"Sorry to have such a downer of a date with you, Lily," Sean said as he adjusted his glasses.

"So this is a date?" Lily asked, her mind suddenly far, FAR away from Winifred Hailey.

"Did I say 'date?" Sean smiled. **(YES! YES HE DID! IS THIS A DATE?)**

Lily coughed, trying to play it cool. "Yeah… I think you might have."

"Well… if this IS a date, then I can't abide spending it all in subspace," Sean said, reaching out his hand. Lily took it. "I've got to try and salvage SOMETHING!"

**UNMITIGATED DISASTER**

Lily was trying to eat, but it was really hard with Sean sitting across the table. The two were in Pizza Pizza, a local pizzeria **(Lily Pilgrim Note: On a DATE! A REAL LIVE DATE!)**.

"I'm sorry for the lack of originality," Sean said as he leaned across the table, where there was a half-cheese, half-sushi pizza. "I'm new to Toronto, and this is really the only place I know."

"It's okay. I love pizza. And sushi," Lily said with a smile **(In reality, sushi upsets her stomach, but she wanted to look unique, so she ordered it anyway)**. "So where did you live before you moved here?"

"I've lived in quite a few places. Most recently New York though," Sean said. "Not the city though… I know most people think 'New York City' when you say 'New York.' I lived upstate."

"Cool. My mom actually lived in New York City for awhile before she met Dad," Lily explained.

Sean chuckled. "Yeah… I know. Remember? Your parents are a little famous in the States."

"Oh yeah."

A short time later, Lily and Sean stepped through the gates of Hillcrest Park. Lily smiled.

"You know… this is where my parents had their first date," she said as Sean invited her toward the swing set.

"Now THAT I didn't know. History repeating itself, maybe?" Sean said with a smile.

"I don't know. Do you have any crazed ex-girlfriends?" Lily said, half jokingly **(half 'I hope not'… -ly)**.

"No. Well… no crazed ones anyway," Sean said, looking off to the distance. Lily sat on the swing and he started to push her. "You?"

"No, but it doesn't seem to be a problem. My mom's are quite enough for me, thank you," Lily said as she swung back and forth.

"Good to know."

"Never was one for the drama, I guess," Lily continued.

"You know… in hindsight, I don't think this was a good idea."

Lily's face dropped. "What?" **(WHAT?)** She looked back at Sean, but Sean wasn't looking at her. He was looking at something ahead of them. He stopped pushing Lily in the swing and stepped around in front of her, pulling the small metallic ball out of his pocket. His blue pixel sword sprang to life.

Because Winifred Hailey was standing at the gates of the park.

**FINISH HER!**

"Hailey… your issue isn't with Lily!" Sean yelled across the park. "If you have an issue with anyone, I'd direct you to her father."

"But Scott Pilgrim's already lived a full and happy life," said Hailey as she drew her sword. "If I want to steal someone's life like mine was stolen, I need to go after his daughter, that slag behind you."

Lily stood up out of her swing. She could sense that something was about to happen, but she had a plan. She just needed to somehow let Sean know…

Too late! Sean rushed forward, obviously trying to get an early advantage in the fight. Hailey ducked his sword slash and tried to return her own, but he expertly blocked it, spinning away from the impact. Hailey pressed the advantage though, striking and swiping from seemingly everywhere at once.

"Lily! You might wanna run again…" Sean said, his voice slightly strained as he blocked the attacks of Winifred Hailey.

"Yeah… RUN!" yelled Hailey. "I'll be with you as soon as I slice your boyfriend to ribbons!"

Then Hailey was suddenly knocked off balance by a rock to the side of the head! **(Lily Pilgrim Note: BULLSEYE!)** Sean tried to take advantage of the distraction, but Hailey was just too quick. He knocked her sword aside with a spinning blow, but as he faced her again, Hailey ducked her head and kicked her leg out, striking Sean in the face with her foot! **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Wow… gotta admit, that's impressive.)** As Sean staggered back, Hailey climbed his knee and kicked him in the face again, sending him skidding to the ground where he stopped, out cold. **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Uh oh… this isn't good…) **With Sean dispatched, Hailey turned toward Lily and touched the side of her head.

"A ROCK, Pilgrim? A ROCK?" she screamed.

"There weren't any snowballs around…" Lily said, now backing away as Hailey advanced on her, sword pointed straight at Lily's chest.

"You really ARE your father's child, aren't you?" Hailey suddenly struck, closing the distance between them incredibly fast.

Lily ducked the first sword swipe, tapped her shoes together to sprout the wheels and tore off, Hailey right behind her. Her plan had involved Sean NOT being knocked out cold, but she could probably pull it off by herself **(Probably… *gulp*)**.

"Subspace can't save you now! I've taken out all the doors in this area!" Hailey screamed after her. "You're cornered, Lily Pilgrim!"

"We'll see about that," Lily muttered to herself as she left the park and began skating down the street. Weaving in and out of the traffic was difficult, but Lily had been on skates since she could walk. In fact, she'd wondered if she might have a future in the courier/delivery business…

Her plan would have to be timed perfectly. She could hear Hailey behind her, and figured she was close enough for this to work. She reached a lamppost and grabbed hold of it, slinging herself around the pole. Hailey didn't have time to react, and Lily caught her full force with the bottom of her skates as she swung back around, sending Hailey crashing through a storefront window!

As Lily hit the ground, she could hear a crowd starting to gather around. Many of them began snapping pictures on the phones. She breathed a sigh of relief and started to skate away.

"You think you could beat me like THAT?" **(****XXXX!****)**

Lily spun around just in time to see Hailey deliver a flying kick right to her chest! Then the world rushed past her before she slammed into a brick wall across the street. She glanced up at Hailey, her head swimming, and saw that Hailey's sword was bent on the sidewalk behind her. **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Small victories, right?)**

"Looks like this is the end for you, Pilgrim!" Hailey screamed as she prepared to kick Lily in the face.

"Lily!"

Sean's voice reenergized Lily, as she sprang forward and ducked under Hailey's kick. Now the plan could go as she wanted. She saw Sean, sword out. Everything else seemed to happen in slow motion. He sliced through the lamppost as she swung around it again. It tipped over, and she used her momentum to slide to the end, increasing her velocity as she went **(Note: That's physics, kids!)**.

Hailey spun around, but couldn't dodge the incoming attack…

Lily skated around, lamppost in hand…

A dog across the street barked…

"WOOF!"

_**BAM!**_

The lamppost caught Winifred Hailey right in the face, flipping her over backwards! Lily stopped herself short of going through another storefront window and looked back. Hailey had landed on her stomach, and was now struggling to get up.

"You… think you've won," Hailey gasped. "You haven't… done anything. You… won't… survive!"

With that, Hailey's head dropped and she exploded into coins, just like Sandra Patel had. The crowd that had gathered immediately sprang onto the pile of coins, scratching and clawing for them** (Who knew Canadians could be so vicious?)**, while a few others took pictures with their cell phones or expressed disgust for those going after the coins. **(They were really jealous on the inside…)**. Lily nearly collapsed, exhausted, but glad to be rid of Winifred Hailey.

**SURPRISING INVITATIONS**

Lily staggered up her front stairs with Sean close behind.

"You really pulled something off back there," Sean said. "Remind me of that the next time I think you need rescuing."

"I'll always take a rescue," Lily said **(Lily Pilgrim Note: ESPECIALLY from Sean…)**.

"Well… guess I'll see you around," Sean said as he turned to leave.

The front door opened.

"Hey kids!" Scott Pilgrim stood smiling in the doorway.

"Hey Dad," Lily said, her head drooping slightly from the interruption.

"Mr. Pilgrim," Sean acknowledged.

"Wow… been a while since anyone's called me that in a good way," Scott said. Then he turned to Lily. "Me and your mom have been talking, and we're making a special dinner for tomorrow night. I know you're grounded, but I managed to convince Ramona to let you have a friend over for that dinner," he said while nodding at Sean in his typical "not subtle" way.

Lily almost laughed at it, but decided she'd go ahead and follow this through. "Okay," she answered before turning to Sean. "My parents are having this dinner thing tomorrow night. Would you want to come?" she said.

Sean smiled. Then, for just a second, Lily saw him look over her shoulder at something **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Nice Dad… very subtle…)** before nodding his head. "Yes, I'd love to."

The three stood in silence for a moment. Then, Scott clapped his hands. "Then it's settled. Dinner tomorrow night. I'll just… umm… go let Rammy know," he said, backing back into the house.

"Rammy?" Lily asked, confused. **(Do you seriously call her that?)**

"Your mother," Scott stammered as he went back in the house and closed the door.

Lily looked after him for a moment, confused as to what just happened and why her dad was acting so weird. Then she turned back to Sean, who was suddenly… very… very… close.

There, in front of the Pilgrim house **(with her mother and father watching through the window… they'll never tell her though… she would die of embarrassment)**, Sean Williams kissed Lily Pilgrim. And suddenly, the world and the universe and the evil exes and whatever they were planning to do wasn't all that important to her…

Wow! Another one bites the dust, and then some kissing! Looks like things are heating up for Lily Pilgrim, in more ways than one. Some important questions though: Who's going to try and kill Lily for her father's "crimes" against Todd Ingram? What role will Sean and the rest of Lily's friends **(Little C Note: Oh… ALREADY taking a backseat, huh?)** play in the next chapter? Which of Scott Pilgrim's friends will show up in Lily's journey next? And why in the world would Scott think calling his wife "Rammy" is okay! The answers to these questions and more in the next installment of "Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World!"


	5. Chapter 4: Ingram

Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim series or any of the characters in this story. All original characters and liens belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to persons, living or dead, is completely coincidental. I do not claim responsibility for any Bugs Bunny references, so please don't judge me.

A/N: I'm starting to feel a little bit like an author of a real life series. The first few were pretty much glorified one shots. Now... it's taking me a LOT longer to write these, because of everything I'm having to keep track of. Therefore, these might slow down to the pace of one a week (I know I've been doing doubles). Also, feedback is still appreciated. Already it's starting to shape the story, which in turn, I guess, is making this everyone's story. :-) Hope you enjoy this latest chapter...

Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World

Chapter 4

Ingram

"Dad... what's a vegan?" asked Lily Pilgrim **(Age: 5, Status: Not going to bed anytime soon after this story)**.

Scott Pilgrim **(Age: 32, Status: Telling an AWESOME story)** stopped for a moment. He had told his daughter this story thousands of times before, but for the first time, she had actually asked what a vegan was.

"Well... umm..." he stammered, trying to figure out how to put such a complicated lifestyle into terms that a 5 year old **(Wearing incredibly cute Tweety Bird pajamas)** could understand. "A vegan is basically a vegetarian, but even more strict."

Blank look.

"Okay... let me see... a vegan doesn't partake of the meat, or the breast milk, or the ovum of anything with a face."

Even blanker look.

Finally, Ramona Flowers-Pilgrim **(Age: 33, Status: Glad her husband isn't a teacher)** stepped in. "A vegan doesn't eat anything that came from an animal," she stated. "They don't eat meat. They don't drink milk. They don't eat eggs."

Lily looked down at the cup of chocolate milk in her hands. "So... chocolate milk isn't vegan?"

Ramona shook her head and smiled. "No honey... it isn't vegan."

Lily considered this for a moment, and then took a drink of her milk. Obviously, she was content to not be a vegan. Meanwhile, Scott continued the story.

"Then, Todd used his psychic mind powers to throw me through a wall!" he exclaimed, flinging himself across the room. In fact, he flung himself so quickly that he stumbled and nearly jumped right out of the window **(Scott Pilgrim Note: I meant to do that)(Ramona Flowers-Pilgrim Note: Sure you did...)**.

"Why did he have mind powers?" Lily asked. She was very curious tonight.

"Because he was a vegan," Scott answered, recollecting himself.

Lily looked down at her milk again, and then set it on her bedside table. Ramona couldn't help but crack a small smile as Lily politely sat, listening to the rest of the story.

"So I stood back up, but then he just flipped me into the air. I'm pretty sure I could see the border from up there. Definitely at least my apartment," Scott said.

"The one you had with Uncle Wallace?"

"Yep," Ramona said as she playfully punched Scott in the arm. "The boy-centric hole in the wall."

"I fell back down though, and crashed into a pile of garbage. That's when your mom helped me up and I continued the fight, even though Natalie told me not to," Scott said. Ramona bristled at the mention of Natalie's name **(Ramona Flowers-Pilgrim Note: Still thinks she's a bit of a ****XXXXX****)**. "I ran toward him, but he used his powers again to throw me through the wall and back into the club."

Lily sat up, getting excited. "How did you beat him, Dad?" she pressed. She wanted him to get to her favorite part of the story.

"Well... we had a bass battle. I played as hard as I could," Scott pantomimed playing his bass. "He was really good though, and he blasted me through a few walls and into a table!" Lily gasped. "But then... I tricked him. I knew that he only had mind powers because he was vegan, so if I could get him to eat something... not vegan, he'd lose his powers. So I looked around and found two cups of coffee. While he was coming after me, I put half and half into one of the cups."

Blank stare.

"What's half and half, Dad?" Lily asked, her head cocked slightly to the side.

"It's milk," Ramona answered, diverting a long and probably ineffective explanation from Scott **(Scott Pilgrim Note: I can tell her what half and half is!)**.

"Oh," Lily said, again looking at her milk.

"I knew he could see my thoughts, so I thought REALLY hard about putting the half and half into MY cup. As soon as he drank the coffee, his eyes stopped glowing and I knew he was mine," Scott said, clinching his fist in victory. "And then..."

Lily nearly jumped out of the bed. "WHEEEEEEEEOOOOOWWW!" she yelled, doing her best imitation of a police siren. Scott and Ramona both smiled.

"Yep. The Vegan Police showed up and zapped Todd with the De-Veganizing Ray," Scott continued as he put Lily back into bed. "Then... I reared back, and I head butted him into a thousand coins!"

"Yay!" Lily yelled.

"Okay... okay... enough excitement for one night," Ramona said as she began to tuck Lily into bed. "I swear, it's more exhausting watching him tell you the stories than it was when I was living them."

"Awww Mom... can I please hear another one?" Lily pleaded.

"Maybe tomorrow night. Right now, you need sleep. You've got a big day tomorrow... both of you do," Ramona said as she looked at Scott.

"I hope I meet someone like Dad tomorrow at school," Lily proclaimed.

Ramona looked at Scott and smiled. "Yeah honey... I hope you do too."

**FAMILY DINNER**

"It's really good, sir," Sean Williams said as he ate another bit of Scott's 'Ramona Casserole.' **(Name: Sean Williams, Rating 11/10)**

The Pilgrim family sat around the table with their guest, enjoying a casserole that appeared to be noodles and cheese, served with a side of garlic bread. Lily Pilgrim **(Age: 18, Status: Not sure how she feels about her parents being present for her second 'date' with Sean)** brushed a strand of pink hair out of her face as she watched the scene unfold.

"Glad you like it, Sean. I call it 'Ramona Casserole' because it's what we ate on our second date," Scott Pilgrim **(Age: 45, Status: Done eating and ready for conversation again!)** said as he smiled at Ramona, who was seated next to him.

"Honey... I thought we were going to start calling it 'cheesy noodle casserole.' I don't want a casserole named after me," Ramona Flowers-Pilgrim **(Age: 46, Status: Curious about this boy her daughter has started dating)** said as she put a hand on his shoulder.

Sean had arrived at the house almost an hour before, dressed very well in a sweater and pair of slacks. Lily had been hoping for at least SOME alone time, but Scott and Ramona had almost immediately inundated Sean with questions. So far, Lily had unlocked the following information through her parents non-stop inquiries: Sean's favorite video game was Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past for the old SNES; he was planning on attending Nipissing University in the fall; he did not believe that the PS5 could hold a candle to old school games on the Sega Genesis; he had moved to Toronto from New York, but had in fact lived all over the United States; he thought deletion of one's Final Fantasy save file should be punishable by death; and he was top of his class, and had been in all AP classes back in New York **(Lily Pilgrim Note: All useless information... what about his favorite music? What he likes to do? ANYTHING!)**.

Now, Lily found herself still wishing for some time to find out more about Sean for herself, but her parents didn't seem to get the idea.

"So Sean... how did you and Lily meet?" Ramona asked.

Lily gulped a bite of casserole hard. If Sean mentioned Sandra Patel, she was sunk!

"Funny story actually," Sean said between mouthfuls, casting a sideways glance at Lily. "We met at a show that Tanooki Dream was doing. **(Lily Pilgrim Note: He remembers our band name… *sigh*)** They had a heckler and I took care of it, and then just saw Lily." **(LEVEL UP - - Rating: 12/10!)**

"I'd heard something about that at work… rumors of a fight?" Ramona asked, glancing at Lily, who nervously bit her lip.

"A bit of a scuffle, but no one was hurt. That kind of thing happens when you get that many people in a confined space," Sean said.

Lily relaxed a bit. The evil ex bullet had been expertly dodged by Sean, so she went back to trying to glean any kind of useful information out of her parents' dumb questions. Sean gained brownie points with the Pilgrims by getting seconds of the 'Ramona Casserole' **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Yeah… I see her point. Sounds kind of gross…)**. Finally, Sean said he needed to head home, and Lily walked with him out on to the front porch.

Sean's mood changed suddenly from cordial to serious. "Be careful in the next few days," he said in a low voice. It was definitely not what Lily was expecting to hear. A "I had fun tonight" or a "Let's do this again," maybe. Even the "I like you a lot" would have been nice. But Sean simply had a warning. "I'm trying to find out who might be coming after you next, but until I do… make sure you're never alone, okay?"

"Okay," Lily stammered. "I know the next ex in line was Todd Ingram, the vegan, so I guess I'll watch for anyone with glowing eyes and crazy hair," she almost giggled, desperate to lighten the mood.

Sean flashed a smile. "I'll keep an eye out too. Until next time…" He leaned in and kissed her, making flash bulbs go off behind her eyes. Then he walked calmly away as she stood rooted to the spot.

_Mark my words, Sean Williams… you can be all mysterious now, but I WILL find out more about you._

"What?" Sean turned around.

"Oh… nothing," Lily said as she blushed and hurried inside.

**DENIED**

Lily was sitting in the living room, after having washed the dishes from dinner. Her father had retired to the bedroom, and she could hear her mother cleaning up the dining room. She couldn't get Sean out of her head **(And really… why would she want to?)**, but she wasn't sure why. He was hot, definitely **(DEFINITELY!)**, and seemed to hit it off well with her parents, but there was something. She wasn't sure what it was, but there was something blocking her. She had realized tonight she knew very little about him, and unfortunately, her parents had blocked all her attempts to find out more with their own.

And then there was the ex situation. Could she really stay safe? Sandra Patel had attacked her in the middle of a crowd. Winifred Hailey had found her every time she stepped out of subspace. Who would be coming next, and who was to say that they would be stopped by a large group?

A commercial announcer on the television in the kitchen caught her attention for a brief moment. "Coming this weekend to the Air Canada Centre… the biggest attraction to hit Toronto since… EVER!"

Lily stood up and walked to the kitchen. She peered around the corner at the television, where an absolutely stunning blonde woman was standing on stage singing. Lily's eyes lit up. She knew who that was…

"That's right, Toronto! The time has come yet again. This weekend, come to the Air Canada Centre to see the biggest singing attraction since Britney Spears **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Britney Spears? Who is Britney Spears?)**… ENVY ADAMS!"

"Don't EVEN think about it," Ramona said from the other side of the kitchen, arms folded. "Your father might have convinced me to let you invite Sean over for dinner, but you're still grounded."

"But Mom! Dad knows her, doesn't he? He could score us CRAZY GOOD TICKETS!" _And possibly give me a clue as to who might be coming to kill me next._

"What?" Ramona said, tilting her head to the side.

"Umm… it'd be awesome for Tanooki Dream to go see a real live show from a real live musician who started right here in Toronto!" Lily tried to cram all of the charm of a puppy dog face, a gurgling baby and a purring kitten into her eyes.

"No."

Lily looked down and began to trudge back to the couch, admitting defeat. As she got there, her phone signaled a text message. She flipped it open.

**Hey Lily!**

**You BETTER have details tomorrow! Was he hot? What music does he like? DETAILS! And we NEED tix to NV! Doesn't your dad know her or something?**

**-K**

Lily sighed as she slumped onto the couch.

**EARLY PRESENT**

The next day at school was a blur of activity. People were still buzzing about Tanooki Dream's performance at Lindsey Pam's party, despite the fact that they had not played one song. Lily enjoyed all of the attention, but honestly, she just wanted to see Sean and ask him all the questions that she needed to ask.

"Well… it could have been worse," Kayla said after Lily finished her story of parental interrogation of her new boyfriend. "They could have done something embarrassing… like kiss in front of him **(Lily Pilgrim Note: God forbid!)**. My parents did that with my last boyfriend. It sounds like all they did was ask questions."

"Yeah, but I didn't get to spend any time alone with him," Lily complained **(As a side note… NEW INFO UNLOCKED: Kayla had a "last boyfriend?" I thought she liked…)**

"Alone? There'll be plenty of time to be alone with him after the Envy concert," Kayla said with a smile.

"Yeah… about that…" Lily started as they got to their lockers.

"What?" Kayla asked, her eyes narrowing.

"I'm grounded, remember?"

"What! But this is Envy Adams! Did you mention that she's just the greatest singer to ever come out of Canada? **(Note: Somewhere, Celine Dion and Shania Twain are crying)** Don't they understand that!" Kayla almost hit Lily in the head with her flailing arms.

"To be honest… I don't think Mom cares for her that much," Lily said as she put the rest of her books away.

The two girls then walked outside. It was a beautiful day in Toronto. The sun was shining. The trees were amazingly green. Most of the usual crowd had already gone home, leaving Lily and Kayla alone for a moment. Lily thought for a moment about Sean's warning, but dismissed it. It was too beautiful a day to be attacked by an ex facsimile.

Lily stopped short as she saw a short figure standing in the courtyard. It was a woman with short black hair and a business suit. Definitely not a vegan with the glowing eyes and the wild hair, but Lily approached cautiously… then recognition broke on her face.

"Aunt Knives!" she yelled.

The woman turned around and smiled. **(Name: Knives Porter, Age: 39, Status: Lily's second favorite aunt, and she's okay with that)** "My favorite niece… well… I guess technically my ONLY niece," she said with a smile.

Lily ran up and hugged her aunt as Kayla walked over. "What are you doing here?" Lily asked.

"I was just in town and figured I'd come visit. Of course, your dad is a bit… excitable, so I figured it would be safer to come see you first, so we could ease him into the idea," Knives smiled mischievously. "So… what are you girls up to?"

Kayla spoke up. "We're trying to figure out how we can get to the Envy Adams concert with Ms. 'Out Too Late' here being grounded."

Knives arched an eyebrow. "Out too late? I seem to recall your father getting into MUCH worse, and your mother… well… the destruction of a public library comes to mind."

"Mom destroyed a public library?" Lily asked.

"Not by herself," Knives added. "So you want to go to the Envy Adams concert, eh?"

"Yeah, and I bet Mr. Pilgrim could get us AWESOME tickets too," Kayla lamented.

"Oh I'm sure he could," Knives said. "Not sure how Ramona would feel about it, but I'll talk to them. See what I can do. So come on… we've got catching up to do! You have the look of a woman with a story to tell," Knives put an arm around Lily as they walked on.

**INTERVENTION**

"Hey Knives… it's so nice to see you again!" Ramona said as she opened the door. Knives walked in and the two hugged as Lily passed them to sit on the couch. "How are things in Ottawa?"

"Same as usual. Government, bureaucracy, all that jazz," Knives answered as she sat down on the couch next to Lily. "How's the delivery business?"

"Busy as always. I feel like I'm constantly on the run, and I'm not even the one making the deliveries anymore," Ramona sighed as she sat down across from Lily and Knives on an unusually large arm chair. "Scott should be home soon… he's going to be thrilled that you're here. So how long are you in town?"

"Oh, just the week. They put me up in the Delta Chelsea downtown," Knives answered.

"Ooooo… ritzy," Ramona teased.

"That's what you get for a government job."

_Silver Surfer and the Ragged Kid,_

_Are all sad and rusted…_

Lily looked at her phone. After excusing herself from the conversation and getting outside, she flipped it open.

"Hello?" she whispered.

"Lily!" The voice of Little C came from the phone. "I was just looking up stuff about Todd Ingram. I found out he was in a band at the time that your dad fought him called 'The Clash at Demonhead.' They performed at Lee's Palace over that weekend."

"Yeah, I know. Natalie was their lead singer," Lily said.

"Lily… all of the people who've attacked you so far had some kind of connection with the exes. What if she's one of them?"

"That's ridiculous, Little C," Lily scoffed **(Lily Pilgrim Note of Self Doubt: Is it?)**

"Lily… have you ever even met her?"

Lily thought back. Aunt Kim and Aunt Knives had always been a part of her life. Kim lived a few streets down, and Knives lived in Ottawa. Aunt Lisa lived in California, and had visited a few times. But to her recollection, in her 18 years of life, she had never actually MET Natalie. Her father had always told her the story, but he'd never touched on what happened to her afterwards. She just knew Natalie was a famous singer.

She wasn't sure if it was the conversation or something else, but Lily suddenly felt very exposed. "Of course… I have," she stammered, not wanting Little C to know the doubt running through her. "I might have been 5 or 6, but she's a busy woman. You know… touring and stuff."

"I just wanted to make sure you knew. And I don't think you should go to that concert this weekend. I've got a bad feeling in my gut on this one," Little C responded **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Geez… does ANYBODY want me to go to that concert?)**.

"I doubt that'll be a problem. Mom's laid down the law and said I can't go because I'm grounded. Hey… I gotta go. Aunt Knives is here," Lily said as she quickly hung up the phone. After a brief moment, she walked back into the living room, where everyone was strangely silent. She looked at Knives, who was smiling, and then her mother, who appeared annoyed if anything. "Did I miss something?"

"Knives has an early birthday present for you, Lily," Ramona said. Lily turned to her aunt.

"Yes. I actually had it all day, but I needed to talk to your mother about allowing it before I just gave it to you," Knives said. She reached into her purse and pulled out something that Lily recognized immediately: 4 tickets **(Lily Pil… ah forget it… oh my God… OH MY GOD!)**. "Your mother says you're still grounded, but she couldn't force you to turn down a gift."

Lily looked with wide eyes at both Knives and Ramona **(Name: I don't remember right now, Status: I'VE GOT TICKETS!)**. Then she sprang and hugged Knives with everything she could. "Thank you Aunt Knives!"

"Every girl needs a Clash at Demonhead," Knives whispered **(Whatever that means…)**. "Besides, I remember what it's like to have stars in your eyes."

Ramona sighed. "This is the biggest fail of a grounding ever."

**SHOWTIME**

Lily Pilgrim **(Age: 18, Status: Beyond Excited!)** walked down the street from the parking lot to the packed Air Canada Centre. Following shortly behind her were John Jacobs **(Status: Hopes record execs are sitting next to them, Fun Fact: Here with Lindsey Pam)**, Lindsey Pam and Kayla Simson **(Status: Wishes Lindsey Pam would burn in hell)**.

"This is so exciting! Envy Adams is supposed to be, like, performer of the year!" Lindsey said. Kayla shot her a look of death from the corner of her eye.

"I still wish Sean could have made it," Lily said. She had asked him if he wanted to come, but he said his family was going back to the States for business, and he needed to go with them.

"What about Little C?" John asked, his arm around Lindsey **(Kayla Simson Note: BREATHING FIRE!)**.

"He said he had to finish his biology report," Lily lied. She hadn't told him she was coming to the concert, because he had asked her not to go, and for some reason, that was a conversation she didn't want to have.

"Little C and his schoolwork," John said with a sigh.

The building was packed. Posters and banners depicting Envy Adams adorned the lobby, and a large marquee stretched over the front doors. People were bustling everywhere, and Lily felt mildly aware of someone watching her, but she was too wrapped up in getting to see Envy perform live that it didn't faze her.

"So where are our seats?" Lindsey asked.

"Fourth row, I think," Lily said as she looked at the tickets. "Aunt Knives didn't really say."

"MY aunt would have gotten us on the first row," Lindsey said with just a hint of a sneer.

"Close enough for Envy to spit on you? I'd pay to see that…" Kayla muttered. "Hell… if you want the experience, I'LL spit on you. I can do that from the fourth row."

Inside the arena, things were even crazier. People were everywhere. Lily had been here once for an ice hockey game, but it was nothing like this **(This is not an indictment on the Toronto Maple Leafs as a hockey team. They are a good team, steeped in tradition. They are simply in a "rebuilding" period)**. The stage was situated at one end of the hall, with more people milling around than she had ever seen before.

"Tickets?" an usher inquired as they walked up to him. Lily handed the tickets to him. He ran them under a scanner in his hand and it blinked red at him. Lily's heart stopped a beat. Were the tickets no good?

"Is there a problem?" she asked **(Please say no)**.

"It's odd. Apparently… these tickets have been flagged by Ms. Adams herself. She asks that you enjoy the show… Lily…" the man said, obviously confused. "You're… also clear to go backstage after the show?"

"HA! Let's see your aunt pull THAT one off, Pam!" Kayla taunted **(Status: VICTORY!)**.

"MY aunt would have gotten us a limo ride with her," Lindsey shot back.

**WHY NOW?**

Lily and the gang sat in their seats on the fourth row, looking up at the stage as technicians rushed around to make their final preparations. John sat next to Lily, his arm around Lindsey Pam. Kayla sat on the other side of Lily, seething **(Countdown to Kayla kicking Lindsey Pam's pretentious butt: Past Due)**.

"So… backstage huh?" John started. "Sounds like we've got an in. I wonder if we should tell her about Tanooki Dream."

"I'm sure she gets that kind of thing all the time," Lily said, looking around. Now that she was sitting down, she was SURE she was being watched **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Never felt more like Bugs Bunny)**. The doubts that Little C had were starting to come back, and were especially strong with the knowledge that Envy Adams had flagged their tickets and wanted to see them after the show. But Sean had said not to be alone, right? And she wasn't… right?

"I bet we'll end up on TV, being this close," Lindsey said.

The lights started to go down in the arena and the crowd erupted. Several spotlights began tracking through the crowd, and a glint caught Lily's eye. She looked in the direction of the shine, but it wasn't there. Then she saw it again, but on the other side and closer.

"How did you get those tickets anyway, Lily?" Lindsey asked.

Lily didn't answer, but Kayla took advantage of the chance to rub Lindsey's face in something. "Her dad used to date Envy Adams." **(Kayla Simson Note: YEAH! Top THAT!)**

"Obviously, he should have kept at it. Then we'd ALL be rock stars!" Lindsey said **(Kayla Simson Note: THAT'S IT!)**.

Kayla started to reach across Lily and John to smack Lindsey, but she stopped short as the announcer came on the PA system.

"Ladies and gentlemen… Canada's own… ENVYYYYYYYY ADAMS!"

The crowd erupted again, and Envy Adams, long flowing blonde hair and a gorgeous red dress, came walking out onto the stage.

"Thank you Toronto!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. At the end of her scream though, she looked directly at Lily Pilgrim. Their eyes locked. "I hope you're all here to rock tonight!"

Lily gulped. Then the glint appeared again, closer. She looked.

"Guys… I think we should get out of here…"

Everyone followed Lily's gaze and saw a middle aged woman with black hair and glasses, which were reflecting the spotlights with every pass. While everyone else was staring at the stage, she was focused intensely on Lily. Kayla thought she saw the sparkle of silver under some wrappings on her arm.

Lily looked back and forth from Envy to the strange woman, neither of whom broke their gaze from her for a second. _Great… all this attention is going to kill me…_

"What?" Lindsey asked, turning back around.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

Oh my goodness! Lily and friends made it to the Envy concert, but who is this strange woman that won't stop looking at Lily? **(Note: Seriously… if you call yourself a Scott Pilgrim fan… you know who that is, so why are you asking me?)** Is she the one out to avenge Todd, or is it Natalie "Envy" Adams herself? How did Knives get those tickets anyway? And will Lindsey Pam just shut up already? **(Kayla Simson Note: She better, before I do something about it)** The answers to these questions and more in the next installment of "Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World!"


	6. Chapter 5: Guycott

Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim series or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to persons, living or dead, is completely coincidental. Also kids, remember… always practice safety at concerts. Sure, mosh pits are cool, until someone gets hit in the face with a guitar.

A/N: Thanks to everyone reading my story. I really appreciate it. Hopefully you stay with me through the end. So… go ahead, sit back and relax, and enjoy another installment of the epic 14 part mini-series (actually, I don't know that… it's just a guesstimate), "Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World." And as always… feedback is appreciated.

Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World

Chapter 5

Guycott

Lily was frozen in fear **(Status: No really… can't move…)**. The dark haired woman in the crowd began stalking towards the group, reaching for the wrappings on her arm.

"Lily… who is that?" Kayla asked, momentarily forgetting that Lindsey was inching closer to John in fear **(Kayla Simson Note: Oh no… I see it… self preservation over love any day)**.

"I don't know," answered Lily. Her voice was shaking. The woman started to unwind the bandage on her arm, revealing a shiny bionic arm! **(Lily Pilgrim Note: I'm guessing that's not a jeweled arm piece) **She extended her hand, pointing a fist at Lily.

"I TOLD YOU IF I EVER SAW YOU AGAIN, YOU WERE DEAD, **XXXXX**!"

Suddenly, the crowd erupted as Envy Adams jumped off the stage with a guitar, swinging it downward like an axe! The woman barely managed to pull her bionic arm out of the way before the guitar swiped through the air where it had just been. Envy didn't stop though, swinging the guitar with wild abandon at the woman, who backed away, dodging each swing.

"Huh… she knows how to do that weird thing with her mouth too…" Kayla observed.

Lily was still frozen as she watched Envy try again and again to take the woman's head off with a guitar. The crowd was starting to try and press in on her though, and she wasn't able to swing as quickly without possibly hitting someone.

"Get out of my way!" she screamed as the woman finally broke into a run through the crowd, obviously giving up. In just a moment, Lily lost sight of her in the crowd. Security guards began pouring into the area, getting the rabid Toronto fans away from Envy, who stopped and turned back towards Lily.

"She's… she's looking at you again, Lily…" John stammered **(John Jacobs Status: Scared of being on the receiving end of that guitar…)**.

Envy began to slowly walk over to the group, fans still cheering her. She stopped a few steps away from them as security began to follow her.

"I've got a show to do, but you guys? You need to go backstage now. I'll be with you in a few minutes," Envy said, shaking the rest of her hair out. Strangely, the look worked for her. **(Lily Pilgrim Note: ALL looks work for her…)**

**BACKSTAGE REVELATIONS**

Lily Pilgrim **(Age: 18, Status: Frazzled, but somehow still excited)** sat on the couch in a small backstage room. Everything in the room was white, from the walls to the two opposing couches. Even the floor. It made her feel a little odd, but not so much as the security guards posted around the room and outside the door. To be honest, she felt like she was in jail or something.

"I can't believe we're backstage at an Envy Adams concert!" exclaimed Lindsey, who had seemingly forgotten all about the incident with the strange woman.

"Lily… you okay?" asked Kayla.

"Yeah… did Natalie Adams just save our lives?" Lily spoke evenly, trying to keep the shakiness out of her voice.

"I don't know. Why would that woman want to kill us?" John asked.

"Because your father killed my ex-boyfriend and now deceased douche bag Todd Ingram," answered Envy Adams, who had suddenly appeared in the doorway, dressed in an even more spectacularly sexy dress than the one they had seen her in earlier **(John Jacobs Note: Wow… just… wow)** **(Kayla Simson Note: Oh… that's… nice?)**.

Lindsey was the first to react. She jumped off the couch and screamed toward Envy. "OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH!" Thankfully, security guards stepped in and restrained her, carrying her back to the couch **(Kayla Simson Note: Why don't you rough her up a bit? Just a little bit? C'mon…)**.

Envy looked at Lindsey with what Lily thought was a small smile, but when she turned back, it was gone. "Lily Pilgrim, right?" **(Lily Pilgrim Note: She knows my name… a famous person knows my name…)**

"Y… yeah?" Lily… asked? **(Wow… that's a confusing thing to write)**

Envy was confused too. "Are you asking me or telling me?"

"Yes… Ms. Adams," Lily quickly amended.

"Call me Natalie. Every Pilgrim does," Envy said, walking over and sitting on a couch across from the group.

"It's so nice to meet you, Natalie," John ventured. Envy's head snapped toward him.

"YOU… call me Envy. I'll only tolerate that from a Pilgrim," Natalie snapped **(Envy Adams Note: What did I JUST SAY! Rule applies to you too Narrator Boy!)**.

"Yes ma'am," John sunk back down in his seat.

Lily finally found her voice. "Natalie… who was that woman?"

"That hag was my former best friend and drummer, Lynette Guycott," Nat… I mean Envy seethed **(Envy Adams Note: That's what I thought…)**.

"Former?" Kayla said.

"Yeah. About the time your mom and dad started dating, we came back for a show in Toronto ," Envy said, turning back to Lily. "I was dating Todd, but it turned out, he was cheating on me with Lynette. So… obviously, the band broke up."

"I thought the band broke up because there wasn't a bass player after Dad killed him," Lily said.

"Well… that didn't HELP matters," Envy said with a bit of a smile again. "Neither did the fact that I took Lynette's arm off with a big hammer."

"So that's why she has a bionic arm?" Lily asked.

"Well… no," Envy explained. "I don't know why she had a bionic arm. Something involving alligators. I took off her bionic arm with that hammer, but apparently, someone's given her a new one, and THAT'S kind of what I needed to talk to you about."

"What?" Lily was beyond confused.

"Let me guess… random crazy people have started showing up and trying to kill you, right?" Envy leaned forward, tilting her head to the side.

"What? No!" Lily couldn't tell anyone. **(Yes) **It might get back to her parents.

"Don't worry, Lily. I haven't spoken to your parents in a very long time. I don't really plan on dropping in on them and telling them about the crazy people coming to kill their daughter… that is, if you don't want me to."

"How did you…" Lily started. _Am I doing that inner monologue thing again?_

"You're not… well… you weren't," Envy said. "I just know things like that. After all… I'm famous."

"Well… if you could… not tell them, that'd be nice," Lily said.

"I won't."

"One more thing," Kayla started. "If you haven't talked to Mr. or Mrs. Pilgrim in years… how did you even know they had a daughter?"

"Well, for one thing, once Scott learned how to use Twitter, he puts EVERYTHING on there," Envy said as she leaned back. "For instance, I can tell you that he ate a cheese sandwich approximately 3 minutes ago." **(Scott Pilgrim Tweet: That was the greatest cheese sandwich EVER!)**

"And?" Lily prompted.

"What I needed to talk to you about," Envy answered. "A few weeks ago, my publicist said she got an e-mail asking if I wanted to get revenge on Scott Pilgrim for killing my ex-boyfriend. Of course, I don't… it might have been the best thing that could have happened to me. But I glanced at it, and saw that it was sent to quite a few people, including Lynette."

"Who sent it?" John asked.

Envy looked at each of them in turn before speaking. "G. Graves."

"Gideon?" Lily asked. "I thought Dad killed him!"

"He did. I saw it. I was there," Envy said. **(Lily Pilgrim Note: He never said anything about you being there…)** "Still, someone's got these people coming together after you. The e-mail said something about everyone attacking you, so I put an impromptu stop on my tour here in Toronto . Then, I sent the tickets to the governor's publicist, because I knew she would give you the tickets." **(Envy Adams Note: That's right kids… become famous, and you'll be able to make convoluted plans with the best of them)**

"Aunt Knives!" Lily exclaimed.

"Yeah. Also, I still felt kind of bad for having Lynette punch her in the face when she was dating Young Neil," Envy said with a shrug.

"Wait… Young Neil?"

"Yeah… Neil Nordegraf."

"Oh… so… Uncle Neil? Aunt Knives dated Uncle Neil?"

"Of course. Your father's friends were definitely an inbreeding bunch, that's for sure," Envy answered, rolling her eyes.

"So… what now?" Lily asked.

"I'd say Lynette isn't done, but I've done all I can. Tour packs up and heads for Montreal tomorrow," Envy said, standing up. "Whoever this G. Graves is, I'm sure you'll beat him. After all… you're a Pilgrim." As she walked out the door, she tossed her hair and looked back at Lily. "See ya next time."

**QUESTIONS**

Lily sat on her bed, looking down at the floor. For the first time, she wasn't entirely sure she could pull this off. As long as she was just fighting proxies, it felt alright, but apparently, the man behind it all was the same man who had been behind it when her father had done it. Gideon Graves. Lily didn't want to fight him. She just wanted this all to be over.

"Wow. I leave you alone for a day and you bring down the house at an Envy Adams concert," Sean Williams suddenly said from the window sill.

Lily nearly jumped out of her skin. Sean shushed her as he quietly slipped through the window from the tree outside.

"Sean! What are you doing here?" Lily whispered **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Romantic… but stalker-ish?)**.

"I heard about the concert. It was all over the news. 'Envy Adams attacks crazed fan at Toronto show," Sean said. "Figured there was only one woman that could incite that kind of anger in Envy, and she was going to be someone that might attack you too."

"Yeah… it was Lynette Guycott," Lily said, sitting down on her bed. Sean came and sat next to her.

"Lynette Guycott? That's not good," Sean lamented. "They're getting stronger… it's like some sick video game. So I'm guessing you saw the bionic arm?"

"Not in action, thank goodness. Natalie stopped her before she used it," Lily shuddered, remembering the paralyzing fear that had almost held her in place for her destruction.

"That's pretty much her main weapon," Sean said grimly. "She doesn't have to close distance… she can just punch you from anywhere." **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Really? Superpowers? Do I get anything? Or do I have to fight the X-Men with nothing but a hair dryer?)**

Sean stood up, apparently getting ready to go, but Lily grabbed his hand and pulled him back down.

"Oh no… I may be a marked girl, doomed to be pursued by an execution squad forever, but at least you're going to stay and answer some questions for me."

Sean looked confused. "Questions?"

"Yeah. I barely know you Sean, and if this is going to work… I've got to know more," Lily pleaded.

Sean appeared lost in thought for a moment. Then he squared himself to Lily and appeared to set himself, as though he was about to be attacked by a linebacker. "Alright… shoot."

"Umm… how did you learn how to fight with that… sword… thingy?" Lily asked.

"Took fencing classes all the way from 5th grade up," Sean said with a smile.

"And where did you GET that sword?"

"Family heirloom, technically," Sean said as he took the small metallic ball out of his pocket. It flashed to life as he pushed a button. "It was invented by a great man who lived a long time ago."

"Your grandfather?" **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Did they HAVE flashy… sword thingies back then?)**

"Okay… maybe not THAT long ago," Sean said with a smile.

"So who was it?"

"Well… my family's a little… odd. I guess you would consider him an "uncle."

"Real or friend?" Lily asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I have 'real' uncles like Uncle Neil and Uncle Lawrence, and then I have uncles that were really just Dad's close friends, like Uncle Wallace and Uncle Stephen," Lily explained.

"Oh. I guess then I'd be talking about a 'real' uncle," Sean said. "Your family fascinates me, Lily. Friends so close they're family? I never had that." **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Awwwww….)** "So have I answered enough questions to convince you I'm NOT an evil stalker?"

"I guess," Lily said playfully. "But… I'll have more questions next time."

"If that's what I have to do," Sean said with a smile before he kissed Lily, and her head swam yet again. **(Lily Pilgrim Note: ….)**

**FINALLY… MORE BAND ACTION!**

"Lily… would you forget whatever you're thinking about and play?" John said. "You only played one beat of that song, and I'm pretty sure it was off!"

Lily woke with a start. She had been daydreaming, and had gone on auto pilot. Obviously, she wasn't as good of a drummer in her sleep as she was awake. "Oh… I'm sorry,"

"It's alright," John said **(He really doesn't think that)**. "It's just… we've got another gig tomorrow and we really need to impress on this one!"

"We'll be fine, John," Kayla said, resting her hands on her keyboard. "Don't be such a diva." **(Kayla Simson Note: I LOVE it when he takes charge like that…)**

Lily looked at Kayla and then at Little C, who had been doing a very good job at completely ignoring her for the entire practice. She shook her head. No… he wasn't ignoring her… he was just thinking. **(Lily Pilgrim Status: Mildly delusional)**

"Alright… so let's go again!"

A few minutes **(Lily Pilgrim Note: And one AWESOME song)** later, the band was packing up and getting ready to move the equipment from John's home studio **(Read: It's a garage)** to the gig. They had been contacted to play at a church picnic, and before anyone thought to mention that their music didn't really match the event that well, John had said yes.

Lily sat at her drums, still thinking, when Little C walked up.

"So… how was the concert?" he asked.

"Not so great," Lily said, biting her lip. "We got… attacked again."

"I'm gonna skip the 'I told you so,' if you don't mind," Little C said, a hint of a smile on his face. Lily really liked that smile…

"Thanks."

"So… did he tell you about the teleporting?" Little C said.

"Teleporting?" Lily asked, confused. **(Lily Pilgrim Note: He can teleport too? What can't the man do?)**

"Lynette Guycott… the woman who attacked you. She teleports," Little C said, a scowl growing on his face.

"Oh… no… he didn't. I guess he must have forgotten," Lily said, taking a cymbal off of its stand.

"I'd think that'd be kind of important information," Little C said. He followed Lily as she put the cymbal into a case. "I mean… if you were MY girlfriend, I'd be trying to make sure you knew EVERYTHING about what you were dealing with."

"Look… maybe I don't want to talk about these exes all the time," Lily said as she turned back to Little C. "I mean… there are more important things I need to think about right now."

"Like Sean's eyes?" Little C said coolly. "Lily… you can't run from these problems. They're real, and they're trying to kill you, and I really don't wanna see that happen."

"Don't worry, Little C," Lily tried to reassure him. "When I beat the rest of these guys, everything will go back to normal. I promise."

**CHURCH PARTY!**

The crowd at the church picnic was much larger than Lily had anticipated. Apparently, word had gotten out about Tanooki Dream's possible link to Envy Adams **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Who in the world told everyone about that?)**, and so the crowd to see them was much larger than any they had played in front of before, and it was starting to get to John Jacobs, who was pacing around on the small stage.

"What are we gonna do?" John asked to no one in particular **(Name: John Jacobs, Status: Having a Nervous Breakdown)**.

Kayla could take no more. She walked over from the keyboards and smacked John in the head. "Would you relax!" she said as John rubbed his face. "You're starting to make me motion sick."

John stopped pacing, but then took to rubbing his hands together nervously. Meanwhile, Lily was finishing setting up the drums behind them when she saw someone out in the crowd that made her heart skip.

"Mom? DAD?"

Indeed, Scott Pilgrim **(Age: 45, Status: Ready to hear his daughter rock out) **and Ramona Flowers-Pilgrim **(Age: 46, Status: Here to make sure Scott doesn't get into any trouble, or embarrass Lily)** were seated on a small patch of grass about 20 yards from the stage.

"Wow… your parents are here?" Little C asked as he plugged in his bass.

Lily immediately jumped off the stage and waded through the crowd. When she got to her parents' spot, they smiled and waved at her.

"Hey Lily! This is shaping up to be a pretty nice gig," Scott said with a smile.

"Dad? What are you guys doing here?" Lily asked as she nervously looked around. She remembered what happened the last time Tanooki Dream took the stage.

"Relax honey… if Sean shows up, he won't know we're here. We just figured, since we don't usually go to your concerts because they're at parties and school and such, we should take advantage of the fact you're playing somewhere we wouldn't stand out," Ramona said.

"But… but…"

"Lily! Nice to see you again," Knives walked up to the spot and sat down next to Scott. Lily thought she saw her mother glance at the distance between the two very quickly, but it was only an instant, so she figured she must have imagined it. "Did you enjoy the concert? I heard there was a problem, but that Envy rocked it out!"

"You're here too?" Lily asked, incredulous. This was rapidly getting out of hand.

"Of course I am. You know… I have quite an eye for spotting talent. I loved Sex Bob-Bomb BEFORE they had an album."

"Album?" **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Dad had an album?)**

"Eh… it was your Uncle Stephen's thing," said Scott.

"There's my favorite drum student!"

Lily closed her eyes. As she opened them again, her aunt Kim was standing in front of her.

"You too?"

"Don't worry… I used to get nervous too. It'll pass," Kim said as she looked at Lily. Then she looked at John, who had begun pacing on stage again despite Kayla's screams. "Him though? You might wanna check on that."

Lily felt herself go numb. She had played dozens of gigs with Tanooki Dream, but this was different. Now, not only did she have to worry that some crazed bionic lunatic was going to come out of the crowd and kill her… but now… her family was here.

"You should really go finish getting ready honey. We'll be cheering you on from right here," Ramona said, snapping Lily back to the present.

"Yeah… knock 'em dead," said Kim. "Actually… no. Don't do that. There used to be a band that did, and they weren't very successful."

Lily didn't even feel herself walk back to the stage and sit behind her drums.

"Lily… count us in!" she heard John say. But she didn't.

"Lily?" Kayla echoed from her other side.

"Lily… you can do this," Little C said from right next to her.

Lily took a deep breath… looked out into the crowd, which now included a large chunk of her family… raised her sticks to the heavens and took a deep breath…

"WE ARE TANOOKI DREAM! ONE TWO THREE FOUR!"

**ROUND 2**

Before John could even strike the first guitar chord, something hard and fast bashed directly into his face, sending him flying! He landed in a heap on the other side of the stage as the crowd, at first excited, now started fleeing from the scene. Kayla nearly pushed over the keyboard rushing to John's side as Lily looked down at her drums. She knew what was happening. She didn't have to look.

"LILY PILGRIM!" yelled a voice from off to her right.

Lily looked up. There, standing still amongst the running people, was Lynette Guycott **(Name: Lynette Guycott, Status: Did the whole 'blending like a ninja' thing… now ready to kick butt like one!)**. The wrappings were off her arm as she popped the knuckles on her bionic hand **(Lily Pilgrim Note: I mean… if her arm is bionic, shouldn't her hand be too? Or did the doctors somehow save her hand, but not her arm? I'm so confused…)**.

"Nothing to hide behind now, Pilgrim," Lynette growled as she started walking onto the stage.

"What do you want?" Lily now stood up at her drum set, wielding her drum sticks like weapons.

"To make your family pay for breaking up the Clash!" Lynette punched toward Lily, and her arm extended unbelievably fast, smashing the drum set as Lily flipped out of the way and into the main area of the stage.

"Wait… what?" Lily said. "I thought you wanted revenge for Dad killing Todd Ingram."

"Why would I want that? Todd was just a fling!" Again Lynette sent her fist flying at Lily, but again, it was off target. "But Envy's famous now… and I would be too if we were still in a band together!" Another punch. Lily tried to get out of the way, but this one caught her in the shoulder, spinning her around. She caught sight of Lynette disappearing in a haze, and then reappearing much closer before catching her in the face with another punch that sent her flying into the drum set.

_CRASH!_

"You… you…" Lily stammered, trying to clear her head as she slowly pulled herself out of her wrecked drum set.

"Give up yet?" Lynette smiled as she cracked her knuckles again.

"Does it matter?" Lily answered.

"No."

Lynette wound up for another punch, but was suddenly hit from behind by a microphone stand! She flew into one of the poles holding up the lighting rig, knocking it out. The rig shook as its weight was suddenly supported by three poles instead of four.

"What the hell!" Lynette turned around as Kayla smacked her in the face with the mic stand again!

"THAT'S for ruining our gig!" Kayla screamed **(Kayla Simson Note: Enjoying the heck out of this outlet for female aggression. Maybe she should get into MMA or something)**. "And this… THIS IS FOR PUNCHING JOHN!" She raised the mic stand high in the air, intending to bring it down on Lynette, but at the last moment, Guycott phased out of existence, phasing back in to the right and catching Kayla in the side of the head with a bionic punch! Kayla sailed through the air and hit another of the poles, knocking it out as well.

Lily looked at Kayla for a moment, and then the shuddering of the lighting rig above them caught her attention. She saw Little C off to the side and yelled at him. "C! I've got an idea! Go knock that pole out with your guitar!" she gestured to one of the remaining poles.

Little C shook his head. "My mom bought this guitar for me!"

Lily was already on the move, dodging another punch from Lynette. She cart wheeled out of the way of a second before jumping behind the drum set again. "I'm sure she'll understand!" she yelled at Little C **(She won't)**.

Lily waited for a moment and jumped out from behind the drum set… to see her aunt Knives and mother fighting with Lynette! **(Lily Pilgrim Note: That would be kind of cool if it wasn't almost EXACTLY what I wanted to avoid)**

"MOM!" Lily called as she headed towards the last pole.

"I know what you're doing honey! Keep at it!" Ramona screamed **(Name: Ramona Flowers-Pilgrim, Status: Hasn't done this in years, and starting to run out of energy)**.

Lily quickly jumped over a broken piece of wood and landed in front of the last pole. She heard the structure shudder again as Little C chopped the other pole with his guitar. It was starting to come down…

"ENOUGH OF THIS!" Lynette shoved Ramona and Knives both away from her, venom in her eyes. She turned towards Lily, and without even thinking, threw a punch across the stage.

Exactly what Lily had been waiting for.

Lily dodged out of the way, leaving the punch to hit nothing but the final pole. The impact bent the pole outwards, and the weight of the lighting rig did the rest. As Little C and Lily both dove off the stage to safety, Lynette looked up at the rig coming down on top of her. There was no time to teleport. No time to even scream.

_**CRASH!**_

**DISCOVERIES**

After the crowd has dispersed, and everyone had been checked out by medical staff, Lily sat on the ground with her parents.

"So… yeah," Lily started.

"Let me guess," Ramona cut her off. "The fight at Lindsey Pam's party that I heard about was a fight between you and someone wanting to avenge Matthew Patel's death."

"Yeah."

"And then when you were late to your curfew, it was because someone had attacked you for what we did to Lucas Lee."

"Kind of… wait… what YOU did?" Lily looked at her mother in confusion.

"Never mind," Ramona said quickly. "And now Lynette just attacked you for what Scott did to Todd."

"Actually, she was pretty mad about what he did to Clash at Demonhead," Lily admitted.

Everyone was silent for a moment, looking at the crews sorting through the wreckage of a stage. The sun was starting to set.

"So… am I in trouble?" Lily asked.

"Yes, but not from us," Ramona sighed.

"Besides, that was REALLY awesome! You fought like I knew you always could, Lily!" Scott exclaimed. Lily smiled a little bit, but then looked at her mother, who was still very serious.

"I was hoping that my past was done hurting people. I suffered through it every time it came after your father," Ramona said. "I hate the fact that it's coming after you now."

"I can handle it Mom. I've got friends to support me just like you did to support you," Lily said, looking at Little C, John and Kayla. John's eye was swollen, and Kayla looked a little worse for wear, but the smile on Little C's face was all the reassurance she needed.

"Don't forget us. Wow… that was quite a workout," laughed Knives, who plopped down on the ground next to Ramona. "Haven't fought like that since you and me…" she stopped as Ramona elbowed her in the ribs. Lily looked at them for a moment. "Since… we… took that Tae-Bo class. Remember that?"

"I do," Ramona said with a smile.

Lily turned to her aunt Kim, who apparently had not moved during the whole thing. "Where were you, Aunt Kim?"

"Are you kidding me?" Kim said with a wry look on her face. "I'm a lover… not a fighter."

Lily couldn't understand why her family thought that was so funny.

A long way away, a shadowy man sat under a tree. He watched the Pilgrim family celebrating their victory and scoffed. Then he got up, flipping open his cell phone, and walked away.

"So Jeff… about that girl I told you about…"

Another one comes up, and another one goes down, but things are definitely getting more serious. Is the real Gideon Graves behind all of this madness? And if not, why on earth would someone want to impersonate him? And who is Jeff? Have we seen the last of Nat… "Envy" Adams ? Did Ramona and Knives really take a Tae-Bo class together? **(Lily Pilgrim Note: I'm guessing not…) **And is it just me, or are there more and more questions at the end of these chapters? The answers to these and more in the next installment of "Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World!"


	7. Chapter 6: Richter

Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim series or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to persons, living or dead, is completely coincidental. Also, working in a video store is much more fun than it is portrayed here. I should know… I worked at Blockbuster for almost 2 years. It was awesome… but I digress…

A/N: The feedback has been good. I'm loving the fact that so many people are liking this little yarn I'm spinning. So, if you've favorited (is that even a word?) my story, or even just set up those trusty alerts (they ARE much better than just surfing the site every day hoping for an update like I used to do), thank you, and I hope I can keep you entertained in the future. In the meantime… let's get back to the real reason you're here… finding out what happens to our intrepid heroine next!

Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World

Chapter 6

Richter

*Game Show Music*

Real quick… before we get into the story, let's have a bit of a refresher course. See if YOU can answer these simple questions!

Who is the heroine of our story? Is it… Kim Pine? Lily Pilgrim? Julie Powers? Kayla Simson? If you guessed Lily Pilgrim, you're right! Lily Pilgrim has been fighting off proxies of her mother's evil ex-boyfriends. So far, she's gotten about halfway through, but they're getting tougher, and her life is getting more and more mixed up because of them!

What about Sean Williams? Who is he? If you guessed that he's Lily's love interest, you'd be right. Still… he's been awful mysterious, and he seems to share some characteristics of another person in the Scott Pilgrim universe **(or is it multiverse? Guess it depends on your scientific views). **Could spell trouble...

And the bandmates? Kayla Simson **(keyboardist/vocalist),** John Jacobs **(lead guitar)** and Little C **(bass guitar… real name unknown)** stand by Lily as she fights her battles, but what are they collectively called? *ding* That's right… Tanooki Dream! Which brings up the question… what the heck is a "Tanooki?"

As for the family of Lily… well… you know them already. If you didn't, it's doubtful you'd be reading this in the first place. So… without further ado, let's travel back about 11 years and find Lily Pilgrim and her parents, the apparently famous **(according to Sean)** Scott and Ramona, at Scott's place of employment, the Happy Avocado…

*Cue Flashback Music*

Lily Pilgrim **(Age: 7, Status: Enjoying Her Chocolate Ice Cream)** sat alongside her mother and father, eating a cup of chocolate ice cream **(See… told ya)**. The Happy Avocado didn't really serve ice cream, but Scott had called in a favor to get some for his daughter.

"Guess I don't have to ask how you're liking your ice cream," Ramona Flowers-Pilgrim **(Age: 35, Status: Eating mocha ice cream and enjoying it, but also pausing between bites)** smiled as her daughter continued to eat. Lily made no effort at a response. She was eating ice cream. She was in the zone **(The ice cream zone… wasn't that a level in Sonic the Hedgehog?)**.

"So… why haven't you told me the story of ex number four, Daddy?" Lily finally paused between bites and looked with curiosity at her father. Scott's eyes were suddenly the size of saucers. Ramona and Scott **(Status: Mentally scrambling)** looked at each other for a moment, and then Scott took a deep breath.

"The fourth ex was… different, honey," Scott said.

"How?" Lily asked.

"Well honey… the fourth ex… was a girl," Ramona stammered.

"A girl? But I thought they all dated you, Mom," Lily said, her eyes getting wider.

"Well… the fourth ex was different. She wasn't really an ex-boyfriend, obviously," Scott said. "She was more… a friend of your mom's that was really mad when your mom started hanging out with me so much and couldn't play with her." **(Ramona Flowers-Pilgrim Note: Smooth… and a little weird sounding…)**

"But… why were they called the League of Evil Exes if she wasn't one of Mom's exes?" Lily asked, thoroughly confused.

Ramona took Scott's story and ran with it. "They couldn't call it the 'League of Evil Exes and One Former Friend.' That's a mouthful," she said.

"So what happened?" asked Lily.

"Well… it was really quick after I fought Todd. We were at this party and… well… that's when she attacked. Your mom's fourth evil… former friend… Roxie Richter," Scott started going into story mode, standing up from the table to act out things. The employees of the Happy Avocado groaned in unison. "She came out of nowhere and smashed my head into the table we were sitting at."

"That's not fair," Lily condemned.

"It really wasn't," Scott said. "It also wasn't fair because I don't hit girls. And you shouldn't either Lily… never hit a girl."

Ramona stopped him. "Honey… she IS a girl. It's okay for girls to hit girls sometimes." **(Only if ABSOLUTELY necessary though. Don't just go hitting girls for no reason. That will get you arrested)**

"Oh. Right," Scott said. "Anyway… she was gonna beat the tar out of me, but then… your mom saved the day!"

"How did she do that?" Lily asked, her mind now a thousand miles away from her rapidly melting ice cream.

"I apologized and she left on her own," Ramona spit out before Scott could continue. "She was really understanding of the whole thing once we explained it to her. She just still didn't want to be friends with me while I was with Scott, so she left, and we haven't seen her since."

Lily looked back and forth between her parents. "That's it? No coins? No 'poom?"

Scott looked at Ramona, who shook her head. "Nope. See why it was such a boring story and we didn't bring it up before? Now, how bout I tell you the story of the Katayanagi Twins again? You see, we were in this Battle of the Bands thing…"

Lily narrowed her eyes, but in a few moments, she was lost in the story of magical dragons fighting yetis…

**JOB HUNTING**

Lily Pilgrim **(Age: 18, Status: Woefully unemployed and broke)** stood in the middle of the store, staring at a new drum set. It was shiny and red, with double bass pedals and an extra high hat. It was 1000 dollars. That was approximately… 998.12 out of Lily's price range.

"What are we gonna do?" John asked from behind her. "What if someone asks us to play and we can't because that Lynette woman busted up the drums?"

"Seriously, you have GOT to calm down," Kayla grabbed John by the shoulder. "Don't worry… we'll just… have to save up?" **(Lily Pilgrim Calculation Note: 1000 dollar drum set divided by 15 dollar weekly allowance equals WAY TOO LONG! Prospects for babysitting gigs: Minimal)**

Lily sighed and dropped her head.

As the three left the music store, a man followed quickly after, taking care to stay in the shadows.

"So… any updates on the evil ex front?" Kayla asked as the three walked down the sidewalk.

"How can you think of that when our gig taking ability is in jeopardy?" John exclaimed. Kayla smacked him in the back of the head **(Kayla Simson Note: Lovingly…)**.

"Priorities man!" she yelled. "If our drummer is dead… she's a LITTLE harder to replace than broken drums."

"Thanks Kay," Lily said, half sarcastically. Then, her eyes lit upon something. Something wonderful. Something that was the answer to all of their problems.

A 'Help Wanted' sign, sitting on the window sill of No Account Video.

Lily hurried in, not bothering to wait for Kayla and John, who were now bickering in front of the store. Sitting behind the desk was a middle aged dark haired woman **(Name: Unknown, Age: Guessing somewhere close to Aunt Kim's?)** who looked incredibly bored.

"Hello… how may I help you?" she monotoned.

"Umm… I'm here about the job opening?" Lily said.

The woman's eyes lit up. "You… you want the job? Cause I'll give it to you right now!"

"Okay. Yeah… I want the job," Lily smiled.

"Great. My name's Hollie," the woman said **(NEW INFO UNLOCKED: Name: Hollie… something)**. "What's your name, new girl?"

"Lily Pilgrim."

"Pilgrim?" Hollie said. "I remember that name. Are your parents Scott and Ramona?"

"Yeah…"

"Great. I was always a big fan of them. They found the love we all really look for," Hollie said, a bit wistfully. Then she snapped out of it. "So can you start tomorrow? I need some time to get the paperwork together."

"Sure!" Lily said as she pumped a fist at her side. **(NEW QUEST UNLOCKED: Go to work tomorrow at No Account Video!)**

Kayla stifled a laugh from behind Lily, who spun around to see her friends standing in the door. "Wow… you really ARE just like your dad, aren't you?"

"Shut up."

**SURPRISE**

Lily bounded up the steps of her family's suburban Toronto home. As she opened the front door, she found her mother sorting mail in the dining room.

"Hey, honey," Ramona smiled **(Name: Ramona Flowers-Pilgrim, Status: Doing the motherly thing… she never thought she'd do that…)**.

"Hey Mom! I've got awesome news!" Lily could barely contain her excitement. "I GOT A JOB!"

"Wow!" Ramona exclaimed **(Ramona Flowers-Pilgrim Note: SO glad you got your work ethic from me and not your father… forget I said that)**. "Where at? When do you start?"

"I start tomorrow at No Account Video," Lily said proudly. Ramona stifled a laugh. "What?" Lily asked.

"Oh… I just know someone that's either going to really like that, or really hate it, and I'm anxious to see which one it is," Ramona snickered.

"Who? Dad?" Lily asked.

"No. He'll be happy for you," Ramona said. "Maybe you can see about getting that ban lifted on him."

"Ban?"

"It's a long story," Ramona added. "Anyway, I have some good news too."

"You do?" Lily asked **(Lily Pilgrim Note: What could be better than me getting a job and being able to afford a new drum set in a few short weeks?)**.

"Yep. We're going to have another visitor," Ramona said.

"Who?"

"Your Aunt Lisa," Ramona smiled.

"AUNT LISA'S COMING HERE?" Lily exclaimed **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Okay… that might be better)**.

"Yes she is. Apparently they're filming here at Casa Loma this week," Ramona said. "She's coming a few days early so she can hang out with us before the shoot."

Lily sat down at the table. There was so much happening, it was starting to get overwhelming.

"So where's Sean been? I noticed he wasn't at the concert last week," Ramona sat down across the table from Lily.

"I don't know. He said he had something to do with his parents," Lily said, her mood coming down a little bit. "How much did you know about Dad when you started dating?"

Ramona sighed. "To be honest… not a lot. I'd just moved here from New York, and your father came and talked to me at a party that Julie was throwing. He asked me about my shoes."

"Your shoes?" Lily asked.

"Yeah. Don't let him fool you with his story of how he knew why Pac-Man was named Pac-Man. He didn't actually know that until a few years ago when they had it on Yahoo," Ramona said with another smile. "No… he asked me about my shoes and then I left. Next time I saw him, I was delivering a package to his front door, and he tricked me into going out with him."

"He tricked you? Dad?" Lily wasn't sure they were talking about the same person.

"He did. Lots of people say your father isn't all THAT intelligent, but he's pretty determined when he wants something, and he's pretty smart when he's determined," Ramona said. "The point is… you start dating without knowing much at all about the other person. It's through dating, and seeing how they meet the challenges in front of them, that tells you a person's true nature."

"You're talking about how Dad fought for you, against the Evil Exes."

"Yes and no. I watched him fight everyone, and that was kind of romantic, but more than that… I watched him get his first _real _job and grow up in other ways too, and THAT'S why I fell in love with him."

At that moment, Scott burst into the front door. "LILY!"

Lily turned around in her chair as Ramona smiled and shook her head. "What, Dad?"

"I just heard from your Aunt Stacey, who heard from your Uncle Wallace that you have a JOB NOW?" Scott exclaimed **(Scott Pilgrim Note: Epic Daughter Win)**.

"Wait, what?" Lily said, confused. "How did Uncle Wallace know?"

Ramona looked up. "Just don't question it."

**FREE AT LAST**

That night, the Pilgrims ate dinner and Lily filled her father in on everything that had happened. After he had begged her to lift the ban on him at No Account Video **(She made no promises, but said she'd look into it)**, Scott had leaned back in his chair.

"Well… I'd say this is cause for celebration. Lily… you acted responsibly today, so I believe that cancels out an act of irresponsibility," he said.

"Really?" Lily asked.

"Very words I live by," Scott smiled. "So… I'm hereby ending your grounding. You can go out any night you want now, as long as you're in by your curfew."

Lily looked at Ramona for confirmation. "Hey… don't look at me," she said. "This has been a disaster of a grounding anyway, so we might as well just give it up."

Lily jumped up and hugged her father. "Thank you!" she exclaimed, almost as she ran to the stairs and whipped out her phone. Ramona and Scott could hear her busily typing out a text message.

"Where did she learn how to text like that?" Scott asked.

"Do you even have to ask?" Ramona nudged him.

Lily was all the way to the door of her room when her phone buzzed an answer to her text:

_**That's so awesome! We HAVE to celebrate! I'll grab the guys and meet you at Pizza Pizza in 20.**_

_**-K**_

Lily snapped the phone shut. Kayla was right. It WAS a time to celebrate.

**PIZZA CONFLICT**

"So… you're going to work at No Account? That's awesome," Little C said as he took another bite of his pizza. He was seated next to Lily, and both of them were across from John and Kayla **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Are they sitting closer together than usual? Or am I imagining that?)**.

"Yep… I start tomorrow," Lily answered as she took a bit of her own pizza.

"How long until you can buy the new drums?" John asked. Kayla almost immediately smacked him in the back of the head.

"Can you stop thinking about the band for one second and just be happy for our friend?" Kayla growled. "She's been under lock and key for the last week and a half, and now not only does she have a job, but she's FREE!"

"Good to know," Sean said from behind Lily's shoulder. She jumped at the sound of his voice, but it was a… pleasant jump **(Name: Sean Williams, Rating: 13/10 and rising)**.

Little C immediately stared at his pizza, not looking toward Lily at all. Lily, meanwhile, turned in her seat to face Sean.

"Hey. What are you up to?" she asked.

"Just wondering where my invitation to the party was," Sean said with a hint of a smile **(Little C Note: You weren't invited…)**.

"You get your OWN party later on. Remember? I still have questions for you," Lily said.

"Another time maybe," Sean said, his mood getting a little more somber. "Right now though, I need to talk to you." He looked at everyone else at the table. "Alone."

"Hey man… anything you need to say to Lily, you can say in front of all of us," Little C said.

"I'm afraid not, but this'll only take a second," Sean said, but the sweetness in his voice wasn't conveyed by the look he was giving Little C.

"It's okay… c'mon, let's go outside," Lily said, sensing a bit of tension.

Lily got up from the table and followed Sean to the door. He opened it for her and allowed her to pass through before following her out onto the street. When they were outside, he turned her around.

"I found who's coming for you next. It's a guy by the name of Jeff Barry. Ring any bells?" he said, keeping his voice low.

"No, but the next ex isn't even one I know a lot about. It's Roxie Richter. So… are we talking brother or something?" Lily answered.

"I think they were closer than that," Sean said. "You might want to talk to your parents about Roxie. Any clues they can give you into her lifestyle might help us figure out who this guy is and how dangerous he might be."

"How do you know all of this?" Lily asked, finally remembering one of the primary questions she had wanted to know from the beginning. "I mean… you were there when Sandra attacked. You were there when Winifred attacked. You told me all kinds of info on Lynette."

"I have my ways," Sean said with a smile **(Lily Pilgrim Note: OH that smile…)**. "I just want to make sure you make it though the end of this. I care about you, Lily Pilgrim. Promise me you'll talk to your parents about Roxie."

"I can't tonight… I've gotta get some rest, cause I start my new job tomorrow," Lily said. "Day 1 of being 'responsible adult Lily."

Sean kissed her, which of course, sent her reeling **(Lily Pilgrim Note: I hope it never doesn't… wait… that's a double negative…)**. "Then as soon as possible. And we'll have that party soon. I'm dying to answer more questions to convince you I'm not an evil stalker," he said with a wink.

"Oh… okay," Lily stuttered.

**FIRST DAY**

Lily didn't sleep well that night. Her dreams were filled once again with the evil exes and the dark versions of her parents. She awoke with a start long before it was time for her shift, but she figured maybe it would be for the best if she went ahead and got up.

As she went down to make herself a bowl of cereal for breakfast, she found her father sitting at the dining room table, hunched over his Nintendo DS. "Dad?"

Scott looked up, but just for a moment. "Hey Lily… big first day, right?"

Lily crossed the kitchen and picked out a bowl. After pouring some cereal in it, she sat down across from Scott. **(Name: Lily Pilgrim, Fun Fact: Favorite cereal, even at age 18, is still Kix)**

"Dad… how much did you know about Mom when you started dating her?" Lily asked between mouthfuls.

Scott didn't even look up from the screen. "Next to nothing. I even think I was in love with her before I knew her name. She was just a girl with hair like… well… kind of like yours," he said with a shrug. "Even after we started dating, I didn't know too much. I didn't even know how old she was until I was 4 exes in."

That made Lily think of something. "That reminds me… could you tell me the story of Roxie Richter again. I'm a little fuzzy on the details."

Scott stopped playing immediately. "Umm… well let's see… Roxie was a friend of your mother's who didn't like it when we started hanging out so much and your mother stopped hanging out with her."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Dad… I'm not 7."

Scott thought about that for a moment, and then went back to playing his game. "I think it's a story your mother needs to tell you. All I can say is that she had this wicked chain sword and we had an awesome fight, and she could teleport and split herself into four different people and…"

"Alright Dad… I'll go ask Mom," Lily said as she stood up, annoyed.

Scott smiled. "Have a good day at work Lily."

"Thanks," Lily couldn't help but smile again at her father as he went back to playing his game, oblivious to the world **(Ramona Flowers-Pilgrim Note: And the fact that he's about to be late for work)**.

The walk to No Account Video wasn't very long. Lily covered the span in about 5 minutes. When she walked in, Hollie was standing at the counter, name badge in hand.

"Welcome to No Account Video, Lily Pilgrim!" she said with a smile as she handed the name badge to Lily. "Now… on to orientation videos!"

**VENDETTA**

Several hours later, Lily stood at the counter, facing the doorway **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Brain… is mush. Can't… think of anything witty to say)**. Hollie walked out of the back, carrying her purse.

"Hey Lily… I'm going to lunch. Just… watch the store while I'm gone," she said as she walked out of the doors.

Lily could only manage an unenthusiastic wave. Time passed. More time passed. Lily continued to sit, wondering how a place like this could stay in business with literally no customers. Finally, as if in answer to her question, the bell on the door rang, signaling a patron. Lily perked up as best she could.

"Hello. Welcome to No Account Video. How can I help you?"

Lily's face dropped as the man who walked in the door unsheathed a sword and pointed it directly at her **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Seriously? Another sword? Are we running out of ninja weapon ideas here?)**. "Why yes you can, Lily Pilgrim," the man said with a deep southern drawl. "You can help me by dying."

_I am… SO fired._

_…_

_Hey… I'm getting better at this…_

Uh oh! Will things ever calm down for Lily Pilgrim? Now another stranger is pointing a sword at her, and it's only her first day on the job! Is this man somehow connected to the mysterious Roxie Richter? And when will Lily get to ask Sean more questions? WILL she get to? And how DID Wallace know about Lily's new job when she hadn't even told him yet? And why do I ask so many questions, many of which I'm not even sure will be answered in the next installment of "Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World?"


	8. Chapter 7: Barry

Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim series or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to persons, living or dead, is completely coincidental. I reiterate my statement from chapter 2 too... swords are only fun til someone gets hurt... or fired.

A/N: Real life issues tried to keep this one from being released, but nothing can stop LPvTW! :-) Actually, I take that back. A few things could possibly stop this story. But as long as you keep reading and giving me feedback, it'll take a lot more than severe weather to stop me! :-D

**Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World**

**Chapter 7**

**Barry**

Lily Pilgrim **(Age: 18, Status: Hoping she doesn't get fired)** stood frozen at the counter of her new place of employment, No Account Video, as a strange man in a black outfit pointed a sword at her face.

"Is there any way we can NOT do this right now?" Lily pleaded as she slowly began walking around the desk. "This is my first day here, and I really need this job. Could you come back at 6? That's when I get off work."

"I'm sorry, darlin'," the man said. "No rain checks today."

With that, he swiped the sword directly at Lily's head! Lily ducked underneath and hopped over the counter, passing him and heading up the aisles of videos. He quickly turned and followed.

"Who are you?" Lily yelled as she zigzagged through the aisles.

"Name's Jeff Barry!" the man yelled as he lunged for another swipe and cut a display of Lucas Lee's posthumous anthology blu-rays in half. "And your mom ruined my life!"

"Mom?" Lily rolled underneath another sword swipe and jumped to her feet, running back the other direction through the action movies. "I thought all of you were after me because of what my dad did!"

"Your dad didn't help matters," Jeff spat as he whipped around and continued his dicing pursuit. "But your MOM was the one who was TRULY responsible!"

Lily **(Status: Rapidly running out of ideas…)** popped out at the back of the store, where one long and wide aisle led back to the front, past the counter and out the door. She went to run, but Jeff suddenly bounded into her path, a smile on his face as his sword flashed in the fluorescent light.

"End of the line," he growled.

Before he could attack though, the bell at the door rang again. A customer! Jeff whirled around. Lily glanced at the door. A blonde haired woman was walking through the door, her flowery dressed billowing in the wind from outside. She looked at Lily and smiled.

"AUNT LISA!" Lily screamed.

Lisa **(Name: Lisa Miller, Age: 45, but doesn't look a day over 34, Occupation: Big time Hollywood actress)** waved at Lily, but then spotted Jeff and his sword, and her face immediately dropped.

It was all the distraction Lily needed. As Jeff tried to turn back towards her, she rushed forward and shoved him into a used DVD bin! **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Has never actually seen a DVD player)** Amidst the confusion, she ran towards Lisa, who was now starting to back out of the doorway. Lily grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the store, tearing down the sidewalk as Jeff jumped through the door as well.

"Umm… Lil? Where are we going, and who is that?" Lisa asked, confused as her niece pulled her along the sidewalk, almost faster than she could run **(Lisa Miller Note: I knew I shouldn't have worn these heels)**.

"Long story Aunt Lisa," Lily said through her gritted teeth. She was trying hard to concentrate. She had to find a subspace door… NOW! Then she remembered… every Second Cup in town had a subspace door. It came with the free Wi-Fi connection **(The Second Cup: Your source for coffee, Wi-Fi, and subspace!)**. She jerked Lisa around the corner and headed into the Second Cup.

"You can't get away, Pilgrim!" Jeff yelled from behind them. Lily found herself again hoping her quick access card worked, because there wasn't going to be a lot of time. She jumped toward the door with Lisa in tow, and the two tumbled through into subspace!

**EXPLANATIONS**

Lily found herself lying next to her Aunt Lisa in the familiar desert of subspace. She slowly got up and brushed herself off **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Well… there goes THAT job…)** before helping Lisa to her feet.

"What… is this place?" Lisa asked, looking around.

Lily had forgotten that Lisa was Canadian, and therefore didn't know much about subspace. "It's… a place I go to when I need to get away for awhile," she said with a smile. Then she hugged Lisa. "It's so good to see you!"

"Good to see you too, Lil," Lisa smiled.

"That's touching, but we should really get back to our business," snarled Jeff from a short distance away **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Wait… WHAT? What the ****XXXX****?)**.

"How did… but…" Lily stammered as she turned to face Jeff.

"How did I know about subspace?" Jeff ventured as he took his fighting stance again. "Who do you think taught your mother about subspace?"

"You?" Lily was incredulous.

"What? NO! My Roxie did, and she taught ME all about it too," Jeff said as he prepared to strike.

Lily again grabbed Lisa by the hand and the two ran away from Jeff, who pursued with his sword flashing. If Jeff could follow them into subspace, there wasn't anywhere that Lily knew of where they could escape. Which left her one choice. She started scanning the horizon for another door, one that would lead her to a place where she might have the upper hand. Her eyes fell on that door and she made a beeline-a confused Lisa still following closely behind.

The two crashed through the door and right into the dining room of the Happy Avocado!

"Seriously, Lil… we've got to stop doing that," Lisa said as she struggled to regain her feet. Lily bounced up. She knew that they weren't safe for very long, and she would need something to combat that sword.

"Lily?"

_Oh no…_

Standing close to where they had popped out of subspace was Lily's mother **(Name: Ramona V. Flowers-Pilgrim, Status: Confused and concerned)**. She helped Lisa to her feet while keeping her eyes on Lily. "I thought you were at work…"

"I was, but then…" Lily started.

Suddenly Jeff crashed full force through the door, colliding with Lily, sending them both into a nearby table.

"Now, little Pilgrim… it's time to die," he said as he walked over to Lily, who was trying desperately to clear her head from the impact. He raised the sword over his head, preparing to bring it down on Lily, when he was kicked hard from behind! He sailed across the dining room and crashed into another table!

"I don't think so," Ramona said as she helped Lily to her feet.

Jeff got up slowly and looked at Ramona and Lily, who had struck fighting poses next to each other. "Ramona Flowers? The woman who ruined my LIFE? Alright then… looks like I can take your daughter out of this world and then make my peace with you too!"

"Jeff… it was a long time ago. We were young… I didn't know what I was doing," Ramona said.

Lily looked at her mother. "Wait… you KNOW this guy?"

"Sure I do. Jeff Barry. Met him at university," Ramona said. "He was… a friend of a friend."

"Just a FRIEND?" Jeff snarled again. "I was only a friend because of YOU!"

"I'm really confused right now," Lily said.

"Well… remember my fourth 'ex,' Roxie Richter?"

"Yeah."

Ramona started to unzip her purse. "Well… Roxie wasn't JUST my friend, and she wasn't just Jeff's friend either…" she bit her lip as she looked at Lily.

"What?" Lily shrugged.

"You're taking that remarkably well," Ramona said.

"So what? So my mom had a bi-curious phase," Lily said. "I'm not as naïve as you think Mom… we DO have a softball team at school, after all."

"Ahem!" Jeff cleared his throat loudly. "I get the feeling I'm still being pushed to the back burner, and I DON'T LIKE THAT!"

Ramona turned back towards Jeff. "Alright then… let's go!" She began pulling what looked to be a handle out of her purse. In fact… as she kept pulling… Lily wondered how in the world she kept something that long in there. Finally, the head of what appeared to be a large sledgehammer appeared out of the purse, and Ramona flourished it towards Jeff. **(Large Hammer: Rating +2 against girls… and whiny boys)**

"Wha? Mom… where did you get a hammer from?" Lily exclaimed.

"From subspace, dear," Ramona said as she rushed forward. She swung the hammer down toward Jeff, who immediately dogged aside. He lunged, flourishing the sword just inches above her head. Using the near miss to her advantage, Ramona spun behind him-striking his back hard.

"You mean to say that I've been running from these people with swords when I could have just reached into subspace and pulled out a GINORMOUS hammer!" Lily unzipped her bag and started rummaging around **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Where's MY hammer?)**.

"Not exactly. We never got you a hammer because we never figured you'd need it," Ramona said as she locked up with Jeff, struggling to keep the sword away from her face.

"Well obviously I do!" Lily yelled as she stopped going through her bag.

Ramona was starting to tire as Jeff pushed down on his sword. He was winning. The look in his eyes was murderous… and then blank as Lisa swung and smacked him in the back of the head with her purse. Jeff fell to the ground, holding the back of his head.

"Geez! What do you keep in that thing, horseshoes?" Jeff whined as he rolled on the ground.

"No. Just a lot of makeup," Lisa said with a bit of a smile. "And maybe a few napkin holders that I just picked up."

Jeff rolled around in pain as Ramona used her hammer to help herself up. Lily moved towards them, but then Jeff suddenly started glowing. In fact, he became so bright that Lily had to shield her eyes from the glare. After a brief second, the glow died down, and Lily uncovered her eyes. Her mother and aunt **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Who both apparently kick all kinds of butt! Who knew?)** stood over an empty spot on the floor. Ramona's face in particular was very troubled.

"Where'd he go?" Lily asked.

"Into subspace," Ramona said. She still looked very worried to have just won a fight. "C'mon… let's get home before he decides to come back. I think we've had enough excitement for the day."

"I've had enough excitement for a lifetime," Lisa agreed.

"By the way, good to see you again, Lisa," Ramona said, as though noticing Scott's old friend for the first time.

"You too," Lisa answered. The two and Lily walked out the door of the Happy Avocado.

"So… when do I get a hammer?" Lily asked.

"We'll see," was Ramona's answer.

**BACK TO WORK**

Lily ran the last 100 feet to the door of No Account Video. She had been so wrapped up in her fight with Jeff Barry that she had almost forgotten she was still on the clock. As she walked in the door though, she slowed to a walk.

Hollie was standing in the middle of the store, looking around at the destruction that had been caused. She glanced at Lily for a moment, and then went back to trying to fix the Lucas Lee display.

"So… yeah," Lily stammered. "About this…" **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Yep… so fired…)**

"Don't worry," Hollie said as she looked back at Lily. "I knew what I was getting in to when I hired a Pilgrim. Besides, it's not like there are applicants lining up at the door for that job, so you're not fired. Just… try and make this look less… sliced and diced before you go home tonight, okay?"

"Umm... also... do you think we could take another look at my dad's acco-" Lily started.

"Don't push your luck, Lily," Hollie said in a monotone. **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Well... I tried...)**

Several hours of cleaning later, the store looked okay. Not quite perfect, but enough where Hollie told Lily she could go home for the night. Lily trudged out the door and headed home. She didn't bother with subspace. If Jeff was still out there, and she had a feeling he was, she might be safer in the real world, where at least a policeman might see her.

"Hard day at work?" a voice said from behind her. Lily jumped and turned, ready to fight. Sean Williams **(Role: Lily's boyfriend? Rating: 13/10)** shrank away from the coming blow, which in fact never came.

"God you scared me Sean," Lily gasped.

"Didn't mean to, though what did I tell you about being alone," Sean said with a teasing smile.

"Well… you COULD keep me company on my way home," Lily smiled. "You know… be my bodyguard?"

"Sounds great," Sean said as he began walking next to Lily, hands in his pockets. "So I'm guessing Jeff Barry found you today."

"THAT'S an understatement," Lily said with a sigh. "He even knows about subspace, so I can't use it as a hiding place."

"Yeah. Like I said, subspace is pretty standard information in America," Sean lamented. "Of course, with a girlfriend like Roxie, he knows things about it that most normal people wouldn't."

"Girlfriend like Roxie? I thought she was a lesbian," Lily said, confused.

"Not exactly. Roxie's first 'experience' was with your mom. She just never got over it," Sean said. "But Jeff was her boyfriend first. He blames your mom for 'turning' her lesbian, which accounts for his strong dislike of her."

"I think dislike is an understatement too," Lily said.

"Probably," Sean agreed.

The two walked in silence for a few moments before Sean spoke again.

"So… you had questions?" he tried to lighten the mood with an elbow to Lily. "I'm still trying to convince you I'm not an evil stalker."

"Okay… why did you move to Toronto?"

"Wow… going right for the jugular this time, aren't you?" Sean said, holding his throat and staggering around. "I'd love to tell you that it was because of some great noble thing. My dad swearing vengeance on the man who murdered his father or something cool like that, but unfortunately, no. My dad got transferred up here for work, and that's all there is to it."

"Wow… so boring. I might have to break up with you now," Lily teased.

"Well… I'd say my life is a lot more exciting now with the almost famous Lily Pilgrim being a part of it," Sean answered with a smile.

"Stick around. It's only getting crazier by the second," Lily said.

"Mind if I ask you a question?" Sean asked.

"I guess not. I mean… I'm interrogating you every other day now," Lily replied.

"Do you hate your parents for putting you through this?"

Lily stopped short as Sean passed her. He turned around, hands still in his pockets.

"No. I don't hate them. I mean… we all make mistakes. We all hurt other people," Lily started. "My parents were just unlucky enough to hurt the wrong people." **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Talk about the jugular…)**

Another moment of silence.

"Sorry," Sean said. "I was starting to wonder if this was getting to you or not."

"It's okay. It IS kind of getting annoying, but they can't just keep coming, right?" Lily shrugged. "Eventually, I'll beat Gideon and this'll be finished."

Sean smiled grimly as he put an arm around Lily and they walked the rest of the way to her house.

**VISITOR**

As Lily walked in the front door, she was greeted by both her aunt Lisa and her mother, who were sitting at the dining room table. Lisa walked up and hugged Lily as hard as she could before letting go.

"That's for earlier, since I couldn't really hug you while we were running for our lives," she said. "Now… Ramona's told me all about everything, but I want it straight from the source."

Lily cringed slightly **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Here we go…)**.

"Tell me ALL about this Sean character,"

_That was… unexpected._

"Umm.. okay?" Lily started. "He's American…"

"Already following in your dad's footsteps, going out of the country for love?" Lisa said with a smile towards Ramona.

"I guess?" Lily was still reeling from the suddenness of the topic.

"So is he hot? Don't worry about your mom being here… she thought plenty of guys were hot too, and apparently girls," Lisa continued.

"Umm… yeah… he's… hot," Lily stammered.

"Alright Lisa… you've shell shocked the poor girl," Ramona said finally. "So I thought we'd go somewhere that's familiar to all of us for dinner."

"Oh… Sneaky Dee's?" Lisa said.

"How did you guess?" Ramona replied.

"C'mon. It's Toronto. Not too many places to choose from, right?"

A while later, Lily found herself in a corner booth at Sneaky Dee's. The room was dark, with lots of people milling around. The sounds of a live band filtered down the stairs from the stage area. Lily wondered for a moment if John had ever considered Tanooki Dream playing at Sneaky Dee's.

"It's so good to see you Lisa," Kim Pine said from one side of the table **(Name: Kimberly Pine, Status: Eating nachos with friends… what could be better?)**. Beside her, Knives sat sipping a drink **(Name: Knives Porter, Status: Still glad to be able to sit in Sneaky Dee's without Stephen Stills vouching for her)**. On the other side of the booth, Lily sat with her parents **(Names: Scott and Ramona Pilgrim (-Flowers), Status: Only married couple, but trying not to rub it in people's faces)**. "So how long are you in for this time?"

"I'm here for a few weeks, but starting next week, we'll be filming at Casa Loma, so I won't be quite as easy going," Lisa replied from the head of the table.

"So you really DO become the diva," Scott said.

"Not as much as TMZ would have you believe, but maybe just a little," Lisa said, shrugging her shoulders.

Kim turned her attention to Lily, who was sitting in the corner sipping on a soda. "And I hear YOU got a job," she said.

"It's not that big a deal… just something to help me save up and replace my drum set," Lily replied.

"May I ask where you've decided to begin your employment?" Kim asked as she took another sip of her drink.

"No Account Video."

_**PFFT!**_

Kim spit her drink across the table, spraying Scott right in the face.

Several minutes **(And a lot of cleaning up)** later, Ramona and Lisa had gone out on the patio for a smoke **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Seriously? They smoke? Isn't smoking… evil or something?)** and everyone was just sitting around the table.

"Lily," Kim started. "No Account Video isn't that bad of a place to work, but I want you to do something for me. When you go in tomorrow, tell Hollie that I haven't forgotten."

"Haven't forgotten what?" Lily asked.

Kim grinned evilly. "Don't worry about that. I'm just making sure my niece is taken care of."

"Wow… Lily… you've got the greatest set of aunts ever," Knives somewhat slurred **(Knives Porter: Age 39, Still a MAJOR lightweight…)**.

"I really do," Lily said with a smile.

"Don't forget you've got the greatest dad in the world too," Scott said.

Kim rolled her eyes. "Yes… yes… Scott Pilgrim… greatest father in the province. As much as it pains me to say that."

Suddenly, Kayla Simson **(Kayla Simson Note: Out of breath… hold… up…)** burst into the door.

"Hey wait! You're not 18!" a bouncer said as she ran up to the table. **(Kayla Simson Fun Fact: Kayla is, in fact, 17. Other Fun Fact: She couldn't care less right now)**

"Lily!" Kayla gasped as she got to the table. Bouncers were immediately on her, trying to pull her away from the table, but she held on with the strength of a pit bull **(Note: Pit bulls are strong dogs. I've seen this first hand. They are also very friendly dogs. Also seen first hand)**.

"What is it Kayla?" Lily asked.

"It's… Little… C… he…" Kayla was straining against the bouncers. Finally, Kim stood up.

"Guys! Is it too much to ask for you to leave her alone!" she yelled. "For God sakes I'll vouch for her if it'll get you to leave!"

"Yes ma'am Ms. Pine," one of the bouncers said as they both quickly walked away. Kayla straightened her clothes and continued trying to catch her breath.

"What happened to Little C?" Lily demanded.

"He… wanted to find out more about this Jeff Barry guy. So when we saw a guy with a sword walking down the street, we figured it was him, and that it'd be a good idea to follow him," Kayla explained between breaths. "You know C though… stealth isn't his strong suit, so Jeff saw him and grabbed him! Me and John just barely made it out! John went to the police, but I don't think they're going to help."

Just then, Lily's phone buzzed, signaling a text message. She flipped it open.

**Pilgrim,**

**Have your bf. Come to Hillcrest and we'll finish this.**

**-JB**

Lily flipped the phone closed.

**BATTLE**

Hillcrest Park was still and silent. The weather had been pleasant for the last week, but tonight the sky seemed echoed Lily Pilgrim's mood. The falling snow contrasted the dark clouds above as it lightly frosted the playground equipment and lawns.  
Lily Pilgrim **(Age: 18, Status: Cautious and a bit miffed)** slowly walked into the park, looking around for an attack to come from any angle. This was the same park where she had faced Winifred Hailey, and the same park where her parents had had their first date. She was bound and determined it would not be the last place she ever saw, or for that matter, her friend Little C saw.  
As Lily passed the swing sets, a thud alerted her to another presence. Jeff Barry **(Age: Unknown, Relationship to Roxie Richter: Touched on, Status: D-Bag)** stood on the swing set, sword glinting in the light.

"What do you want, Jeff?" Lily said through her gritted teeth.

"I thought that was clear. Was I not clear?" Jeff replied. "I want revenge on your mother for turning my Roxie against me! And I'm going to start by taking it out of the hide of your little boyfriend over there," he gestured towards a tree, where Little C was tied up.

"Leave him out of this. Your fight is… well… I guess it's with me," Lily stammered a bit. Seeing Little C tied up was a bit unnerving to her.

"So your mom isn't here to bail you out again?" Jeff snarled.

Lily unzipped her subspace bag and began pulling a handle out of it. In just a moment, the head of a gigantic hammer cleared the bag and she swung it, pointing it towards Jeff. "I don't need help to take out your whiny **XXX!**" **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Also… I'VE GOT MY OWN HAMMER! YEAH!)**

"C'mon little girl… let's dance!" Jeff said as he jumped off the swing set, bringing his sword down toward Lily.

Lily brought her hammer up to block the sword with a resounding clang! Before Jeff could react, Lily spun toward him, smacking him in the face with the end of the handle before finishing her spin and swinging the hammer toward him. At the last second, he ducked backwards to the ground, dodging the blow. Immediately he popped back up and sliced upwards, but Lily sidestepped one swipe and then blocked its follower with the end of her hammer.

"You must really love him to be fighting for him like this," Jeff said with a smile as they struggled to break the stalemate.

"Love him? What?" Lily paused.

It was a distraction that Jeff was looking for. He whirled around and caught Lily in the face with his elbow, driving her back. He swiped at her head again, but she again blocked the blow with her hammer. He'd been expecting that though, and quickly grabbed the handle of the hammer, using it to swing the hammer and Lily both into a tree nearby! Lily hit the tree with a thud and crumpled to the ground.

"I loved someone like that once… I loved my Roxie!" Jeff said as he sauntered toward Lily. "But then your little harlot of a mother had to come along and take her from me! After she'd been with your mother, Roxie never wanted to cuddle. She never wanted me. She only wanted HER and her 'talented tongue!"

"TMI much?" Lily said, a disgusted look on her face. **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Seriously… blech!)** She pushed herself up and tried to swing the hammer again, but Jeff blocked it with his sword and quickly kicked the hammer out of her hands, knocking it back into the park.

"Lily!" Little C yelled from a distance. "You can do it Lily!"

Lily sank to her knees though. She'd finally been defeated. Jeff had known everything she was going to do. Everything she was thinking.

"Just stop fighting, little girl," Jeff said as he raised his sword. "It's not your fight anyway, remember? Just the mistakes of mommy and daddy… but it'll be over soon. And then, I'll take care of your little friend over there…"

Lily's head snapped up. The next motions were fast. Jeff prepared for the killing blow, but at the last second, Lily clicked her heels to release the skate wheels on her shoes, jumped up and kicked Jeff right in the crotch with the skates! **(OOOOOHHHHH! I don't care who you are… that's GOTTA hurt!)** Jeff doubled over in pain, dropping his sword.

"You're absolutely right, Jeff," Lily said as she watched Jeff try to catch his breath. "But they fought for each other and for me, and I'll fight for them any day. So the mistake… is really yours." **(OH SNAP, SON!)**

Jeff looked at the ground again, his eyes nearly bulging as he sucked in air. Lily stood up slowly and took the sword **(NEW WEAPON ACQUIRED! Katana blade! Would you like to equip? YES!)**. She looked at her reflection in the blade, noticing that it looked, for just a second, as though she had been washed out, like the nightmare versions of her parents. She couldn't make herself care though.

"Whiny little boy in the falling snow…" she started as she prepared for the final strike. "I sure hope you're ready cause it's TIME TO GO!"

Lily swiped upwards and through Jeff's torso, shattering him into a thousand coins in the snow! Immediately, she fell back to her knees, exhausted. Meanwhile, Little C finally managed to wriggle free of his ropes and rushed to her side.

"Lily!" he exclaimed. "Lily… are you okay?"

She didn't look up at him. "I can't do it anymore," she said. "Not if they're starting to come after you guys."

"But I'm fine Lily! You saved me!" Little C pulled Lily's chin up so he could look her in the face. They stared into each other's eyes for a moment. "You're stronger than anything your parents' past can throw at you."

Lily thought she saw something in Little C's eyes in that moment, but it passed as he looked past her and started backing away. She could hear the pixel sword behind her.

"Are you okay Lily?" Sean's voice from where the pixel sword was.

"Sean?" Lily asked weakly.

"I came as soon as Kayla told me what was happening. That poor girl looked like she'd just run a marathon."

"I'm pretty sure that's the longest she's run since elementary school P.E," Lily managed a weak smile as she turned to Sean.

Sean glared at Little C for a moment. "You okay?" he asked, seemingly not too concerned with the answer.

"Yeah," Little C replied, his eyes flashing defiance.

"Then I think we've had enough excitement for one day," Sean added as he helped Lily to her feet. "Let's get you home."

Wow… things are getting a lot more serious in the world of Lily Pilgrim. With Jeff out of the way, who will come to avenge the Katayanagis? How will Hollie treat Lily at work now that she knows Kim Pine is watching out for her? What will happen next in the Lily/Sean relationship? **(Little C Note: That smug son of a…)** With Lisa and Knives both being back in town, is there some kind of reunion or something centering on Lily's battles? What was that dark, washed out version of Lily in the reflection of the sword? And when will I finally learn that none of you are going to answer these questions? Find out in the next installment of "Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World!"


	9. Chapter 8: Katayanagi

Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim series or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to persons, living or dead, is completely coincidental. Also, I apologize if my reference to the Twilight Zone offends anyone. I've never actually seen the show... I only know they have a huge marathon about once a year, and that is the only time I've ever seen it on television. Also, I love the SyFy Channel. Just needed to get that out there.

A/N: Well... I was proven wrong. I said that nothing beyond severe weather could stop me from posting this chapter on time... and apparently I was wrong. There is a news event that could stop me from being able to post. But I'm posting now, and as always, feedback is appreciated, especially since I believe this chapter will cause the most controversy of any chapter I've done up til now, and any chapter that will follow. Just trust me... I'm going somewhere with this. Also, since I'm nearing the end of Lily Pilgrim's story, I'm trying to come up with new ideas for new stories. I've got a few, but if you have any, send em my way. :-D Unless you wanna do them yourself. In which case, I will probably read, cause I'm like that.

Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World

Chapter 8

Katayanagi

Lily Pilgrim **(Age: 10, Status: Nervous)** sat on a stage in front of an empty auditorium. She looked around. The seats in the room were a faded red color, but she knew once the lights were on, she wouldn't be able to make them out. She looked at her drum set, sitting in front of her. It was shiny red, a birthday present from her aunt. She lightly rested a drumstick on the head of the snare.

"It's okay to be a little nervous," Kim Pine **(Rating: Best Drum Teacher Ever!)** said from behind her. Lily looked back and smiled.

"Yeah… nervousness is good. You can use it!" her father, Scott Pilgrim **(Status: Pretty proud that Lily's playing in the school band… wishes she could have played bass though)**, agreed from the other side. "It reminds me of a time when I was pretty nervous, but then we kicked butt!"

Lily turned to her father, who was walking onto the stage. She knew the story he was launching in to. Kim rolled her eyes.

"We were in the Toronto International Battle of the Bands, and it was the semi-finals!" Scott started. "Sex Bob-omb was tearing it up, but we were going amp versus amp with one of the biggest acts in the country, the Katayanagi Twins!"

"And they were Mom's exes too," Lily could almost recite the story from heart. She'd heard it since she was 5, possibly even before.

"They started to play, and a huge dragon came out of their amp wall and attacked us, but we weren't scared. We played harder, even though I was pretty nervous with your mom being in the crowd and all," Scott continued. "In fact, we played so hard, a giant yeti came out of our amps, and it fought the dragon!"

"And it won?" Lily was starting to clinch her drumsticks, feeling the adrenaline coming from the story.

"Of course!" Scott smiled. "The dragon fell on the twins, and everything exploded into a TON of coins!" **(Scott Pilgrim Note: It was the most money I'd ever seen up close…)**

As the story had progressed, Kim had slowly walked around to stand next to Scott. As soon as he finished, she smacked him in the back of the head, hard.

"Scott Pilgrim… you really are an idiot, aren't you?" she said, a bit of anger in her voice. "The most traumatic night of my life and you don't even remember it correctly?"

"What?" Lily and Scott both said in unison.

"Never mind," Kim said as she glared at Scott. Her expression softened as she looked to Lily. "Good luck, Lily."

"Yeah… good luck."

Lily suddenly turned to see a man with shoulder length hair and glasses standing in front of her drum set. The lights were almost blinding reflecting off of his white suit. He smiled as he pulled a sword out of his cane and put it right through her chest!

**REUNION**

Lily Pilgrim **(Age: 18, Status: FREAKED OUT!)** woke with a start. In fact, she woke so violently, she very nearly fell out of bed. She looked down at herself, fully expecting to see a bloody hole, but she was just wearing her nightgown. But it had felt so real…

She slowly turned and got out of bed, deciding that she wouldn't be able to sleep again after that kind of nightmare **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Maybe not ever again…)**. She walked into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror, breathing a sigh of relief. Not only was she not bleeding to death out of a hole in her chest, but she appeared to be in full color mode again, as opposed to the night before when she had momentarily reverted to black and white.

"Honey? Are you okay?" a voice said from behind her bedroom door. It was her mother, Ramona.

"I'm alright," Lily managed to croak out a response. "Just… bad dreams."

"Okay," Ramona replied. "Well come down when you're ready. We have a surprise for you."

_Another ex proxy trying to kill me?_

Lily thought she saw herself lose a little color.

A few minutes later, Lily walked down the stairs, refreshed and dressed in her signature shirt and jeans. That's why she loved Saturdays. No uniforms. She was surprised as she reached the bottom of the stairs and found her family, along with her Aunt Kim and Uncle Stephen, sitting in the living room.

"Hey Lily!" Scott exclaimed, his face almost cracking with excitement.

"Hey… Dad… what's going on?" Lily asked as she sat down on the couch next to Kim.

Scott looked at everyone in the room, still smiling widely. Lily still waited for him to answer her, but it was actually Stephen who spoke next.

"We have another gig for Tanooki Dream," Stephen said **(Name: Stephen Stills, Fun Fact: Still the talent… still gay… sorry ladies)**. "That is, if you guys want it."

"OF COURSE we want a gig!" Lily smiled. "But… how did you guys get us a gig?"

Stephen smiled. "I've still got some connections."

Kim rolled her eyes. "He doesn't have any connections except to one of the managers of Sneaky Dee's. The REAL reason we have a gig for you guys is we have one ourselves."

Lily cocked her head to the side. "What?"

"Lisa's still kind of miffed that she never got to see Sex Bob-omb perform, and now that she's a big time Hollywood actress, she can pretty much get anything she wants… including a gig for a band that hasn't played in over 20 years at Sneaky Dee's," Kim said, letting a bit of a smile creep onto her face **(Kim Pine Note: A little excited about playing to something other than a cat)**.

"Sex Bob-omb is BACK!" Scott whooped.

"For one night only," Ramona chided in **(Ramona Flowers-Pilgrim Note: At least I hope so)**.

"And of course, what's a reunion show without an opening act?" Kim said, her face straight but Lily could hear a bit of excitement. "So… we thought you guys would want to play us on."

"But I don't have enough money for my new drum set yet," Lily said.

"Don't worry about that. I'll have mine there. You can just use them," Kim answered.

"Really?" Lily said, stars in her eyes **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Playing on Aunt Kim's drum set = Greatest show ever!)**.

"Of course, you'll need to be careful with them," Kim added, again cracking a bit of a smile.

"But what about Little C and Kayla?" Lily was again fighting disappointment. "They're not over 18. How will they get in to Sneaky Dee's?"

Stephen spoke up. "Leave that to me. Like I said, I've got connections."

"Only if your 'connection' doesn't hate you again by the time of the show," Ramona teased. Everyone laughed. Well… everyone but Lily, who wasn't sure what everyone was talking about. She didn't care though… she had news to share with her friends.

**PREP WORK**

"We're opening for Sex Bob-omb?" John Jacobs exclaimed **(Name: John Jacobs, guitar player for Tanooki Dream; Status: Losing it!)**. "But… they were pretty big, right? I mean… they had a CD and everything!"

Lily stood in front of her assembled band mates in the garage that served as their primary practice area. Of course, since Lily's drums had been destroyed in the fight with Lynette Guycott, not a lot of practicing had been going on. John stood next to his guitar amp, certifiably freaking out. Kayla sat on the amp, lost in thought, while Little C had been tuning his bass.

"Wait… you knew they had a CD?" Lily asked. "How did you know they had a CD?"

"Don't you remember? You told us about it between chapter 5 and chapter 6," John said.

"Oh," Lily said, looking down. She hadn't even really remembered…

"That's awesome though… Tanooki Dream opening for local indie legends," John said, looking toward the sky as though he was seeing the marquee. "This could be our big shot!"

Kayla finally stood up and stormed off. "Everything is about the band with you, isn't it John?" she yelled as she left the garage. Lily looked after her, confused.

"What's the deal with her?" she asked.

"I don't know," John answered, a worried look on his face.

"Tanooki Dream getting their big shot? Count me in," a voice said from outside the garage. Lily turned to see the voice's owner, Sean Williams **(Status: Currently dating Lily Pilgrim, Rating: 14/10!)** walk into the room with them. Little C suddenly became very interested in his bass, and playing an angry sounding riff. "Not to mention I'd love to see Sex Bob-omb in person too. Sounds like a double win for me."

Lily walked forward and hugged Sean, giving him a small kiss. Little C's riff got angrier sounding. "What are you doing here?"

"Wondering if I can take the future biggest band in Toronto's drummer away for a second," Sean answered with a smile.

"But we've gotta practice!" John exclaimed. "We open for Sex Bob-omb tomorrow, and you wanna leave?"

"John… I don't even have drums to practice on," Lily said with a sigh. "Why don't you go see what's bothering Kayla? We can't open for them without a lead singer, after all."

Lily walked off with Sean as he put his arm around her. She wasn't sure, but she thought she saw Sean look back at Little C and smile. She quickly wrote it off as her imagination running off again. After all, it'd been doing that in her dreams quite a bit lately…

**WARNING**

Lily sighed as she walked with Sean. Her life had seemed pretty bad just this morning, and then in the span of a few hours, everything was great again. Already the nightmares she had had the night before were far away.

"I need to talk to you about the Katayanagi Twins," Sean said.

Lily's high came crashing down. "What? Sean… I don't want to talk about any exes right now…"

Sean was insistent. "Lily… I've researched everything I can think of. As far as I can tell, the Katayanagis had no family other than each other. They had no friends. They only trusted each other," he said. "I've tried every avenue, and I have no idea who will be attacking you next."

"Maybe no one will," Lily said hopefully **(Lily Pilgrim Note: REALLY hopefully)**.

"No… it's not that easy," Sean said, shaking his head. "I won't let anything happen to you, but if that's going to be the case, we've got to talk about it so you're as ready as you can be. I don't want something to happen because I wasn't there in time."

"Look Sean… nothing's going to happen to me," Lily said, starting to get a little angry that Sean wasn't confident in her. "I've faced 4 proxies, and I've defeated them. Maybe Gideon will realize he can't beat this Pilgrim any more than he could beat the last one, but if he doesn't, I'll beat him just like I did the others."

"Well forgive me for being concerned!" Sean shot back. His tone caught Lily off guard. "The last four you were able to prep for. I was able to tell you what they were going to be… how they were going to fight, and you could strategize. I don't like the idea that I can't do that this time!"

Lily stopped walking. Sean turned toward her, his expression hard, but it softened after a moment.

"I'm sorry… I just don't like feeling useless," he said softly. "We don't have to talk about the exes… just promise me you'll be careful."

"I'm always careful," Lily answered.

The two continued walking in silence for a moment. Then, Sean attempted to change the subject. "So… where is this gig that Tanooki Dream is having?"

Lily jumped on the subject. "It's tomorrow night at Sneaky Dee's. No idea why they're playing on a Sunday night, but hey… like Uncle Stephen says… a gig is a gig is a gig." **(Stephen Stills Note: Damn right.)**

Sean chuckled. "Yeah. I'm not going to lie to you… seeing Sex Bob-omb in person will be pretty cool. I'd always heard stories. My dad even saw them play at Lee's Palace when he was younger."

"Your dad saw Sex Bob-omb?" Lily asked, her curiosity piqued **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Fishing for more information…)**.

"Yeah," Sean answered. "He was up here in Toronto on a business trip, before they decided to just transfer him up here full time. Saw them play when they had to fill in for the Clash at Demonhead. He DID say they were 'pretty good," Sean poked Lily in the ribs with his elbow, teasing.

"I've never heard them, but I remember hearing my dad's other band, Shatterband, when I was little. I don't think they ever did anything though… it was just basically Dad and Aunt Kim… playing to our cat," Lily said with a smile, remembering them playing at her 6th birthday party.**(Lily Pilgrim Note: It was an epic birthday party... even if they forgot some of the words)**

"I didn't know you had a cat," Sean said.

"We HAD a cat," Lily added sadly. "His name was Gideon. Apparently, Mom has a weird way of working out her issues."

"There are worse ways," Sean said grimly.

"I guess so," Lily answered.

**GIRL TIME**

Lily and Sean finished their walk at the Pilgrim house. As they walked up the stairs onto the porch, the door opened to reveal Lisa and Knives leaving. Both smiled as they saw Lily.

"Hey Aunt Lisa... hi Aunt Knives," Lily said, suddenly blushing with Sean's arm around her **(Lily Pilgrim Note: "Blushing?" This is full on sunburned red!).**

"Hi Lily… so this must be the famous Sean?" Knives said with a smile **(Name: Knives Porter, Occupation: Public Relations Officer for the Governor General)**.

Sean smiled and stepped forward. "Yes ma'am."

"And polite to boot?" Lisa said, arching an eyebrow **(Name: Lisa Miller, Occupation: Big time Hollywood actress... seriously, she's going for the Oscar this year)**.

"Always," Sean answered **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Embarrassment is directly proportional to how long this conversation continues…)**.

"Well I hate to break up your little date," Lisa began, "but we're going to steal Lily if you don't mind. I've arranged for a Sex Bob-omb reunion, and she's going to need a completely new outfit if she's going to be opening for the best indie band in the country."

Sean stepped aside, allowing Lisa to walk forward and grab Lily's arm, pulling her down the stairs with Knives following behind. Lily looked back at Sean, who was smiling again.

"Have fun Lily! And remember what we talked about!" he called from the porch.

Lily allowed herself to be dragged along behind Lisa and Knives. To be honest, an afternoon of shopping with two of her aunts was an exciting venture, but Sean's talk had made an impact. She was back to looking over her shoulder every few minutes to see if an attack was coming.

"So what do you think of this little number?" Lisa asked, holding up a vibrantly red dress.

Lily looked at the dress, confused. She couldn't really remember even coming nto the store, or coming over to the clothing rack they were standing next to now. To tell the truth, she'd been watching two suspicious girls watching them from the front of the store. "Umm… I guess… it's good?" Lily stammered.

"Wow… this guy really DOES have you distracted," Lisa smiled. "I thought your mom was just being dramatic."

Knives laughed. "Who are you to call HER dramatic, Ms. Hollywood actress?"

"I don't know. Maybe I should ask you and your shrine to…"

"That was in high school!" Knives said, blushing.

"Shrine? To what?" Lily asked.

"Rather… to whom?" Lisa said with a wink.

"What about you? With your tarted up dress and make up, just wandering around the mall?" Knives said.

"I was doing laundry that day," Lisa replied as she pulled a short blue dress off the rack. She showed it to Lily, who quickly shook her head. Lisa frowned and put the dress back.

"So… did you guys ever see the evil exes?" Lily asked. It had just occurred to her that her aunts had been around at about the same time, but they were never in her father's stories.

"The League of Evil Exes?" Knives said. **(Lily Pilgrim Note: I always thought it was a guild...) **"No. I mean… I met Envy and Todd when they were together, and I was there when Scott fought Gideon, but I didn't really see much else."

"What about you?" Lily turned to Lisa.

"I never saw any of them. Apparently Scott fought some girl named Roxie when I was down visiting, but thank goodness I didn't meet up with her," Lisa said. "Meeting HER ex the other day was enough for me, thank you."

"So neither of you know anything about the Katayanagis?" Lily asked, her hopes dropping slightly.

"Other than what Wallace said in his best man speech? No." Knives said. "And you can't really trust what he said that night… he was pretty drunk." Her phone immediately buzzed, but she ignored it. **(Wallace Wells Text: "Why yes… yes I was. :-D Good times!)**

"He really was," Lisa said in agreement as she continued to sort through the rack of dresses. "If you're curious though, you might talk to Kim. She apparently had a bit of an experience with them."

Lily thought back. Of all the exes, the Katayanagis WERE the only ones that Kim never wanted to talk about. But she wouldn't want to bother her aunt with something she didn't want to remember.

Lisa pulled out a black dress and showed it to Lily, who looked skeptical. She pressed the issue though. "Come on… this is going to make that little pink streak in your hair pop! It'll be great!" **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Maybe on a Hollywood actress, but on me? I don't know…)** Lily hesitated for a moment. "I'm getting it for you. That's it," Lisa said as she started walking towards the counter.

Lily heard the bell at the front door ring, but she didn't pay it any mind. She was just worried about what everyone would say if she showed up to the gig in that dress. "Wait, Aunt Lisa… I really DID like the red one!"

"Nope. Too late. I have spoken," Lisa said teasingly.

"I can tell you from experience," Knives said from behind them, "that pink on black really DOES look good."

"See… you're outvoted," Lisa smiled **(Lily Pilgrim Note: No fair… I call foul! No teaming up!)**.

"Ms. Pilgrim… so nice…"

"…to finally meet you."

Lily stopped short. She had learned that random strangers knowing her name was NOT a good thing. **(Lily Pilgrim Note: And really… when is it for anyone? It's creepy, it's stalker-ish, and it's just WRONG!)** She turned around to see two men standing at the clothes rack they had just left. Lisa and Knives stopped and looked as well.

"Great…" Lily muttered under her breath. "And who are you guys supposed to be?"

One of the men, dressed almost all in white, which set off an odd look with his bleached blonde hair, stepped forward. "I thought it would be obvious at this point…"

The other man joined his partner, never taking his eyes off of Lily. His black outfit and black hair were a stark contrast to the first man, but other than that, he could have been his twin. "… especially to the daughter of Scott Pilgrim and Ramona Flowers."

"So let me guess… you guys must be the frat brothers of the Katayanagi twins?" Lily said, trying to stall for time as she figured out what was going on. She knew things were about to get bad, but she didn't want that while Lisa and Knives were around. "Old plumbers? You met them once at the Second Cup and thought they were nice guys? Am I hitting on anything here?"

"So wrong…" Mr. White said.

"…silly girl," Mr. Black finished.

"Seriously… that's annoying as hell," Lily said as she started backing away slowly **(Lily Pilgrim Note: And a little creepy… Twilight Zone anyone?). **Then she felt the counter at her back… out of space. Lisa and Knives were on either side of her, Lisa looking very nervous, Knives looking ready to fight.

"There's nowhere to run…"

"… nowhere to hide…"

"Ms. Pilgrim," the two men said in unison. "You'll pay for what your parents did to us!"

Lily began looking around the room quickly, wishing Sean or Little C or SOMEBODY would spring out of somewhere to help her. "What did my parents do to you? They fought with the Katayanagi twins!"

"Look brother… this Pilgrim answers her own questions," Mr. Black said with a smile, again not looking away from Lily.

"What?" Lily asked, confused.

"We ARE the Katayanagi Twins!" the two men said as they joined hands **(TWIN LINK ACTIVATED!)**.

_Wait… WHAT?_

WHAT? But how can THAT happen? Are these REALLY the Katayanagi Twins, the same ones that were defeated by Scott Pilgrim in Vol. 5? And what will Lily be able to do to not only rescue herself, but her aunts Lisa and Knives? Will she even make it to the Sex Bob-omb reunion show? And how bad will John Jacobs freak out if she doesn't **(John Jacobs Note: She might not make it? WHAT?)**? And how in the world does Lily know ANYTHING about the Twilight Zone, considering it's really only shown once a year on the SyFy Channel? And why in the world is it called the SyFy Channel now? The answers to these questions and more in the next installment of "Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World!"


	10. Chapter 9: ROBOTS!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim series or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to persons, living or dead, is completely coincidental. All Tanooki Dream music was written by my wife, who shall remain nameless, but wants you all to know that she'll know if you take her song. She'll know.

A/N: Another chapter of Lily Pilgrim set to go up. This is really starting to become an enjoyable part of my weekend that I look forward to with great fervor, and here's some good news.. we may start getting more updates! That's right... my life is losing some complication, so I'll be working on this story much more. Yep... just in time for it to end in about 4 chapters. Still trying to think of new ideas for stories, possibly even as off-shoots of this one. We'll just have to see, but keep that feedback coming. I don't like flying blind. :-) So without further ado...

Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World

Chapter 9

ROBOTS!

Lily Pilgrim **(Age: 18, Status: Really Confused)** stood at the counter with her aunts Knives Porter **(Ready to fight!) **and Lisa Miller **(Starting to wonder why other actresses aren't attacked in boutiques… maybe the agent would like to know about this)** as they faced off with the Katayanagi Twins **(Apparently… not dead)**.

"You're WHO?" Lily asked.

"Are you deaf, little girl?" Mr. White Katayanagi said **(Seriously… Lily still doesn't know their names).**

"We're the very same Katayanagis that your father thinks he defeated all those years ago," Mr. Black Katayanagi continued **(Nope… still drawing a blank)**.

Faced with no reasonable alternative, Lily swung into action. She knew she had to get the twins away from her aunts, and so she broke into a run toward the back of the store. They quickly followed, with Kyle Katayanagi jumping in front of Lily, boxing her in with the help of Ken from behind **(See? I, as the narrator, DO know their names… actually, I just looked it up on wikipedia…)**.

"Nowhere to run, Lily," Kyle said sweetly.

"Weren't you paying attention?" Ken said from behind her.

"Then let's fight!" Lily yelled as she lashed out with a kick to Kyle. He ducked out of the way though, causing her to miss and sail into a clothes rack nearby.

"We're not here to fight you…" he said as Lily pulled herself out of the pile of clothes.

"Then why are you here?" Lily yelled as she stood up.

"We're here to watch THEM fight you," Ken said as he motioned towards the front of the store.

Lily looked towards her aunts, who were now backing away from the front windows of the store. Outside, a half dozen small robots were advancing, finally crashing through the window on an unstoppable march towards Lily **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Wait… ROBOTS? This just gets weirder and weirder…)**. Kyle and Ken laughed as the robots passed them to corner Lily, Knives and Lisa at the back of the store.

"Okay… this might have been fun before," Lisa said, "but now, I'm a bit uncomfortable."

"You and me both," Lily said as she looked frantically for an exit.

"Only one way out… and that's through them," Knives said, a smile almost on her face **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Wow… never seen this side of Aunt Knives… pretty scary)**.

Lily sighed before she rushed forward and hit a flying kick on the lead robot… and dropped to the floor, holding her ankle **(Note: Kicking robots hurts… a LOT!)**. The robot staggered back for a moment, but then continued forward, pounding the ground with its fist a split second after Lily moved out of the way.

"Well that didn't work," Lily muttered to herself as she continued rolling away from the onslaught.

Knives meanwhile grabbed a coat rack. After shaking the coats off of it, she went after the nearest robot, taking its head off cleanly with a Canseco like swing **(Wait… didn't he get charged with steroid use? Umm… okay… another baseball hitter… Jose' Bautista!)**. The head landed near the twins.

"Hold on a minute," Kyle said.

"That's not fair…" Ken finished.

"Life's not fair!" Lily Pilgrim screamed as she jumped up and stomped on one of the robots. She then ran across the remaining ones, almost playing hopscotch on them. **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Just look at MY life… I'm fighting a half dozen robots because my mom and dad had issues!)**

Knives swung again with the coat rack, sending another robot sailing through the front window of the store. Before she could take out another one though, Kyle and Ken were on her, forcing her back. They made staying away from Knives' swings look easy **(Lisa Miller Note: Not even a hair out of place… wonder what they use…)**.

"This isn't your fight…" Kyle snarled as he ducked a swing.

"Lily's the one we're after!" Ken growled.

_CLANG!_

Ken went down to a knee as Lisa swung and nailed him in the back of the head with her purse! **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Seriously… what DOES she keep in that thing?)** He didn't stay down for long though, springing back up to his feet and advancing on Lisa with murder in his eyes.

"Lily… we might want to get out of here!" Lisa said, wide eyed as she backed away.

Lily sent another robot flying into the dressing room and then looked toward the front of the store again. The path was clear. They could make it.

"Come on!" Lily yelled as she jumped over another robot and headed towards Lisa. She leaped and kicked Ken in the face, grimacing as her injured ankle screamed a protest. It stunned him though, and she grabbed Lisa and broke for the door. Knives, meanwhile, smacked Kyle in the face with the coat rack and then threw it at him. He caught it, but the distraction was enough, as Knives followed after Lily and Lisa to the outside!

"No! They can't do this!" Kyle yelled.

"Don't let them get away!" Ken commanded the robots, who starting lifting off and flying after the trio **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Seriously… FLYING ROBOTS? I hate my life…)**.

Lily and Lisa ran as hard as they could, but Lily's ankle wasn't going to do them any favors. The robots were going to catch them… and then Knives sped in on a scooter **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Where did she get a scooter? Do they even HAVE scooters in Toronto?)**.

"Get on!" Knives yelled. Lisa and Lily both obliged by jumping on the back of the scooter.

"Where did you get this?" Lily yelled over the motor.

"Saw an old friend riding it. After I explained to her that we were running from robots, she figured we needed it more than she did," Knives yelled back as she turned a corner, trying to shake their pursuers.

"You explained all of that in a couple of seconds?" Lily asked.

"I might have paraphrased," Knives said with a smile. "Tamara never did need a lot of explanation."

Lily turned back towards the robots, who were still gaining fast. Then, she noticed Lisa rummaging in her purse.

"What are you looking for?" she asked.

"Something to throw at them!" Lisa replied as she pulled out a horseshoe **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Wait… WHAT?)**. She heaved it at the robots, catching one in the face. It sailed off course, crashing into a light pole as the others zoomed past. Lisa then pulled out a brick, handing it to Lily.

"What the heck? Where did this come from?" Lily said as she looked at the brick in her hand in confusion.

"No time to explain now… just throw it!" Lisa said as she pulled out a toaster **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Wha… you know what? I don't care anymore…)** and threw it, clipping another robot and causing it to crash through a storefront window.

Lily lined up her shot carefully and nailed the third robot in the face with the brick. It went straight down into the street and exploded, the shockwave sending the final robot wildly away and into a parked car! Finally, Knives eased up on the throttle of the scooter.

"I've gotta say Lily," Lisa said between heaving breaths, "my last trip to Toronto wasn't nearly this exciting."

**GLOW**

Lily stood in front of her house with her Aunt Lisa as they watched Knives drive away on the scooter. She had said that she needed to return it to Tamara, and then probably hang out with her tonight.

Lisa sighed as they walked to the house. "I guess we failed in getting you a dress, but you look about the same size as me. Maybe I can find you something," she said with a weary smile.

"Where were you getting all of that stuff when we were being chased?" Lily asked, looking with suspicion at Lisa's purse.

"From this," Lisa said as she held it up. "It was a gift from your mother. She gave one to all of her bridesmaids, though she wasn't very clear about how it worked. She just said it was a 'subspace bag' and we could put anything we wanted into it. To tell the truth, it was all very confusing."

"So you were at Mom and Dad's wedding?" Lily asked as they reached the door.

"Of course I was!" Lisa said with a big grin. "I was a pivotal part of their relationship! Actually… I like to think we all were. It kind of took the whole village to get Scott Pilgrim to grow up."

"Did anything weird happen at their wedding? I mean… did some guy with a flamethrower jump out of the cake or something?" Lily asked, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"Not that I remember," Lisa replied, concern growing on her face. "All I remember is there was a lot of cake, and a lot of drinking… your uncle Wallace drinking a lot more than any of the rest of us… and just… happiness."

"They never told me the story of their wedding. Dad said it wasn't as fun as the stories of the exes," Lily lamented. "Frankly… I wish my life wasn't that 'fun."

"Then I'll tell you one day," Lisa said with a bit of a sad smile as she knocked on the door. After a brief moment, the door opened and Lily's mother **(Name: Ramona Flowers-Pilgrim, Status: WORRIED SICK!)** opened the door. She immediately hugged Lily **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Okay… that was unexpected)**.

"Thank God you're all right!" Ramona said. "We heard on the news that there was some sort of fight downtown, and I knew what it was. We were worried about you."

"Why? I'm a Pilgrim, right?" Lily said sharply.

Ramona backed away a step, her eyes never leaving Lily's. Lisa even looked a little worried. Ramona stammered. "Lily… honey…"

"I've beaten everyone up to now, and for what?" Lily continued. Everything was starting to become more vibrant in her eyes. "They just keep coming. One after another after another… why did you have to date so many jerks, Mom?"

"Lily… your head…" Lisa started.

"You know what? I don't know why Dad was able to do it," Lily shot, "but he was obviously stronger than I'll ever be. I don't want this… I want to be normal and be able to have a normal conversation with my boyfriend and be able to deal with the issues of my parents in a NORMAL way… in therapy or something and not with random people trying to kill me and my friends!"

The last words were said with tears forming, and Lily pushed past her mother and rushed upstairs, determined to stay in her room until everything was back to normal. As she looked in the mirror, she saw herself in monotone, but with a strange addition: her head was almost luminescent.

**THE TRUE STORY**

It was hours before Lily even noticed the time again. She looked at her phone. 8 missed calls. Obviously, the rest of Tanooki Dream had seen the news and was worried about their drummer and friend. There was a text from Sean, but Lily ignored it. All he wanted to talk about were the exes, and Lily REALLY didn't want to talk about exes right now **(Status: And she means it! No "ex" talk! That includes you!)**.

She started at a knock on the door. Even though she contemplated not answering, she knew she needed to, if only to have another outlet of emotion. "Come in," she droned.

The door opened, and in walked her aunt Kim **(Name: Kimberly Pine, Status: Worried about Lily)**. Lily smiled just a little bit as she looked up from her bed.

"So..." started Kim. "I hear that my commute to work is going to look a bit different tomorrow, thanks to some redecoration via robot."

Lily's smile faded. "Sorry."

"Eh… maybe the lack of stores will contribute to a lack of traffic. That'd be nice," Kim said.

There was a moment of silence. Lily was the first to break it. "Did you ever regret being Dad's friend? Because of the stuff that happened to him?"

Kim thought for a moment. "No," she finally said with a shake of her head. "I mean… don't get me wrong. There were times that I thought it would have been better if I'd never met Scott Pilgrim. But nothing a pint of ice cream and beating on some drums couldn't fix," she added with a smile.

"Did his issues ever put you at risk?" Lily said, her head hanging.

"Of course," Kim said. "In fact, I was probably more at risk from your dad's silly adventures than anyone else."

"How so?" Lily asked.

"I thought you didn't want to talk about ex stuff," Kim said with a bit of a knowing smile **(Kim Pine Note: Yep… I read the little box things. What? You don't?)**.

"I met some of them today," Lily said. "The Katayanagis."

Kim shuddered. "Yep… they're the ones. The thing about the exes is they were all kind of dumb. They fought with Scott, but that was it. The rest of us just kind of existed outside that world. But the twins changed that. They didn't play fair, to quote your dad."

"What happened? I thought they were in a battle of the bands thing… they didn't look like musicians to me…" Lily said, remembering the twins in the store.

"Didn't I tell you? Your dad's memory can't be trusted, ESPECIALLY from that time," Kim said. "It was a pretty bad time for him. He was fighting with your mom… he was getting tired of fighting exes, and I personally think they were still strained from Lisa being there right beforehand."

"Why were they fighting because of Aunt Lisa?" Lily pressed.

"That's a story for a different time. Suffice it to say, your parents had had a… disagreement about Lisa's role in your dad's life. It was all very weird," Kim said, thinking back. "But back to the twins… they did something that no ex had done before then… they went after someone close to your dad, to try and take him off his game. They were actually kind of smart."

Realization dawned on Lily's face. "They went after you?"

"Yeah," Kim said with a grim smile. "They knew your dad would fight to get me back, but not nearly as hard as he would if they'd kidnapped Ramona. It was kind of a rough night for everyone involved."

"And you stayed friends with him?" Lily asked.

The question caught Kim off guard. "Oh… so that's what this is about? You're afraid that your friends are going to get sick of being in the line of fire while you take on your mom's crappy dating history?"

Lily looked down. "I guess," she replied. **(Lily Pilgrim Note: When you say it like that…)**

"Your friends aren't going to leave you because of a little bit of trouble," Kim said, looking Lily right in the eyes to drive home her point. "Your TRUE friends won't, anyway. If they weren't willing to stick with you through all of this, do you think they'd still be around? I don't see Lindsey Pam anywhere near you, but I see your band mates… I see your boyfriend sticking with you." **(Lily Pilgrim Note: I thought Lindsey Pam was just written out because we couldn't think of anything else for her to do…)**

Lily looked up and smiled. "Thanks Aunt Kim."

Kim smiled back. "Don't mention it. And when you start fighting whatever sick idiot wants to avenge Gideon, come straight to me. Your dad is an utter failure of a storyteller." **(Lily Pilgrim Note: He's entertaining though…)**

**STARTING OFF**

"Wow… this is so awesome," John Jacobs **(Guitar Player for Tanooki Dream)** said as he looked out of the curtain at Sneaky Dee's. It was the biggest crowd they'd ever played in front of, and it would be a few minutes at least before the nerves hit him.

"It really is, and we get to play before Sex Bob-omb. Indie band extraordinaire!" exclaimed Kayla Simson **(Lead Singer for Tanooki Dream)**.

Lily Pilgrim **(Drummer for Tanooki Dream… and our heroine! Haven't you been paying attention?)** sat at the drum set. It had marks on the snares where its owner had pounded and rolled. The front of the bass drum was adorned with a smiling bomb. Lily had never been so nervous in her entire life.

"You okay?" asked Little C **(Bass Player for Tanooki Dream)** as he stood next to the drums. Lily absently nodded.

"Ladies and **XXXX **gentlemen!" Lily heard the manager of Sneaky Dee's on a microphone, probably just on the other side of the curtain in front of them. "I'd love to say that you should enjoy this, but I can't. Truth is… we're just doing it because Lisa Miller, my FAVORITE actress, wants to hear Sex Bob-omb, but before that… we have a NEW band on the indie scene… TANOOKI DREAM!"

The curtains opened to a big crowd, everyone whooping and hollering. Lily gulped as she scanned the crowd. She knew her mother was out there somewhere. Probably her boyfriend. And lots of strangers.

She raised her sticks to the sky. "WE ARE TANOOKI DREAM! ONE TWO THREE FOUR!"

John hit the first chord as Lily began flying on the drums. Little C jumped in with the bass line. The crowd seemed to get into it as Lily grew more comfortable with every strike of the bass drum.

_If your life is a romance novel,_

_I want to play a leading part._

_I'm always close enough to touch you,_

_But I never get your heart._

Lily continued playing the drums, losing herself into the rhythm of the song even as Kayla continued singing, but then it all stopped. She looked up and locked eyes with the Katayanagi twins standing in the middle of the crowd. The world got fuzzy as they stared at her.

_On your stage of would-be lovers_

_I'm standing right in front._

_But how can I convince you_

_That I'm the one you want?_

"Lily!" Little C whispered from the side. "What's wrong?"

"They're here," Lily said, never taking her eyes off of the twins, but never missing a beat on her drumming.

"Dang," Little C continued playing, scanning the crowd for danger.

_I'm invisible_

_Invisible_

_An insubstantial mess of a girl._

_And all I want is you_

_But I'm still invisible_

_Invisible_

Lily continued to watch the twins as they played the song. As she played, Kyle held up something for her to see.

_As hard as I scream, as loud as I roar,_

_My voice is flat on the floor._

_Cuz I'm invisible, invisible… to you!_

Something round.

Something metallic.

_SEAN'S BLUE PIXEL SWORD!_

Lily didn't even wait for the final cymbal crash to stop ringing. She threw her sticks down and jumped off the stage, making a beeline to the twins. She stopped short though as another robot, much larger than the ones before, appeared behind them.

"Hello again…" Kyle started.

"… little Pilgrim," Ken finished.

"Save it!" Lily snapped, looking at both of the twins in turn. "Where did you get that?"

"This?" Kyle asked as he tossed the ball up in the air and caught it.

"It wasn't easy to obtain." Ken continued.

"He put up an incredible fight," Kyle smiled.

Lily clinched her fist, but stopped, knowing a battle in this kind of crowd wouldn't end well for anyone. She slowly let her fist drop.

"First rule of show business…" Kyle said as he pocketed the ball.

"… the show must go on, right?" Ken finished.

"You've got a show to finish, and when it's done…"

"… we'll be waiting. See you soon."

The twins turned and walked around their large robot, which stayed facing Lily as it backed out of the doorway. Lily stood there for a long time, trying to figure out what to do. After a moment, Kayla appeared next to her.

"Lily?" Kayla asked timidly. "We've got to finish the show Lily. Then we'll ALL go and kick their butts."

"No," Lily said flatly. The world was becoming more vibrant again, and Kayla appeared to be shying away, shielding herself from Lily **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Why is everyone doing that?)**. "I've gotten you guys into enough trouble. We finish, and then I go alone."

Kayla thought for a moment and then slowly nodded, guiding Lily back towards the stage through the crowd of confused onlookers. Lily looked back out into the night, straining to see the twins and their robot, but she couldn't see them anymore…

OH NO! It looks like the Katayanagi twins have done something to Sean Williams! Is he still alive, and if he is, where is he? Can Lily keep her head clear enough to fight both of the twins, while also worrying about her friends and boyfriend's safety in the face of increasingly difficult battles? And what kind of sick mastermind was able to bring the Katayanagis back in the first place? And will Little C finally reveal his true feelings toward Lily? **(Little C Note: True feelings… what true feelings? I don't have any true feelings…)** And what song will Sex Bob-omb start off with, if and when the show gets started again? **(Scott Pilgrim Note: I don't know. Herself the Elf?)(Kim Pine Note: Forget it… I'll ask Stephen myself!)** Answers to these questions and more in the next installment of "Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World!"


	11. Chapter 10: Graves

Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim series or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to persons, living or dead, is completely coincidental. Also, I ask that you direct all hate mail to my email address. I promise I'll read all of it **(and I'll cry the whole time...)**.

A/N: Here we go. This story, if you can't tell from the title of the chapter, is about to launch into its climax. I thank all of you for sticking with me through this whole thing, and hopefully... the ending doesn't suck, cause that seems to happen a lot in entertainment. Hopefully my little yarn can avoid that. Also... this chapter is short. I know. Consider it a bit of a break... if you can think of it like that. Cause stuff's about to get real. So without further ado... let's see what happens. *sits down... with a bowl of popcorn...*

Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World

Chapter 10

Graves

Lily Pilgrim **(Age: 18, Status: One distracted girl…)** could barely concentrate on the rest of the show. Her mind kept flicking to the Katayanagi twins, and Sean, wherever he was. She couldn't imagine what they'd done to him. She didn't want to, but her brain kept finding ways to push the image of him broken and bleeding into the forefront of her mind.

And just like that, the set was over. Lily was numb to the cheers of the crowd, even as Kayla and John basked in the glow of their adulation. Little C walked over to the drum set, a concerned look on his face.

"Lily?"

"What?" Lily snapped. She didn't want to talk. She didn't want to do anything but kick the Katayanagis' butts and rescue Sean.

"I'm sorry the twins took Sean," Little C stammered a little bit.

"You could have fooled me," Lily muttered. Colors were becoming vibrant again. Her own skin tone was getting paler.

"Lily… what's happening to you?" Little C asked.

Lily glared at him. Nothing was happening to her. Nothing and everything. "I'm tired of it all! Apparently I'm never going to have a normal life. I'm never going to have anything CLOSE to it! They're just gonna keep coming, and keep taking people I care about, and it's never going to stop!"

"But it IS going to stop!" Little C said. **(Cue Dramatic Music)** "You've beaten everyone that's come after you, and now, all that's left is the twins and Gideon. So what if the twins took Sean? You rescued me from Jeff didn't you? So you'll just rescue Sean from them, and then take out Gideon, and this'll all be over!"

Little C put a hand on Lily's shoulder, but she quickly shrugged it away and stormed off. Kayla and John finally looked away from the cheering crowd to see where she was going. Little C looked after her as she walked off the stage.

Lily was leaving the backstage area when she bumped into her father, Scott Pilgrim **(Age: 45, Fun Fact: So excited that Sex Bob-omb is about to go on!)**.

"Whoa Lily… what's the hurry?" Scott said with a smile. "Aren't you going to stay and watch us rock out?"

"I don't have time, Dad," Lily snapped again. "I've got to go defeat the Katayanagis and get Sean back!"

"Katayanagis? But I killed them…" Scott said with a confused look on his face **(Scott Pilgrim Note: I kneed them both in the face… or was it the dragon falling on them?)**.

"Yeah, well… obviously you DIDN'T, because they're back making MY life a living hell!" Lily yelled.

Scott's face dropped as he looked at Lily. His eyes were wide. "Lily… your head…"

"My head is FINE!" Lily screamed. "There's not a thing wrong with it. Everything that's wrong with me right now is because of what YOU did and what MOM did, and it has NOTHING to do with my HEAD!"

"No… wait Lily!" Scott yelled as his daughter started to walk away. "You don't understand… I've seen that before… your head is…"

Lily hopped and clicked her heels together, releasing the wheels from the bottom of her shoes. She quickly skated off before her dad could finish his sentence. She didn't know where she was going, but she knew wherever it was, the Katayanagis would find her, and then this would end, one way or another.

**ENDGAME**

The streets of Toronto were dark. The winter snow had finally begun to melt as the weather gave way to spring. Lily slowed her pace to a walk, taking the time to think. Just two weeks ago, she'd been a normal high school kid, about to graduate and go off to university. She'd had what she believed to be normal parents. And then Sandra Patel had shown up, and things had gone from 0 to 60 in less than a second. Suddenly there were ex proxies everywhere. Lily had battled them all, but it was beginning to take a toll.

As Lily was walking, she saw two figures in the distance. She tensed up, but one of them waved at her. She stopped walking for a moment, and the couple both smiled as they reached her.

"Hey little niece!" said Stacey Nordegraf **(Age: 40, Status: Hoping her little brother doesn't get into any trouble until she gets there)**.

"Yeah… hey Lily," Neil Nordegraf chimed in **(Age: 41, Status: Still Sex Bob-omb's biggest fan… NOT KNIVES!)(Knives Porter Note: You wish. Did you make your own Sex Bob-omb T-shirt? I didn't think so.)(Neil Nordegraf Note: Shut up!)**

"Hey Aunt Stacey. Hey Uncle Neil," Lily said softly, still trying to get away.

"You aren't going to stick around for Sex Bob-omb? I mean… they never were all that good, but it's your dad," Stacey said with a smile.

"No… I need some fresh air. I might be back before the end of the set though," Lily lied. She had no idea when she'd be back.

"You should definitely check them out," Neil said. "How about we save you a seat?"

"Okay," Lily nodded. She said good bye to her aunt and uncle and continued on her walk to nowhere.

Soon, she rounded a corner and ended up in Hillcrest Park. That was where it had all began… literally. So many years ago **(Lily Pilgrim Note: I'd do the math, but I don't feel like it)**, Scott Pilgrim and Ramona Flowers had had their first date. And everything after that point had led to this: their daughter walking around Toronto, looking for her boyfriend who was being held by two psychotic jerks. She wondered if they'd had any idea what was going to happen…

"So good to see you again…" a voice said in the night.

"… Ms. Pilgrim," another finished.

Lily whipped around. Kyle Katayanagi walked out from behind a tree near the gate **(Name: Kyle Katayanagi, Fun Fact: No fun fact… he's just an XXX)**. His brother Ken appeared off to the side, leaning on a swing set. **(Name: Ken Katayanagi, Fun Fact: See above)**.

"Where is he?" Lily said. Even in the darkness, she could see the colors getting more pronounced.

"This is interesting…" Kyle said as he advanced towards Lily.

"… Must be genetic," Ken added.

Lily looked from one to the other, confused again. What were they talking about?

"No matter… your boyfriend's around…" Ken said as he began slowly closing distance.

"We'll make sure you see him before you die," Kyle added with an evil smile.

The two struck quickly. Ken went for a sweep to take out Lily's legs, but she jumped over it. However, this left her wide open for a kick from Kyle, who sent her flying into the bushes. She shook her head, trying to get it clear before another attack.

"I thought you guys didn't want to fight me!" she exclaimed, hoping to stall.

"That was before…" Kyle replied.

"Now, we know only a 'hands on' approach will work," Ken finished.

Lily got out of the bushes and rushed after Kyle, trying to land a punch. In a matter of moments though, Ken was there to help. The twins sandwiched Lily with kicks to the torso before spinning and hitting a double kick to her chest that sent her flying back into the bushes! **(TWIN KICK ACTIVATED!) **Lily staggered to her feet and tried for a flying kick of her own, but Ken caught her foot and held onto it while Kyle unleashed a kick of his own, driving the air out of her. A second kick from Ken sent her rolling to the ground.

_Well this isn't going well…_

"You're right… it's not," Kyle answered.

_Crap! I was doing so well before… apparently I've gone backwards._

"In more ways than one," Ken responded.

Kyle jumped in the air, trying to come down on Lily with his knee, but she rolled out of the way. She went to deliver a kick of her own, and it landed, but she had struck with her bad ankle. Pain shot through her leg as she yelped and rolled away, grabbing her ankle.

"That had to hurt," Kyle said as he shook off the kick and smiled.

"This is almost too easy," Ken agreed from a short distance away.

Lily gritted her teeth and got up, going after Kyle with a series of punches. Kyle dodged them expertly though, and then Ken appeared from nowhere and kicked her injured ankle. The pain doubled her over, allowing Kyle to grab her by the shirt and throw her to the ground again.

"Do you need motivation?" Ken asked Lily as he stalked over to where she was desperately trying to stand.

Kyle took out a remote control and clicked a button. In a moment, a large robot walked into the park, carrying the motionless body of Sean Williams **(Lily Pilgrim Note: NO!)**.

"See? We keep our promises," Kyle said as he grabbed Lily by the shirt and pulled her up. He began dragging her towards the robot.

"We promised to get revenge on your father…" Ken said.

"Check," Kyle smiled. **(Sean…)**

"We promised you would get to see your boyfriend before you died," Ken continued.

Kyle pulled Lily's head up and pointed her towards Sean. "Check," he said menacingly. **(Hold on… Sean…)**

"And now… we promise you won't make it to tomorrow," Ken said as Kyle tossed the remote towards him.

Lily saw her chance. She reached into Kyle's pocket and pulled out the pixel sword. Before he could react, she flashed it to life, and it extended right through his torso! Kyle dropped to his knees as Lily shoved him away and turned to Ken. Ken's eyes went wide as he realized what was about to happen. **(Ken Katayanagi Note: Not again…)** Lily jumped forward and nailed him right in the face with a flying kick! He sailed through the air and hit the tree hard before slumping down to the ground. **(LEVEL UP: Lily Pilgrim - - TOTALLY AWESOME!)**

Lily paused for a moment. Ken was down next to the tree. Kyle was slumped on the ground, the pixel sword still humming through his chest. She stood there, hands on her hips.

"What? No coins?" she said. Her moment of brevity was over though, as she rushed to Sean, who still laid in the hands of the robot. She reached out to grab him…

And her hand passed right through him.

"WHAT?" she yelled as she looked at her hand.

There was a clapping noise off to her left. She whirled to face its source. A man, still hidden in the shadows, was walking towards her, lightly applauding.

"Bravo, Lily," he purred. "I mean… I knew you were talented, but you beat the twins almost simultaneously. Almost as good as your father."

"Then why aren't they turning into coins?" Lily asked, still confused by the sudden change. She began nervously standing up to face the man.

"Silly girl… this is the real world. People don't turn into coins when they die, do they?" the man laughed. "After all, you didn't believe in these stories until a few weeks ago. Maybe this has all been a dream. Maybe, in just a second, you're going to wake up in your normal life with your normal parents, and there'll be no more exes. No more drama."

"If it has been… there's going to be a lot of pissed off readers out there," Lily said, preparing herself for the fight that was sure to come. The mannerisms, the condescending attitude… she knew who she was facing. And she was going to end it.

"Mmm… yes. Have to think about those readers," the man nodded in agreement.

"So Gideon… time to fight?" Lily said, smiling at the thought of putting all of this behind her.

"Gideon?" the man asked. "I'm afraid not, dearie. You see… Gideon was killed. He died in the Chaos Theater almost 22 years ago, at the hands of Scott Pilgrim and Ramona Flowers."

Lily stood up straight. If this wasn't Gideon…

"Did your father ever tell you that story?" the man asked. "It was really a sad tale. A visionary man, struck down in his prime by a bunch of kids. All because he loved a little too much. He adored your mother. He wanted her right there with him through it all. But he never got the chance. Because of Scott Pilgrim." The last words were said with a dripping malice.

"But he was an evil man!" Lily yelled. "He used a microchip to force my mom into being with him, and Dad rescued her."

The man paused. "Microchip? Who said anything about a microchip? I mean… it was definitely in the realm of possibility, but what was he, a Bond villain? Seriously. No… he was simply attacked by Scott Pilgrim, and then Ramona showed up, and they both cut him down in cold blood."

"That's not true…" Lily said.

"Which version are you going to believe? Your father's already told you lies. What about the skater, Lucas Lee? The "friendship" between your mother and Roxie Richter? The fact that the Katayanagis kidnapped your Aunt Kim, and he said it was all a 'Battle of the Bands' thing?" the man was slowly advancing towards the light.

Lily started backing away. As she did, she bumped Kyle Katayanagi, who slumped to the ground. As he hit, his head popped off to reveal loose wiring and circuitry. Lily looked down at him in horror. **(Lily Pilgrim Note: This is getting too weird for words…)**

"What? What is this?" she asked as she tried not to step on "Kyle's" headless body.

"It was amazingly difficult to find people to match all of the exes," the man said as he continued to advance. "I mean… Sandra and Winifred were easy. Lynette had gone underground, but some digging brought her out. Jeff was also pretty difficult to find, but a quick trip through the eHarmony profiles finally revealed him, and the twins? Well… as far as I could tell… they had no family other than each other. They had no friends. They only trusted each other. So I simply recreated them."

Lily stopped short. She'd heard that before.

_As far as I can tell, the Katayanagis had no family other than each other. They had no friends. They only trusted each other. I've tried every avenue, and I have no idea who will be attacking you next._

Lily shook her head. No… this wasn't happening…

_How do you know all of this? I mean… you were there when Sandra attacked. You were there when Winifred attacked. You gave me all kinds of info on Lynette._

_I have my ways…_

The man continued to advance into the light. His pants were shining white in the glow from the street lamp.

_And where did you GET that sword?_

_Family heirloom, technically._

The man finally stepped into the light. He had shoulder length brown hair and black glasses. He held out his hand, where Lily could see a small piece of metal protruding from the sleeve of his shirt into his palm. Instantly, the metallic ball housing the pixel sword turned off and flew into his hand.

Sean Williams **(Lily Pilgrim Note: WHAT?) **smiled at his ball before flashing the pixel sword back to life and looking at Lily. "Now, Lily Pilgrim… oh how am I supposed to say this?" he said as he paused in thought for a moment. Then he cleared his throat and struck a fighting pose. "Ahem… when would be a good time for you to die?"

WOW! So the Katayanagis are defeated, but it turns out, the mastermind behind it all is Lily's boyfriend **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Well… obviously EX-boyfriend now… oh God I AM my mother…)** Sean Williams? Who saw THAT coming? **(Little C Note: Who DIDN'T see it coming?)** But how can Lily fight a guy that she might be in love with? And what will this mean for her relationships with her family and friends? Will we EVER get to see Sex Bob-omb play? And how much would you have all killed me if this WERE all a dream? The answers to these questions and more in the next installment of "Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World!"


	12. Chapter 11: Williams

Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim series or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to persons, living or dead, is completely coincidental. Also, I wanted to remind you that becoming a vegan does NOT translate into any real psychic powers. Therefore, you cannot convert to a vegan lifestyle and then go pick a fight with the biggest biker you can find. It doesn't end well. Trust me.

A/N: This is it. We're getting to the nitty gritty here. Thank you to everyone still reading this. Hopefully you all still enjoy it. Again, if you have any feedback, let me know. And hopefully we'll all toast to the last chapter soon. :-) Enjoy the next part of my little tale (that has somehow ballooned into 13 separate chapters).

Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World

Chapter 11

Williams

Lily Pilgrim **(Age: 18, Status: Heartbroken)** slowly backed away from her exboyfriend Sean **(Name: Sean Williams... Graves? Which is it? Both? Rating: 9/10 and dropping, Relationship to Gideon Graves: Unknown)** as he advanced, still holding his blue pixel sword trained directly at her chest.

"So... everything... everything you told me was a lie," Lily managed to stammer out.

"No," Sean replied. "Actually, everything I told you was true. I mean... not the part about not knowing who was coming after you next. I always knew that. But I've found the best way to lie to someone is to tell them the truth. You were never going to ASK me if I was related to Gideon Graves, so I never had to worry about lying to you."

"So who are you?" Lily was starting to fight back her tears. "Have I been dating the son of Gideon Graves all this time?"

"Not exactly. The truth is much more complicated than that," Sean said as he began to circle around Lily, lowering his sword for the first time since drawing it. "I was there, at the Chaos Theater, when your parents killed Gideon. I vowed my revenge right there, and I had the means to achieve it. You see... our family is a family of inventors, and I had managed to invent what no man thought possible... a time machine." **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Huh? So I've been kissing... an old man?)**

Lily looked around for any type of exit from the situation, but Sean waved his hand disdainfully.

"Don't bother looking. I've taken care of every subspace door in the general area. Not that it would help you much anyway. So you're going to stand here and listen to my little tale," he said condescendingly. "I went immediately to my machine and decided to travel back to a time where I could eliminate your father and keep the whole thing from happening. Unfortunately, time doesn't work that way. Instead of transporting me back at my current age, it transformed my age, leaving me a baby."

"So your uncle... the one who gave you that sword... that was Gideon?" Lily asked.

"Not my uncle. Lily... Gideon was my brother," Sean said.

"I've been dating Gideon's brother? As in the brother of my mom's last exboyfriend? This is so wrong," Lily said as she looked at the ground.

"Enough chit chat. It's time to die, Lily Pilgrim, ready or not," Sean said as he raised the sword again.

Sean swung the sword at Lily, but she ducked underneath the strike and countered with a punch. Unfortunately, her ankle chose that moment to crumble again, leaving her off balance. Sean easily blocked the punch, grabbed her wrist and threw her to the ground. She grimaced in pain as she hit the ground, grabbing at her ankle.

Sean chuckled as he walked over to her prone form. "Poor little Pilgrim. I'm afraid this is going to hurt you much more than it's going to hurt me."

"You're just full... of bad guy cliches aren't you?" Lily tried to get up, but Sean pinned her down with a foot on her shoulder.

"What can I say? Cliches are also classics," Sean said as he turned his sword downward.

Lily closed her eyes. This was it!

She felt the foot on her shoulder loosen and fall away. When no strike came, she opened her eyes.

She was in subspace. The desolate wasteland stretched out in all directions.

"How the hell did that happen?" she asked herself as she gingerly got to her feet. She had never seen this particular area of subspace, and she needed to figure out where she was before...

"That's an interesting little trick you pulled off there," Sean said from a short distance away.

"You know me... full of surprises," Lily replied through gritted teeth. She ever so slightly tapped her heels together, releasing the wheels in her shoes, but staying where she was. She hoped he hadn't seen it.

"To that I just have one question: How did you get the Glow?"

"The Glow?" Lily asked **(Lily Pilgrim Note: What the hell is the Glow?)**.

"Yes. My brother's ultimate weapon. I gave it to Jeff when he came after you so he could use it as an escape portal, just like you did a second ago," Sean said as he began to advance again. "How you obtained it though, I'm not really sure."

No warning this time. Sean immediately swung his sword at Lily, but she dodged and turned, skating as fast as she could through the sand. Of course, with her injured ankle, every stride was painful, but she knew she had to get away, and she knew there was really only one way to do it.

"You can't run from me, Lily Pilgrim!" she heard Sean yell from slightly behind her. Unfortunately, he was running nearly as fast as she could skate. "Not forever!"

Lily looked ahead. There was a small group of what appeared to be piggy banks with wings flying towards them **(Lily Pilgrim Note: What would you call that? A flock of pigs? A gaggle? And seriously... who designed this place?)**. As they reached her, she dodged in and out of them, pushing off to provide some of them with a little added momentum heading back into Sean's face. She stole a glance over her shoulder to see him slicing through the pigs with his pixel sword, transforming them into coins **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Mental note... when I need money... come to subspace... look for pigs)**.

"Is that all you've got?" Sean screamed as he lunged forward **(Lily Pilgrim Note: At the moment, yes.)**. Lily spun around and caught his hands, falling backward and flipping him over her. The two tumbled to a stop on the desert floor.

"Why are you after me anyway?" Lily asked as she rolled over and started trying to get up.

"Why not? When I heard the Pilgrims had a daughter, I couldn't resist," Sean replied. "Don't worry though... I'll get to them soon enough. I'll take out the whole clan... I'll even take out your awful band, Tanooki Dream."

"We're not that bad!" Lily screamed. Sean tried to kick her in the head as she got up, but she quickly rolled backwards, dodging the strike and creating some distance between them. Sean rushed after her, but she lashed out with a kick **(Lily Pilgrim Note: GOOD leg this time) **to his stomach, driving him back. He recovered quickly and lunged forward, bringing the sword down at her, but she rolled to the side and again kicked him in the side of the head with her good leg.

"Would you just sit still and die?" Sean growled.

"No. I don't have an extra life, so if I die, the story's over... and we've still got readers to think about!" Lily shot back. She had come up with a plan in the meantime, and she closed her eyes as tightly as she could, thinking of Sneaky Dee's. If this didn't work, the story might ACTUALLY be over. Sean launched a counter attack, jumping into the air and stabbing the sword straight down, but for the second time, he hit nothing but air and sand.

"**XXXX!**" he yelled.

Lily Pilgrim opened her eyes to find herself lying on the floor of Sneaky Dee's **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Ohhhh... sooooo nasty)**. A crowd was already forming around her, some of them with camera phones snapping pictures. She got up quickly, but almost collapsed again as pain shot through her leg. She limped to the stage, starting to cry from the pain of her leg and the pain of the last hour.

_My body's stupid, stereo putrid_

_Spilling out music into raw sewage_

_I'm reaching my threshold_

_Staring at the truth till I'm blind__._

Lily looked up at the stage. There they were. Her Uncle Stephen belting out lyrics. Her Aunt Kim wailing away on the drum set she had occupied just moments ago. And her father **(Name: Scott Pilgrim, Status: Rocking the XXXX out!)** playing the bass guitar with an almost frenetic energy. As they saw her though, they immediately stopped playing. In a flash, Scott was off the stage and at her side.

"Lily? Are you okay?" he asked.

Lily tried to answer, but then the room spun and everything went black.

**SABBATICAL**

Lily Pilgrim woke with a start in her own bedroom. Her parents, Scott and Ramona, were both sitting in chairs next to the bed.

"Lily? It's alright, Lily," Ramona said as Lily looked around, trying to figure out what had happened.

"Mom? Dad?" Lily was frantic. "Where is everyone? What happened?"

"Honey, you came back to Sneaky Dee's and passed out," Ramona continued. "I was about to ask you the same question."

"It's Sean... Sean is Gideon's brother," Lily said as the realization hit her again. Her head dropped as she thought back to fighting him the night before.

Ramona thought for a moment. "I'm sorry honey. I seem to remember him saying something about a brother, but I never met him. Their whole family was kind of distant."

Lily turned to her father, who had been silent to this point. "Dad... tell me the story of Gideon."

"Well... he had signed Sex Bob-omb to a record deal, but he'd also implanted a chip in your mother's brain..." Scott began.

"Dad... the real story," Lily said. "I know you told me once... I need the real story."

Scott sighed. "It was a dark time. Your mother had left me, and I wasn't really in a good place, so I went on a wilderness sabbatical. It's something your uncle Wallace forced me to go to. He sent me to Kim's house. We spent some time in the woods, and I had to come to terms with who I was and what I'd done to get to that point. When I came back though, and fought Gideon... he actually killed me."

Lily didn't remember all of this in the story she'd heard at age 5, but it kept her enthralled nonetheless. "He... killed you?"

"Yeah. I'd gotten an extra life fighting Todd Ingram though, so I came back, and your mother came back with me. We fought Gideon all the way into subspace and back again, and we finally defeated him by working together. That's when our lives became... normal."

"Or our own version of normal," Ramona added **(Lily Pilgrim Note: After having 7 psychos trying to kill you, ANYTHING would be normal... I should know now...)**.

"That doesn't help me though," Lily groaned. "Sean's not Gideon, and I don't have anyone to help me."

"You do have a relative that lives near some wilderness though," Ramona said.

Scott perked up. "That's right... a wilderness sabbatical! That's what you need!"

"How in the world does that help me?" Lily asked with a smirk.

"That's exactly what I said too," Scott said, getting excited. "That settles it. You'll go on a wilderness sabbatical! Just... promise me you won't kiss anyone while you're there," he added in a low voice. Ramona just rolled her eyes.

"Seeing as how my ex-boyfriend is the one trying to kill me, I don't think it'll be a problem," Lily responded.

A day later, after packing, talking to Tanooki Dream, asking off from work and being excused from school **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Who needs school this close to graduation anyway?)**, Lily Pilgrim stood outside of a house on the edge of town. **(By the way, I would have gone into all that stuff before, but really... it was tedious, and kind of boring, so I figured we'd just skip ahead in the story. You're okay with that, right?)** The decor was simple, but modern. Looking off to her left, Lily saw the 'wilderness' her parents had talked about. There were trees as far as she could see, even though if she looked back to the right, she was reminded that this was just the edge of Toronto.

"Lily Pilgrim! If it isn't my fourth favorite Pilgrim girl!" yelled Wallace Wells **(Rating: 7.5/10, Fun Fact: Still gay, Other Fun Fact: Wearing Biker Shorts)(Wallace Wells Note: Biker Shorts... it's like having no pants on, but the police can't fine you for it)**. He walked down the steps and hugged Lily.

"Fourth favorite?" Lily asked.

"What can I say?" Wallace replied. "It's a first come, first served type of thing. So I hear you're here because your boyfriend..."

"EX boyfriend..." Lily interjected.

"Ex-boyfriend went all rogue on us and is going to try and kill us all," Wallace finished.

"That pretty much covers it," Lily said with a frown.

"Eh... wouldn't be the first time we've been in mortal danger because of something that was ultimately Scott's fault," Wallace said knowingly. Then he noticed Lily's crutch and bandaged ankle. "Fought the Katayanagi robots, eh?"

"Ye... wait, how did you know that?" Lily asked.

"I've got connections. Shoot... I know stuff that hasn't even been written yet," Wallace said with a wink. **(Not so subtle plug... stay tuned to ApellaZant for more stories in the Scott Pilgrim universe and beyond!) **"So let's see if we can't get you off that leg and get this wilderness sabbatical thing started."

Wallace helped Lily inside and sat her on the couch. After fixing himself a margarita **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Isn't it 2 in the afternoon?)**, Wallace sat down across from her on his brown arm chair.

"So why are you fighting Sean?" Wallace said as he sipped from his glass.

"I don't really know," Lily responded.

"There's your first problem right there," Wallace answered as he set the glass down on a short table next to the chair and leaned forward. "You have to know why you're fighting, or you're just going to halfway fight, and that's not enough this time."

"I guess I'm fighting because he obviously broke my heart," Lily muttered, sounding hurt.

"That kind of fighting is for the Americans and Jerry Springer," Wallace said. "You've got to have something more than that."

"I DID start fighting a little better after he threatened everyone," Lily said, remembering the fight.

"Good. Protection of friends and family. It's an adrenaline high. It'll make you stronger... faster... better!" Wallace said as he stood up and began pacing around the room like a war room general **(Lily Pilgrim Note: In biker shorts... funny, but disturbing)**.

At that moment, a man with almost shoulder length brown hair and glasses walked into the room. Lily yelped with fear and began trying to hobble to her feet, but Wallace stepped between them.

"Okay Lily... we went through this with your father," he said, holding his hands out. "This is not Gideon. This is not Sean. This is my partner, Mobile."

The man straightened his glasses and held out a hand that Lily shook. "Pleasure," he said. **(Name: Mobile, Other information locked)**

Lily sat back down slowly, wincing a bit as her ankle twinged. Mobile sat down his bag and knelt down in front of her.

"I asked him if he could take a look at that ankle of yours," Wallace said with pride.

"Are you a doctor?" Lily asked Mobile.

"No. Psychic," Mobile responded.

After a short pause, Lily asked, "Are you vegan?"

"No. I have my own reasons for being psychic," Mobile had unwrapped her ankle and was now placing his hands on it. As Lily looked on, amazed, Mobile almost seemed to vibrate in the air, radiating energy through his hands. In a moment, he pulled away and Lily moved her foot, testing in all directions. The pain was gone **(Lily Pilgrim Note: That's it... vegan or no vegan, I've GOT to learn how to do that stuff)**.

"Okay... so my ankle is better. But does that really help?" Lily asked, looking down at her newly healed appendage. "I mean... I can't fight him. I can't fight anyone."

Lily noticed the colors around her getting more vibrant. That was the Glow, right? Mobile and Wallace apparently noticed something too. In a flash, Mobile grabbed Lily's head and forced her to look at him.

"Relax Lily... this isn't going to hurt," he said.

"What the hell?" Lily exclaimed as she looked into Mobile's eyes. Again, he seemed to vibrate in the air, and the colors surrounding him slowly muted.

"Wow... that guy must be related to Gideon," Wallace said as Mobile finally let go of Lily's head. "I haven't seen that since that final battle at the Chaos Theater. Mobile had to go around and help everyone like that just to keep the crowd from rioting."

"What is it?" Lily asked, rubbing her head. The euphoria of having her ankle healed was replaced by a dull throbbing in her head.

"Psychic warfare," Mobile answered. "Somehow Gideon was able to harness people's inner conflict and turn it on them. Apparently Sean was able to perfect that process as well."

"You can stay here until you're ready to go back and face Sean," Wallace said as Mobile got up and stood beside him. "And then, remember this... you don't face him alone. You're a Pilgrim. That means you're NEVER alone."

**VISITOR**

Lily was sleeping in the guest bedroom when she heard a rapping on the window. Afraid

for a moment that it might be Sean, she grabbed a paperweight from the bedside table and tip toed to the window, opening it ready to swing.

"WAIT!" Little C yelled, throwing one of his hands up and nearly losing his grip on the window sill.

Lily put the paperweight down. "Little C... what are you doing here?"

Little C looked down from his perch. "Right now? I'm hanging out of a second story window. Is there any way you can, maybe, help me up?"

Lily helped Little C finish his journey into the room before sitting down in the floor with him.

"Alright... now what are you doing here?" Lily asked again.

"I'm just here to see how you're doing. Everyone's going nuts not having you around. John's worried we're gonna get a gig and you're not going to be there, and Kayla... well... Kayla's about this close to smacking him for it," Little C responded, holding his fingers about an inch apart.

"Well you've seen how I am," Lily whispered. "Now you've got to get out of here! If Sean followed you..."

"That **XXX** didn't follow me," Little C retorted **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Huh... I guess everyone's learning how to do that)**. "Besides... that's not the only reason I'm here."

"Why ELSE are you here?" Lily pressed.

"Because I lo... I mean... I was worried about you," Little C said.

Lily's expression softened a bit.

"I don't know what you're learning on this sabbatical," Little C continued, "but I want you to know a few things going in. First... Tanooki Dream always has your back. We helped you fight Sandra, we helped you fight Lynette...we'll help you fight Sean if we have to. Even if we don't have to."

"Little C... I..." Lily started.

"No... let me finish. I've got to say what I'm here to say, and I'm not leaving until I say it," Little C cut her off. "Also... I like you, Lily Pilgrim. I always have. Ever since we were sharing crayons in the first grade. That's why I let your dad teach me how to play the bass and I joined Tanooki Dream... I wanted to be closer to you." **(Little C Rating Increased: 10/10!)**

"Don't tell me that... if Sean finds out, he'll use it against us," Lily pleaded.

"I don't care. Let him find out. If he comes for me, I'll be ready," Little C defiantly replied. "I just wanted you to know where we all stand. Tanooki Dream is behind you, just like always. But me? I want to be beside you."

Lily smiled, but she was completely taken off guard by what happened next. Little C lunged forward and kissed her! **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Is this how I'm going to be kissed every time of my life? That's it... next time... I start the kiss!)** It felt as though a single flashbulb went off behind her eyes, but then it built steadily into a multitude. Too soon though, the kiss was over. Little C pulled back and went to the window.

"Come back soon, Lil," Little C said right before hopping out of the window and climbing down. Lily followed and watched him cross the yard and head back toward town. Then, she ran to her cell phone. Seconds later, she had dialed Sean's number and had the phone to her ear. His outgoing message played, but she was just waiting for the tone.

"Sean. It's Lily. I know you're sitting there, just waiting for me to come back. Well I'm coming back tonight, so how about we meet at the old Chaos Theater and finish this thing once and for all?"

**CONFRONTATION**

Lily Pilgrim **(Age: 18, Status: Determined)** walked through the ruined hall of the old Chaos Theater. There were a few monuments to its former one night of glory. A large stage with a gigantic contraption surrounding it and suspended above it. A huge pyramid that had no discernable purpose to Lily. There were still random articles of clothing and objects strewn on the floor. Lily saw a hammer, very similar to her mother's, among the wreckage.

The room was silent, except for Lily's footsteps. But she was certain she was not alone. That voice mail message would have been heard. It would have been heeded. And so when she heard the blue pixel sword hum to life behind her, she didn't jump.

"Lily Pilgrim... at last you've come to face your death," Sean **(Name: Sean Williams, Status: Total dick)** purred above the thrumming of his sword.

Lily turned around and faced Sean, pulling a blue sword of her own out of her subspace bag: The Power of Understanding!

"No... I've come to face yours," she said under her breath.

"Nice sword," Sean admired. "Where'd you get it?"

"Family heirloom, technically," Lily responded. "So... we fight?"

Sean raised his pixel sword and pointed it at Lily. "We fight."

Here it comes readers... the final confrontation! Lily's come a long way in the last few weeks, from just your normal 18 year old girl to a girl truly worthy of the legacy of the Pilgrim family **(though still 18... you've gotta think she's getting to a birthday soon, right? I mean... I keep telling you her age as though it's going to change any minute)**. Will she be able to defeat Gideon's long lost brother Sean? Or will Sean put an end to Lily Pilgrim's journey in the worst possible way? Will Little C's profession of love have any influence on the outcome of this climactic battle? Why in the world is Mobile psychic? And do I seriously believe the four lines at the beginning of the story are enough to hold over the Sex Bob-omb addicts? Find out in the thrilling conclusion of "Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World!"


	13. Chapter 12: The End

Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim series or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to persons, living or dead, is completely coincidental. Remember kids... romance and adventure is all good, but it won't mean anything unless you get an education, so please... do like Lily Pilgrim, and stay in school.

A/N: This is it. What you've been waiting for since... I can't remember when I started this thing anymore. The end is upon us. Hopefully, you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it, and hopefully, it doesn't prove to be the peak of my literary acheivement. So... I'm not going to bore you anymore with my musings. Here's the conclusion to my first fan fiction, "Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World!"

Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World

Chapter 12

The End

_**21 Years Ago...**_

Gideon Graves stood in the middle of his club, facing Scott Pilgrim and Ramona Flowers. He was disarmed... finally defeated.

"Getting rid of me won't save you," he gasped. "You're your own worst enemies. Both of you."

Scott and Ramona looked at each other for a moment, then turned back to Gideon.

"No, I'm pretty sure you're worse, dude," Ramona said.

Scott nodded his head in agreement. "You're definitely worse."

Gideon dropped to his knees.

"For messing with my head... with Ramona's head," Scott said. "For the League of Evil Ex-Boyfriends... for the good of all mankind... I'LL PUNISH YOU!"

"I concur," Ramona said from behind him.

In an instant, Scott and Ramona cut across in front of Gideon, slicing him to ribbons with their swords. He screamed for an instant before bursting into coins. Ramona and Scott hugged in victory.

Another man stood in the crowd. He glared at both of them from behind his glasses...

_**Present Day...**_

Sean Williams Graves **(Rating: Dropping into the negative numbers)** and Lily Pilgrim **(Age: 18, Status: Ready to go)** stood across the floor from each other in almost the exact spot their relatives had fought upon all those years ago.

"This is unexpected," Sean said as they began to circle each other, swords at the ready. "I expected you to come with the whole clan... present a united front against me."

"This is just between you and me," Lily snapped. "You won't hurt any of them."

"Maybe not as long as you stay alive!" Sean yelled back as he suddenly closed the gap between them.

The air pulsated with their sword strikes. Sean struck downward with the pixel sword, but Lily blocked expertly with her own. Immediately, she whipped around backwards, attempting to catch Sean in the mid-section, but he deftly dodged out of the way. Another swipe from Lily was turned aside by Sean, who counterattacked with a spinning kick that Lily ducked under.

"You're very good at this. I know I've been fencing for years, but how did YOU learn how to fight like this?" Sean called between strikes.

"Fifth grade broadsword proficiency, just like my dad," Lily responded before she jumped over a low strike and rolled, whipping herself around and trying to catch Sean as he pushed the attack.

Sean stopped just in time, as Lily's sword sliced a line in his suit. "Impressive," he muttered as he looked down at his suit.

"I think sliced is a good look for you," Lily said as she rushed forward.

Sean swung his sword toward her, but Lily rolled underneath, trying to catch him in the leg. He was too quick though, spinning around and first slicing her and then kicking her on the cheek! Lily rolled on the ground, slightly dazed as blood started to trickle down her cheek **(Lily Pilgrim Note: What? I'm a girl... I'm not supposed to bleed in these things, am I?)**

Sean stopped for a moment, taking the opportunity to compose himself as he stalked toward Lily. "Are you sure you wanna fight me, Lily? I mean... we were such a good couple. I could be persuaded to keep you alive if you wanted. Your parents would have to die of course, but hey... they've lied to you all your life anyway."

Sean reached Lily and swung down toward her stomach, but at the last second, she kicked off of a pillar near her feet, sliding herself out of harm's way before jumping back to her feet. "They care for me though. That's more than I can say for you, right?" she snapped.

"Maybe. Maybe not," Sean said with a dismissive swish of his sword. "Don't you think, if they cared for you, they'd be here. I mean... whoever heard of the great Scott Pilgrim and Ramona Flowers shying away from a fight?"

"They're not here because I wanted them to be safe!" Lily exclaimed as she jumped toward Sean. The lunge wasn't timed well though, and Sean easily sidestepped it. As Lily turned to try and compensate, he struck hard enough with his sword to knock hers from her hands and then kicked her hard into a pillar.

"They're not safe, Lily," Sean said as he stalked Lily, his sword ready to deliver the final blow. "My issue is with all of them... not just you." He smiled as he raised the sword to bring it down on Lily's head.

"NOT MY DAUGHTER YOU **XXX!**"

Suddenly, Scott Pilgrim **(Age: 45, Rating: STILL Awesome) **suddenly appeared, swinging a bass guitar toward Sean, who narrowly moved out of the way. Scott was immediately ready to continue the fight though.

"Mr. Pilgrim... nice of you to join us," said Sean with a smirk.

"Save it. I dealt with your brother, and now I'll deal with you," Scott replied.

"I seem to remember you had help when you fought my brother," Sean retorted.

"He did!"

Out of the darkness in the theater came another figure... Ramona Flowers-Pilgrim **(Age: 46, Status: Tired of people messing with her daughter)**. She pulled the Power of Love sword from her subspace bag and flourished it toward Sean. For a moment though, she looked at Scott. "Honey... seriously... how long have you been waiting to use that line?"

"A... a while," Scott stammered. "It worked, didn't it?"

"Yeah, but it was maybe a BIT over-dramatic..." Ramona smirked.

"EXCUSE ME... aren't we going to fight now?" Sean said as he sized up his new opponents. He looked at Scott. "Where's your sword?"

Scott paused. "I don't have one. I gave it to Lily."

"Pity," Sean said as he narrowed his eyes.

Sean moved quickly to swing at Scott, but the elder Pilgrim blocked his strike with the bass guitar. It suffered a bit of damage, but the sword wasn't able to cut through. Scott pushed back, sending Sean off balance even as Ramona jumped in with her sword. Sean ducked her slash and sidestepped, trying to force them to face him one at a time by trapping one of them in the middle.

In the meantime, Lily shook the cobwebs loose in her head. Part of her couldn't help but look in awe at what was happening. Watching her mom and dad whirling around, fighting a man that held a striking resemblance to Gideon Graves... it was like watching one of her dad's bedtime stories come to life. She could almost see the crowds of people looking on. The stark reality of the situation, however, was driven home as Sean kicked Scott's guitar out of his way and landed an elbow to his chest, driving Scott back into the wall.

"Dad!" she yelled as Sean went for the killing blow. Scott was saved though as Ramona stepped in and blocked the strike, whirling this way and that, unleashing jabs and swipes that drove Sean backwards.

Lily knew what she had to do. She saw where the Power of Understanding sword had fallen, and made a beeline to it. As she picked up the sword, she noticed that the rest of her family was coming through the door, Kim, Lisa and Knives at the forefront. **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Wow... Uncle Wallace wasn't kidding)(Wallace Wells Note: I never kid. Well... not about this stuff anyway...)**

"Scott Pilgrim! If you die again, I'll kill you myself!" yelled Kim **(Status: Really hopes the Pilgrims survive this)**.

Lily turned back toward the fight. Scott was still trying to recover on the wall, and Ramona now had a few fresh slices to her wardrobe from close calls, but no other damage. She was faltering though. Sean had the advantage of years of experience in a body that was probably only aged a few years beyond Lily's **(Lily Pilgrim: Just realized she never asked Sean how old he was... of course, that's apparently a complicated question for him)**.

Ramona tried for a sideways slash at Sean's chest, but Sean blocked it and leveraged the sword out of her hands. As the sword landed nearby with a loud clang, Sean elbowed her in the chest and sent her into the wall next to Scott. He chuckled to himself as he flourished his sword.

"Looks like all my little ducks are in a row, save for one," he said as he started to turn back to Lily.

He almost didn't have time to react. Lily was on him immediately, striking with a fury that no one had ever seen before. Overhand strikes, side swipes, parries, lunges, all performed in rapid fire, with Sean barely able to keep up with blocking everything.

"Go Lily go!" Knives yelled from the sidelines.

Sean pulled one last surprise though, catching Lily's arm and spinning underneath it, cutting her formerly injured ankle with his sword as he went. Lily dropped to a knee, yelping in pain as Sean stood up behind her.

"End of the line, Pilgrim," he growled.

"I don't think so, Sean!"

Sean whirled around to see Little C standing a few yards away, holding the Power of Love sword that Ramona had been using. **(Little C Earned The Power of Love! Guts +1 Heart +3 Confidence +Infinity)**

"What?" Sean said as he cocked his head to the side.

In the moment of confusion, Lily mustered everything she had and kicked backwards, catching Sean between the legs with a vicious kick! **(OOOOOHHH... Did he really deserve that?)(EVERYONE NOTE: YES HE DID!)** Sean doubled over in pain even as Little C swept forward with his sword and knocked the blue pixel sword out of Sean's hand. It flared out of existence as the ball hit the ground and shattered.

Sean fell to his knees, tears welling up in his eyes. He looked up at Lily, who was now standing over him with the Power of Understanding sword, and Little C, who stood next to her with the Power of Love sword. "What? THIS ISN'T HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO END! I'M SUPPOSED TO WIN! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DIE!" he yelled as he spit coins at Little C and Lily.

"Sean..." Lily started, her expression hard, "For breaking my heart... for the League of Evil Ex proxies... and for trying to kill my family... I'LL PUNISH YOU!"

Little C smiled. "I concur." **(Little C Note: YEAH!)**

Lily swung her sword down from the right, while Little C swung his from the left, and they both sliced Sean in an X pattern. He sat there for a moment, stunned, before rearing back and yelling to the sky...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

_**POOM!**_

The explosion of coins rocked the old Chaos Theater to its foundations, throwing Lily and Little C back against the wall. Everyone was enveloped in a blinding white flash...

**GRADUATION**

Scott Pilgrim and Ramona Flowers-Pilgrim **(Combined Rating: Best couple in Canadian history!) **sat quietly in the crowd of the Loretto College graduation ceremony. There were banners hanging from the rafters of the building, with a stage erected in front of the crowd. The graduates, dressed in navy gowns and seated closest to the stage, stirred and jostled, waiting for their names to be called.

Lily Pilgrim **(Age: 19... wait... WE MISSED IT? XXXX!)** looked over her shoulder at her parents, who were flanked by other members of her family. Kim and Lisa sat on Ramona's side, smiling. Lisa even risked drawing attention to herself **(The paparazzi had been stifling, trying to get a big Hollywood actress into a small high school graduation)** by waving frantically at Lily. Stephen **(Scott Pilgrim Note: ...Stills)** and Joseph sat on Scott's side, Joseph looking incredibly bored, but Stephen beaming at Lily.

Lily looked toward the stage as the names were being read by the Governor General of Canada **(Name: Bradley Porter, Status: Here because of a 'connection' to the graduating class)**. Knives was sitting on the stage as well, and took a moment to give a small wave to Lily.

"Jonathan Joshua Jacobs," Mr. Porter said. The crowd politely clapped, with most of the applause coming from a small corner of the room. John **(Name: John Jacobs, Relationship Status: Dating Kayla Simson)(Lily Pilgrim Note: WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT? I'll expect an explanation before this chapter is over!)** walked across the stage and calmly gave a thumbs up to Lily.

"Kayla Marie Simson," Mr. Porter droned on. A bit more of a boisterous response met Kayla walking on the stage **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Seriously... how could you not tell me? I am SO getting the full story on this later)**. She flashed a smile at the crowd and then particularly at Lily, as if to say, "Don't worry... I'll explain later."

"Cornelius Lee..." Mr. Porter paused for a moment, looking at the sheet in front of him, even squinting. "Nguyen?"

Little C stood up **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Cornelius? His name is Cornelius? Guess that's why we call him Little C)**. After smiling down at Lily, he walked up on the stage and took his diploma from Mr. Porter.

Lily looked down at her ankle. It was bandaged, a reminder of the two weeks of hell she had been through. But it was a good two weeks too. She had gotten a job. She had learned more about her family **(Lily Pilgrim Note: In some cases, too much)**. She had come to terms with not only who her parents were, but who she was. She had fallen in love, had her heart broken, and then found the person she was supposed to be with all along. Not bad for a two week period.

"Lily Kimberly Pilgrim," Mr. Porter said.

**"WHAT?"** Lily heard someone screech behind her. She stood up and stole a glance over her shoulder to see her Aunt Kim trying desperately to get a hand on her father, with only Lisa and her mother keeping it from happening. "I TOLD YOU, SCOTT PILGRIM!" she yelled. Lily couldn't help but giggle.

She gingerly stepped up onto the stage and walked across, taking her diploma from Mr. Porter** (Lily Pilgrim Achievement Unlocked: Graduate and/or survive high school!)**. As she looked back at her family, she could see her father still trying to get away from Kim while her mother held her back. Ramona glanced at Lily and smiled, rolling her eyes at Scott.

Their graduation party was held in the backyard of the Pilgrim house. Kim had finally calmed down, but not before giving Scott something of a black eye **(Ramona Flowers-Pilgrim Note: Makes him look pretty rugged… and hot… not gonna lie)**. As he held an ice pack over his eye, he smiled at Ramona.

"Told you we'd be awesome parents," he said, a wide grin on his face.

"That you did," she replied as she put an arm around his shoulders. They watched Lily walking around the party, smiling and shaking hands with everyone. Ramona turned back to Scott. "And just for the record, I never disagreed with you," she said with a smile.

Lily walked around the party. She was trying to see everyone, but there were three people in particular she wanted to talk to right now. So when she saw Kayla and John hand in hand across the party, she made a beeline to them.

"When were you going to tell me about this?" she demanded as she gestured to their hands.

Kayla smiled bashfully. "I don't know... it seemed kind of secondary to what was going on."

"We started dating in chapter 6, but we weren't sure how to tell you, and then things started happening and I guess it just kind of slipped our minds," John agreed.

"So that song you sang when we opened for Sex Bob-omb... that WASN'T from you to John?" Lily asked Kayla.

"Of course not. Well... I added a few parts. I'm better at the whole 'expressing myself' thing. But the idea of the song was all Little C," Kayla said with a wink.

Lily looked across the party, where Little C was standing with his parents. She started trying to get through the crowd, but she was stopped by her Aunt Knives right before reaching her destination.

"Hey Lily!" Knives said **(Name: Knives Porter, Status: Yes... married to the Governor General)**.

"Hi Aunt Knives," Lily said, still trying to keep an eye on Little C.

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm so happy for you. Any idea where you're going next fall?" Knives gushed.

"I know Aunt Kim suggests Nipissing, but Mom is kind of leaning towards University of Carolina in the Sky. Depends on how far I want to be from home," Lily answered.

"And your dad doesn't have any suggestions?"

"You know Dad. He doesn't even remember college," Lily said with a smile.

Knives nodded. "I guess he wouldn't. Also... I'm proud of how you handled the last few weeks. I'd have freaked out, but I guess it runs in your blood." She smiled as Mr. Porter came up and put an arm around her. "Anyway... until next time, Lil."

Knives and her husband walked away, and Lily tried again to get through the crowd, but she was cut off almost immediately by her Aunt Lisa.

"Lily, I am SO proud of you, and I just wanted to let you know that if you EVER need anything, or if you wanna come hang out in southern California for a little while, just give me a call." Lisa said.

"Sounds great!" Lily smiled.

"Anyway... I've got to go get ready for filming. We start tomorrow at Casa Loma. Just wanted to congratulate you," Lisa continued.

"Sorry for everything being so crazy while you were here," Lily lamented.

"Oh it's nothing. I get the feeling you can't be connected to Scott Pilgrim as long as I've been and NOT have some kind of experience with craziness," Lisa said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "And good luck with your NEW new boyfriend."

"NEW... new boyfriend?" Lily asked. "How did you know that?"

"I always know those kinds of things. After all, I was the one that convinced your father that what he had with Ramona was real. And look where it got them! I saw how Little C looked at you in the Chaos Theater. That's something special," Lisa said with a smile. "Good luck Lily... and I'm gonna hold you to that visit idea," she exclaimed as she walked away.

Finally, Lily reached Little C. Little C's parents congratulated Lily and walked away, possibly sensing what was coming.

"So..." Lily started.

"So..." Little C repeated.

"I enjoyed your song a few weeks ago," Lily stammered.

"Oh... Kayla told you about that, huh?" Little C smiled.

"Yeah. Are you okay?"

"What do you mean?" Little C asked.

"I mean... after the fight... are you alright?" Lily said, sounding very concerned.

"I'm great. Trust me... I'd been wanting to do that for a LONG time... ever since that guy showed up," Little C said with a big grin. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I lo... I mean... I was worried about you," Lily said with a knowing smile.

Little C nodded and smiled, then started to get closer to Lily, presumably for a kiss. As he was going in though, Lily put a hand on his chest to stop him.

"No. I promised myself something, and I'm going to do it," she said.

Then, it was Little C's turn to be surprised as Lily grabbed his head and kissed him. **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Hehehe... that was fun)** Time seemed to slow to a halt, but then it was brought roaring back by a loud voice.

"WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB, AND WE'RE HERE TO CONGRATULATE LILY PILGRIM ON A JOB WELL DONE! ONE TWO THREE FOUR!"

Lily and Little C broke off their kiss and looked at a makeshift stage in the backyard, where Kim Pine **(Kim Pine Note: Yep... I saw that... I'm gonna be watching you from now on, Little C)** started pounding on the drums. Scott **(Scott Pilgrim Note: Also saw that... same goes for me)** started playing the bass line and then Stephen Stills **(Stephen Stills Note: Saw that, but this is a gig... the gig comes first)** jumped in and started singing.

_Yeah Yeah  
Yeah yeah  
Let me make your stasis  
My-my-my-my Serpentine  
I got a breathalyzer  
And my body's clean_

Lily looked at Little C as Sex Bob-omb continued to play in the background.

"So... if we're going to continue to date, you MAY have to defeat my evil ex-boyfriend," she said with a serious face.

"But... we already did that didn't we?" Little C answered.

"Oh yeah... we did didn't we? So we're good now!" Lily exclaimed.

They kissed again, with the fireworks going off behind their eyes.

**_THE END_**


End file.
